Who Says You Can't Have It All
by phoenix fan1
Summary: Edward can't stand that Bella has to sacrifice so much to marry him and become a vampire. He is determined to find a way to give her everything she never knew she always wanted. AU/OOC/canon pairings. Rated M for language and lemons.
1. Prologue

**Re-posted 8/24/10 after being edited by my fantastic beta **HollettLA**

**Prologue**

Bella

"Mommy... um... I have a question," my four year old son said out of the blue one day while playing in his sandbox in our backyard.

"What's up, buddy?" I replied.

"How come you and Daddy are always so cold?" I froze in my place. I had known this, or another similar question, would come up eventually.

Edward and I had always known this would happen. We hadn't known when and we didn't know what his exact question would be, but we had known he would notice how different we all were someday. We had hoped Edward would hear it in his thoughts or Alice would see this coming. No such luck. Edward and Alice were hunting with Jasper, Emmett and Rose.

Regardless, Edward had never been able to hear our son's thoughts, much to his chagrin. Alice _could _see his future but if she had seen this on the horizon, she must not have had time to warn us. He must have just decided to ask. That's the thing about four-year olds. They are very unpredictable...even for a fortune telling pixie-like vampire.

"Um..." was my only response.

"Not just you and Dad," he went on to explain. "Auntie Alice is, too. Auntie Rose is even colder."

I couldn't help but chuckle. My relationship with my sister-in-law Rosalie had improved exponentially over the years. Still, I couldn't help but laugh at my son's observation. I absolutely adored Rose…now… and I could use many lovely words to describe her; warm just wasn't one of them.

"What's so funny?" My little guy asked.

"Nothing, sweetie. Well... how come you're asking me this today?" I didn't know how to answer his question. _Where the hell is Edward?_ I couldn't and shouldn't answer these questions without my husband. We needed to tackle this together. We needed a story for him that we could both stick to; an explanation that would answer his questions and wouldn't confuse him too much.

We were always pretty careful with him. Edward and I didn't ever limit our physical contact with our son, but the rest of the family, although they were always close with him, tended to stay at arm's length.

"I was just wondering..." he responded vaguely.

"Well, I'd like to know what made you wonder this." I was stalling. I knew this and my smart little boy knew it, too. I just really didn't know what to say.

Edward and I had always figured we'd have a little more time to figure out the answers to these inevitable questions. From the time he was a newborn baby, we would sit there for hours and watch our little boy sleep and whisper to each other the questions we expected he would ask one day. Why, oh why, didn't we ever settle on a story to give him?

I guess as new parents our main focus had been just awestruck adoration and complete bewilderment at the little person we created together. No matter our unique situation, we'd still been a new mommy and daddy who'd wanted nothing more than to watch his little chest rise and fall with every breath he took and we'd grin like idiots at each other with each little sigh and coo he made in his sleep. Though most of my human memories were vague, I remembered every second of my son's life. Minus, of course, a certain three day vacation Edward and I took after I stopped breast feeding.

"Yesterday after we went swimming..." he began. The day before had been cloudy, but very hot and my little guy's skin had felt ten times warmer after getting out of the extremely warm swimming pool. He was always so warm compared to the rest of us of course, but when I'd picked him up, his skin had felt scalding to me. "Your arms were fr-fr-freeeeezing," he finished, adding a shiver for dramatic effect. Then he giggled, clearly proud of himself.

I smiled and decided to evade his question a little longer. "Maybe I'm coming down with a cold?" I answered.

He gave me his Edward-like crooked grin and no matter how many times I'd seen him do it, I still couldn't believe how much he looked like his beautiful father. He'd inherited my chocolate brown eyes and easy blush, but there was no question which parent he took after most.

"Mommy, I've known you my whole life," he said. "And you've never been sick."

Damn, my son _was_ observant. We always knew how smart he was, but watching him figure things out before my very eyes was freaking me out.

I opened my mouth to speak then closed it, and then I did it again and again. I was speechless and caught completely off guard for the first time in a very long time...probably since I was human.

My son continued to stare me down, waiting with increasing impatience for an answer.

Thankfully, I could hear Edward running towards us. He was still about two miles away, but I knew he'd be here momentarily. I looked toward the trees and my little boy noticed where my gaze went.

"Daddy?" he wondered.

I smiled and nodded. He really _was_ noticing everything all of a sudden. He couldn't see or hear his dad's approach, but he sensed just by my body language that my Edward was close.

I could hear Edward slow his pace so our little guy wouldn't see him appear out of nowhere or run through the backyard at an inhuman pace.

Finally, he walked up to the sandbox and sat down next to our son. I could tell by the look on his face that he had either heard part of our conversation or Alice had seen this coming; albeit a little too late. Edward briefly met my eyes with a quick look of panic. He calmed himself just as fast and grinned down at our son.

Edward patted his head and rumpled his hair and our little guy huffed. He'd inherited his dad's hair so there was absolutely no taming it, nor messing it up further, but he hated when anyone touched it.

"I know, I know, 'don't mess with the hair'," Edward mimicked our little guy. "Sorry, buddy."

Our baby boy laughed. "Its okay, Dad. Just don't do it again," he replied with total seriousness.

He was just so cute! My dormant heart would have raced if it could. Watching my son with his father never ceased to amaze me. I didn't think that it was possible for me to love Edward more than I already did, but seeing him with our little boy made my love for him grow in ways I'd never imagined.

Edward laughed. "I won't. So... what are you and Mommy up to this afternoon?"

"I asked her a question and I don't think she wants to answer me," he responded. "Mommy always answers my questions, so I know something is up."

Edward looked into my eyes and held my gaze for a long moment. I just shrugged.

"Our son is quite observant all of a sudden, isn't he?" I deadpanned.

Esme appeared at the backdoor just then and called to her grandson, "Chocolate chip cookies straight out of the oven!" She smiled at him and said, "Too bad I don't know anyone who likes cookies..."

"Nana, you know I love cookies!" he yelled as he jumped up and ran towards the door. He stopped and looked up at her with a stern face. "You shouldn't mess with a growing boy and his food."

"Someone is spending too much time with Uncle Emmett," Esme said with a smirk as she led her grandson into the house.

I plopped down next to Edward in the sandbox and leaned my head against his shoulder.

"Knew this was coming... He's so damn smart... Should have been prepared... I'm over a hundred years old and my four-year old is smarter than me... shit..." Edward muttered to himself too low for a human to hear. He wrapped his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder.

He kissed the top of my head and said, "Guess it's time to be responsible parents and figure out how to tell our human child that his parents are vampires."

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

August 3, 2010


	2. Chapter 1

Beta: **Project Team Beta**

I want to provide a brief explanation about my intentions with this story. While it is kind of alternative Breaking Dawn, not everything that happened leading up to BD happened in my little world of this story. Just keep that in mind in future chapters. Now, I loved Breaking Dawn and I think Stephenie Meyer is amazing but the inspiration for my story comes from the fact that I didn't think Edward was portrayed enough as a loving father and (probably because of that mutt Jacob) he didn't seem to have much of a bond with his daughter. I wanted to see Edward as a daddy and Bella and Edward as loving parents together. I hope my story will accomplish that! Without further ado, I give you Chapter one…

**Chapter One**

Edward

"You know I'm not one to gossip," Angela Weber began. "But if I don't tell someone what I know, I think I might explode! You have to promise not to tell anyone," she exclaimed.

My beautiful fiancé Bella Swan and I were hanging out at the diner with Angela and her boyfriend Ben Cheney. I had my arm wrapped protectively around Bella's shoulder. She certainly didn't need to be protected in the little booth we sat in at the little diner, in the little town of Forks, WA, but having physical contact with Bella always calmed me.

Being so in love with a fragile human often caused me immense anxiety. Being away from her for more than a few hours at a time was completely unbearable. My brother Emmett gave me shit about it every chance he got. He was constantly telling me I was too wound up and I wouldn't be so tense all the time if I would just get laid already.

I couldn't say that idea didn't appeal to me. I may not be human, but I am still a man. I certainly wasn't oblivious to how gorgeous Bella was, and she wasn't the only one looking forward to our wedding night. She had no idea just how badly I wanted her.

I wished Emmett would back off though. He had no clue how I felt. He couldn't even begin to understand what it was like for me. He didn't have to worry about his mate the way I had to worry about mine. There were just too many awful things that could happen to my Bella.

The fact that she was a magnet for trouble didn't help the situation. As much as I wanted Bella to have every possible human experience, if I was being honest with myself, I would admit that I would be so incredibly relieved when I didn't have to worry about her getting hurt or sick every second of every day.

We had about a month to go before our wedding, and I was trying to get Bella to spend as much time with her human friends as she could. Unfortunately, she would be saying goodbye to so many people soon. She tried to keep up a brave front for me, and I had no doubt that she was unwavering in her decision to become immortal, but I knew that Bella couldn't help but feel a little sad about the things she was giving up.

Bella was giving up so much to be with me forever, but being apart was just not an option for us. I vowed that I would never make a decision on her behalf again and I would never ever leave her again. I had tried to do the right thing by leaving her last fall. I thought that with me out of the picture, she would move on. I thought that she would eventually fall in love again and maybe get married and start a family someday. I tried to convince myself that it was the right thing to do. If she had moved on though, it would have destroyed me.

As much as I wanted to give her everything that she deserved, I wanted her for myself more than anything in the entire world. Yes, I certainly was selfish. The only thing that gave me some comfort was that my Bella was just as selfish when it came to me. She wanted me forever, too. She loves me almost as much as I love her. Knowing that, truly believing it, is by far the best feeling in the world. Still, it was absolutely devastating to me that I was taking so much from her.

"Lauren Mallory is pregnant!" Angela whispered loudly, breaking me from my thoughts. She was being far too noisy if she was really trying to keep this a secret. _Lauren is pregnant! What an irresponsible little skank! That freaking jerk Tyler Crowley is going to be a father! Oh Lord, please watch over that poor unfortunate baby…_

My dead heart sank. I was actually jealous of 'an irresponsible little skank' and 'a freaking jerk.' It was just stupid small town gossip and it may not even be true.

Still, every time I saw a baby or heard about a baby these days, I felt like someone had sucker-punched me. Just last week a diaper commercial came on during a baseball game that Emmett, Jasper and I were watching. I actually had to leave the room so Emmett wouldn't see how deeply it affected me. He would have harassed me for a decade about that one. I'm sure Jasper could sense my feelings about it, but at least he was gracious enough to keep it to himself.

A baby was just one of the many things I didn't think I'd ever be able to give my Bella. Like so many things before I met her, becoming a father was not something I ever thought about. Now, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about it.

Bella didn't know this yet, but I wanted her to have my baby and, if she shared my desire, I had every intention of finding a way to make it happen.

Bella laughed at Angela. "Who told you that? Jessica? Mike? Come on Ang, it's probably not even true."

"My dad would totally kill me for repeating this; actually he doesn't even know that I know she is pregnant, but Lauren's parents are making her and Tyler get married. My dad has them in pre-marital counseling right now," Angela explained. "Plus, Samantha works at the pharmacy where Lauren bought her pregnancy test. Then a week later, she came back to pick up pre-natal vitamins."

"Why _else_ would anyone our age get married?" Ben said sarcastically, and then he grinned at Bella. "Are you guys absolutely sure there isn't some news you'd like to share with us? Come on and level with us… is there a little baby Cullen on the way?" _Oh shit, way to open your big mouth. I hope Edward doesn't get pissed at me for saying that. We're friends now, right? Friends can joke about stuff like this, right? I don't really find him scary anymore but sometimes…_

Bella giggled then elbowed me in the ribs. Silly girl; she probably would end up with a bruise from that little stunt. "See Edward… I told you that's what people would think," she said to me.

"Nope, there is definitely no baby Cullen in our future," she told them. "For more than just one reason…" she murmured so quietly only I could hear her.

"Well, maybe someday. Right, love?" I said with a grin. Bella just looked at me like I was crazy.

"Um, sure. Maybe?" she said incredulously.

Angela's face lit up in a huge smile. "You two would have the most adorable babies!" _Of course I love Ben, but Edward is sooooooo effing gorgeous! Imagine what their kids would look like… Oh my gosh… Bella is so lucky. _

If Angela only knew the truth; I don't think lucky would be the word she'd use. Majorly fucked was more like it. Then again, if I could find a way for Bella and me to have a baby, we'd be the luckiest people in the world.

We stayed at the diner with Angela and Ben for about an hour. It was extremely difficult to pretend to eat and drink while sitting that closely to other people. Unfortunately, I had to choke down a couple of bites of disgusting berry cobbler and a few sips of water. At least the water would make it easier to expel it all later. Gross.

Ah, the things I do for love.

I'm sure Emmett will have a field day with this one. Right now Alice is probably describing the vision she is getting of me having to puke all this shit up after I drop Bella off. Ugh. And I guarantee Emmett is laughing his ass off.

_Note to self: Have Bella beat the hell out of Emmett a few times while she's a strong newborn._

"What the hell was that about?" Bella asked me on the way home. "Having a baby? 'Maybe someday?' Have you lost your damn mind?"

"What if it were possible? Would you want to have a baby?" I asked her, trying to hide the hope in my voice.

Bella looked at me for a long moment. She was studying me, clearly trying to figure out what I was thinking. I made sure my face gave nothing away.

"Well…?" I prompted her. _When will I get over the fact that the one mind that I actually want to read is the only one that I can't?_

"Is this another one of your tactics to get me to wait on being changed?" she almost yelled at me. "Come on now… we've decided this."

"No Bella, I'm not trying to stall you. But I would like an answer to my question please," I said.

"How am I supposed to answer that?" she asked, obviously annoyed. "If I say no, you probably won't believe me, or you'll think I haven't really thought it through. If I say yes, you'll think I'm not completely sure about being changed and you'll keep on trying to talk me out of it. You are really screwing me here, Edward!"

I laughed. "Not quite yet, love. But in twenty-seven days…" I trailed off and then wiggled my eyebrows at her. She gaped at me and her demeanor quickly changed. Suddenly she wasn't so irritated with me.

"Edward Cullen, you are such a tease," Bella said in a flirtatious tone.

"I'm not teasing you baby, I'm promising you…" This beautiful creature was going to be my wife in less than a month and I wanted to flirt with her.

I always tried to keep up the facade that I was a dignified man. I tried to pretend that my Bella's beautiful, sexy body didn't call to me more than even her blood did at this point.

I tried to act like every touch from her didn't turn me on. I tried to pretend that I didn't desperately need to rush home to take an inappropriately long shower every morning after spending the night with Bella in her bed.

Now, more than ever, knowing that our wedding night was so close, I felt more and more like a horny seventeen year old who just wanted to throw Bella down on the bed... or on the floor… or on the grass in our meadow… or–

"Edward?"

"You still haven't answered me," I reminded her, quickly shoving my fantasies aside.

Bella leaned over and put her left hand on my leg. Her hot little hand rubbed my thigh and if I didn't have the ability to drive without really paying attention to the road, we'd probably be wrapped around a tree in a Volvo pretzel right now.

_Does Bella have even the slightest idea as to how she affects my body?_ No, of course she doesn't, because I have always been so careful with her. _Bella, just move your hand up a little higher, baby. Oh shit… She is getting so much better at distracting me._

"Bella, I know what you're trying to do…" I said in a slightly strained voice.

"And is it working?" she asked, leaning in close and whispering in my ear. _Yes, oh yes Bella. It is so working. _

When did she become such a little vixen? Her hot breath was blowing in my ear… And cue the all too frequent Bella induced erection_. _

_Alice, I hope you are not watching us right now! Please, for once, allow me some dignity!_

I placed my hand over hers to stop her. I pulled her hand up to my mouth and kissed her engagement ring. Seeing my mother's ring on Bella's hand always gave me a secret thrill. I pulled her hand to my chest, over my silent heart and pouted. "Please just answer me."

"How about you answer a question for me first. Are you asking me this because you want me to stay human and you think having a baby is a beautiful human experience? Blah, blah, blah Edward. How many times do I have to tell you this? My decision has been made and there is absolutely no changing my mind."

Bella paused then chuckled softly. "Or do you just suddenly want to be a daddy?" she asked sarcastically.

That is precisely what I wanted but I wasn't sure if she would take me seriously if I came straight out and told her that.

"Angela thinks that you and I would make an adorable baby together," I reminded her with a grin.

Bella looked stunned. "Gah! Are you seriously trying to tell me that you want to have a baby with me? Of all the impossible…"

"What if it was possible?" I interrupted her. "Would you want to?"

"What if pigs could fly? What if Forks was the sunniest place on Earth and it never ever rained here? What if…"

"What if vampires were real?" I cut her off. _Ha, got you there_!

"I am so confused," she muttered. "Are you saying that it might be possible for me to have your baby? This is really coming out of left field, Edward. I don't even know what to think. Have you been thinking of this for a while? Why are you just mentioning it now?"

"Actually, I_ have_ been thinking about it for a while. You know that you are my first and my only love. You're soon going to be my wife. I love you so much Bella, more than you can even comprehend, more than my own life. It's not only that it kills me to deprive you of something that you would probably otherwise have in the future if it weren't for me…"

"Stop right there!" she interrupted. "I have told you that I have never been one of those girls who played with her dolls and pictured herself being a mommy."

"Love, will you do me a favor?" I looked at her with the full force of my so-called dazzling gaze.

Bella just blinked, slightly stunned. She nodded at me to go on.

"Take some time and do just that. Picture it. Imagine what it might be like. Think about it and we'll talk about this again soon. Okay?"

Again, she nodded.

"Because I have, Bella. I have imagined it and it is by far the most beautiful and amazing picture I have ever seen."

Bella

Just when I thought that he couldn't possibly turn my world more upside down, Edward lays this one on me. He wants me to have a baby?

A baby!

What.

The.

Fuck.

If he thinks he wishes he could read my mind more than I wish I could read his; well he's got another thing coming.

My fiancé, who happens to be a vampire…a freaking vampire… wants me to consider having a baby. Is that even possible? If it was, then his sister Rosalie certainly would have found a way. Of course there was a BIG difference between Rose and me.

_I_ was still human.

I_ could_ have a baby.

But I didn't want to have a baby. Not if the baby wasn't Edward's.

Whoa.

I _did_ want to have a baby, but only if Edward was the father? And not just raising the baby with me, acting as a father. I would only want Edward's biological child. That brought me right back to things that were impossible.

However, if it _was_ impossible, would Edward have even brought it up?

"Penny for your thoughts…" Edward said cheekily and flashed me his crooked smile that I loved so much.

_Oh god, he is so sexy. I cannot wait for our honeymoon! Focus Bella._

"It would be more like a silver dollar. So many thoughts are running through my head right now…" I replied. "Edward, once again you have completed stunned me. I'm going to need time some to think about this. Then I'll have at least a million questions."

"That's all I ask sweetheart. Just think about it and then we'll talk it out. Okay?" he asked sweetly.

I just nodded, once again rendered utterly speechless.

When we pulled up in front of my house, I was glad to see that Charlie wasn't home yet. I needed some time by myself.

Edward leaned over to kiss me goodbye and I expected just a quick peck. I was pleasantly surprised when he reached over, unbuckled my seat belt and roughly pulled me into his arms.

Of course my heart started hammering away, especially when Edward started kissing my neck. He slowly worked his way up, kissing my jaw, then the corner of my mouth. His hand that rested on my lower back was inching slowly under my shirt as his lips continued their assault just under my ear. I was breathing so heavily I could barely catch my breath.

"Breathe, love," he whispered against my skin.

I took a steadying breath then fisted my hands into the hair at the back of his neck and pulled his mouth to mine. I kissed him hungrily, letting my tongue trace his bottom lip lightly. Edward shuddered slightly then he tightened his grip on me just a bit.

That was the exact opposite of how he usually reacted when I got carried away. Normally, he would loosen his grip and slowly push me away, always being extra careful to not make me feel like he was rejecting me.

Not today though. This was different and I absolutely loved it!

The hand that was on my back and under my shirt continued to slowly creep its way up until it reached just below where the clasp of my bra was. As soon as Edward realized where his hand had traveled, he completely froze.

His lips stopped moving against mine and I could feel how uncomfortable he suddenly was. He was always too careful. Sometimes I just wanted to scream at him 'no matter what else we are, we are still ultimately just teenagers who want to make out and go crazy on each other!'

"Do not say you're sorry," I told him adamantly.

He nodded slightly with an unreadable expression on his face.

"I love you so much Edward," I whispered in his ear, not even bothering to hide the fact that I was breathing as heavily as a smoker trying to run a marathon. "I cannot wait to be your wife." I knew that would calm him but it was also completely true.

"I can't wait to call you my husband," I told him just before I licked his ear. He hissed and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Isabella…" Edward groaned. "You seriously will be the death of me."

I gave him my most innocent smile and shrugged. "Ah, but what a wonderful way to go, right baby?"

He shook his head and smiled at me, and as usual, I was totally dazzled. He shifted in his seat and sighed, "I have to go now but I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"

I nodded and kissed his cheek.

Edward then grabbed my face and whispered in my ear, "I love you and I cannot wait to call you my wife." Then _he_ licked _my_ ear. It was the single most arousing thing I had ever experienced.

_Oh. My. God. Is it August 13th yet?_

Edward was going hunting locally that night and would be back by the time I went to sleep. Under normal circumstances, I hated being away from him even for a few hours at a time.

Today though, I didn't mind it so much. I needed to think and it was nearly impossible to think clearly with Edward around. His gorgeous hair, his beautiful face and his oh so very kissable lips were far too distracting.

_Kissing Edward…touching Edward… Edward touching me… _There go my impatient human hormones again. Yes, trying to make a baby with him would certainly be fun.

Allowing myself to have those kind of thoughts was extremely disconcerting to me. When your first and only love is a vampire, what is the point of even entertaining the notion of having a baby? If Edward was human, I'm sure eventually I would have thought about what it might be like to get married and have a family.

Of course if he wasn't immortal, we certainly wouldn't be getting married in a month! My fiancé will forever be the gloriously beautiful boy that he is right now and I refuse to get much older than him.

_Okay, time to focus. _

Edward wants me to think about having a baby. Edward wouldn't want me to give birth to another man's child, would he? No, he must know that I would never want that. Or is he so determined that I have every human experience possible that he _would_ want that?

He had to mean his baby, right? But that was impossible. Then again, two years ago I would have told you the existence of vampires was impossible. With everything I have seen and experienced since I met Edward, I wondered if there was _anything_ that was truly impossible.

I allowed my thoughts to go there and my mind was immediately flooded with pictures of what it could be like.

I saw myself with a swollen stomach while Edward rubbed my belly and talked to the baby inside of me. He looked at me with such love and adoration when he felt a kick.

I saw Edward sitting in my old rocking chair, cradling a tiny baby his arms. The baby was wrapped in a blue blanket and messy bronze colored hair was sticking out from the white cap on his little head.

I saw Edward chasing a toddler through our meadow. He was smiling jovially as he let the little brown eyed boy outrun him.

I saw me and Edward walking together on a cloudy afternoon holding hands with the little boy between us.

Before I knew it, fat tears were rolling down my face. As crazy and improbable as it seemed, I felt like I just might be seeing my future.

And I wanted it.

I think.

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

August 15, 2010


	3. Chapter 2

Beta: **Project Team Beta** and **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-reader:** tg10781**

**Chapter Two**

Edward

Later that night, when I returned from hunting, Bella was being unusually quiet. I knew that I had given her a lot to think about. I had to admit that I was really nervous about what she thought of the whole concept of having a baby. It was probably too much to hope for that she would want to have a child as much as I did, but I couldn't stop the hope from welling up inside of me.

Bella looked completely drained. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was sniffling. As usual, she had taken a shower before bed, but she could not wash away the fact that she had been crying.

"Love, I can see that you have been crying. I know that I probably shocked you today. I'm so sorry about that. Please, Bella, talk to me," I begged.

"I'm fine, Edward," she said with a sniffle. "I'm not really ready to talk about this yet. I'm just so exhausted right now. We can talk in the morning, okay?" she asked as she started to yawn.

I nodded sadly. What else could I do? Bella only talked when she was ready and there was really no point in trying to push her. I probably could get her to talk if I really wanted to. I wouldn't do that though. This was far too important to mess up.

I gingerly climbed into Bella's bed and gently pulled her into my arms. I gave her a chaste kiss on the mouth and willed myself not to get aroused from the memories of kissing her in the car earlier.

It had felt so good to simply have my hand on her back... her skin was so warm and soft… and oh my god, when she licked my ear- _Stop it right there, you horny bastard! Your fiancé is tired. Let her rest._

"Love you," Bella whispered softly, then closed her eyes.

"Love you more," I replied, then kissed her temple and wished her sweet dreams.

Bella had a very fitful night's sleep. She talked much more than usual. Most of it was nonsense, but I definitely caught some words and sentences that got my hopes up and some that nearly made me burst out laughing.

"Baby," she whispered. "My baby… our little boy…"

I think if I could cry, that would have made me tear up.

"Oh, Edward, our son is so beautiful. He looks just like you," she mumbled with a smile. That statement alone made me grin like an idiot.

It sounded like Bella wanted us to have a little boy. I had been picturing a little girl with my odd colored hair and Bella's beautiful brown eyes. Regardless, just the fact that she was even dreaming about having a child at all was incredibly exciting to me.

Bella was quiet for a while and then I heard her say, in a slightly louder voice, "A baby? Crazy idea… Edward must be out of his fucking mind."

I couldn't help but laugh. I did just spring this on her today. Bella had proven again and again that she could handle bizarre situations better than any human in the history of the world, but I knew full well that I had really thrown her for a loop. But this was something I had been thinking about, planning for, and desperately wanting for a long time.

It made me think back to a conversation that I had with Carlisle while Bella and I were apart. Usually, I hated to think back on the darkest and saddest time of my entire existence, but I had learned so much during that period and soon it would be time to explain it all to Bella.

"_Edward… is that you? Where are you?" Carlisle shouted into the phone. "This connection is just terrible! Can you hear me?"_

"_Yes, it's me. I can hear you just fine. Can you hear me now?" I responded, feeling like that nerdy guy with the glasses in those obnoxious Verizon commercials. _

"_Yes, I can hear you better now. Edward, I am so glad you called! We have all been so worried about you. Where are you?" my father asked._

"_I'm in South America," I answered emotionlessly._

"_Oh, Edward, you don't sound well. Please, son, come home," Carlisle begged._

"_Carlisle, please don't…" I responded._

"_Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm just so glad that you called! How is it there? I have some acquaintances that tend to stay in that part of the world," he replied._

"_I know; that is why I'm calling. I have run into some old friends of yours. Kachiri and Zafrina have told me some rather amazing stories," I told him._

"_I haven't heard from them in decades. How are they? What kind of stories have they told you?" he asked._

"_There is a local legend that a male vampire and a human woman conceived a completely human child together…" I trailed off, suddenly overcome with the emotions that I had been trying to suppress. If it was true, then maybe Bella and I could…_

"_That is not possible!" Carlisle interrupted. _

"_Carlisle, in all of your hundreds of years and with everything that you have seen and experienced, do you really believe that anything is impossible?" I asked._

"_Oh, Edward… I don't know… what have you heard? What have you seen? Is there any proof of this?" he fired off question after question._

"_I haven't seen anything with my own eyes yet. I have heard that the mother's name is Pire and the child's name is Nahuel. The father is a vampire called Joham. Pire raised the child with her sister Huilen. Joham apparently disappeared after the child was born. The details are very sketchy."_

"_I just don't see how a vampire could impregnate a human woman with a normal human child," Carlisle said skeptically._

"_I was hoping you could try to find out more about this for me, Dad. Kachiri and Zafrina don't have the contacts that you do and they have already told me everything that they know. The story is that Joham underwent some kind of treatment to make it possible, but we don't know yet what the treatment was," I explained. _

"_If this is true, then you and Bella could…" he began with such hope and love evident in his voice._

"_Please stop!" I sobbed. "I can't even… I can't… She..." I couldn't even say her name out loud. "She deserves so much better than anything I can give her. This changes nothing! NOTHING!" _

_But I knew better. If there was even a chance that it was true, this could change everything. If we could have a child, she would not be giving up that opportunity to be with me. I could actually give her something rather than deprive her of something._

"_Son, this could change everything. If you and Bella could have a child…" he trailed off. "I know you feel that you can't be with her because she deserves more, and that she should be able to have all possible human opportunities; but Edward, you belong with her," Carlisle whispered, trying in vain to soothe me. _

"_Please just try to find out everything and anything that you can," I responded more curtly than I had intended to. I took a moment to compose myself, and then said, "I promise, I will call again soon."_

"_Yes, of course, Edward. I will contact everyone that I know who may be able to shed some light on this. I will find out absolutely everything that I possibly can," he told me in the most fatherly manner. "Don't forget, we all love you, son. Please take care of yourself. And please, please call again soon."_

"_Thank you," I told him sincerely. "I love you all, too," I whispered, then hung up the phone. I didn't want Carlisle to hear me completely break down. _

_I allowed myself to briefly consider the possible ramifications of my new discovery before I ran into the jungle to try to find some kind of animal to provide the type of sustenance that I would never find in Forks. _

_The sleepy little town of Forks, Washington… That was where my heart was. But I refused to let myself dwell on that tonight. Although I would not admit it to anyone, and I was barely admitting it to myself, I still had hope for a future with a beautiful brown eyed angel from Forks…_

"Dad, I'm pregnant… No! Please! Dad, don't shoot him!" Bella's voice snapped me out of my memory.

She thrashed against the protective hold of my arms until I squeezed her a bit tighter and whispered in her ear. "Shhhh, Bella. You're okay, my love. It was just a dream. Don't worry, baby. Besides, I'm bullet-proof, remember?"

Bella sighed quietly and then returned to a more peaceful slumber. Meanwhile, I continued to hold her, hoping that Charlie wouldn't really shoot me when we told him the news that I hoped we would one day deliver.

Bella

Sometimes, I still had dreams about when Edward left me last year. I could remember the empty feeling so clearly. It was the absolute worst experience of my life, and I'd had some pretty bad things happen to me. Thankfully, I no longer had the nightmares that resulted in me waking up screaming like I had while we were apart.

I knew that Edward listened to my sleep talking, and I could not be held responsible for what I said when I was unconscious. But I also knew that if I ever woke up screaming about our time apart in his presence, he would never forgive himself.

Although I felt that I was over it, and I did not really believe that there was anything to forgive, Edward still constantly apologized for leaving me. I completely understood that he left me in an attempt to keep me safe, and I never faulted him for it. My safety was always his main concern, and I knew how tortured he felt when he thought about anything bad happening to me.

However, I was just now beginning to realize that another reason he left me was because, with him out of my life, I would be able to have the most human existence possible. What could be a more human experience than having a child? Honestly, it was not something that I ever thought that I would experience. I had never even bothered to imagine it, but now that Edward had asked me to think about it, my mind would not let me think of anything else.

My dreams that night were filled with that same beautiful bronze haired, brown eyed boy that I had pictured earlier. I could see him so clearly in my mind.

I had absolutely no doubt that he was Edward's and my child. He had my eyes and rosy cheeks, but the rest of him was all Edward. The hair, the nose, the mouth, the jaw, the crooked smile… he was absolutely perfect.

I could almost feel the way his tiny fingers wrapped around my mine. I could almost hear the precious sounds he would make when trying to speak in his cute little baby babble. I could almost smell that sweet baby scent that women always fussed over.

I just had never been one of _those_ women.

I had never been one to gush about babies the way that some people did. I certainly never felt that I had any type of motherly instinct… until now. The little boy that I was envisioning had awoken something in me. I suddenly felt like I would do anything to protect him.

I simply could not get this child out of my mind. This boy was the most magnificent child that ever existed.

Except that he didn't exist. Not yet, anyway. And now that I had seen these visions, I wasn't sure if I could let them go.

Still, I could not help but feel that this was a really crazy idea and some type of stall tactic on Edward's behalf. But if this child that I was seeing in my mind's eye could be real someday, I had to be open to the possibilities that Edward was planning to lay out for me.

I woke up to Edward sweetly stroking my cheek with one hand, and rubbing my back with the other.

"Are you okay, love?" he asked with concern.

I was still pretty groggy, but I said, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You had a pretty rough night. I haven't seen you toss and turn that much in a really long time," he told me cautiously.

"Well, I had a lot on my mind, didn't I?" I responded more sharply than I'd intended to.

"Yes, I suppose you did. Are you…" he cleared his throat unnecessarily. "Are you ready to talk about it yet?"

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "I need a human minute or two and then we can talk, 'kay?"

"Yes, of course, sweetheart. I'll just wait right here." Edward seemed so hesitant. He must have really been worried about what I was about to say.

I still had so many questions to ask him. I needed to make absolutely sure that he honestly believed that it was possible for me to have _his_ baby before I told him that I did, in fact, want to.

The only thing that I knew with complete certainty was that the only baby I wanted was a baby that was half Edward.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I tip-toed back towards my bedroom. I knew that Charlie was already gone for the day, so I didn't really need to be so quiet. Suddenly _I_ was feeling very hesitant.

The conversation that Edward and I were about to have would no doubt change my whole life; no, my whole existence. Even if I _could _have his baby, I still had every intention of becoming immortal. That was one thing that I would never change my mind about.

Being with Edward for eternity had been my only dream. It was truly all that I wanted for my future. But now that it might be possible for me to have even more to hope for, I was excited and a little scared.

The idea of having Edward forever _and_ having this beautiful child that had invaded my every thought since yesterday just seemed too good to be true. _Is it really possible for me to have it all? _

When I returned to my room, Edward was sitting up in my bed not moving, probably not even breathing.

"Hey," he whispered tentatively when he saw me. I plopped down at the end of the bed and sat on my knees.

"Before I say anything about how I feel about the bomb you dropped on me yesterday," I began. Edward looked at me guiltily and nodded. "You need to answer some questions for me first."

"Okay," he said simply.

"Do you want me to have a baby?" I questioned.

"Love, it's not that simp…" he began.

I cut him off. "Just answer the question, please."

"Well yes, but…" he tried to explain.

"Because you think that it's a human experience that I will one day regret not having?" I asked pointedly.

"I am not going to lie and say that it isn't something that I think you deserve to experience and may one day regret it if you don't, but Bella, that is not why I want…" he explained.

"Why then?" I pressed impatiently.

"I want…" he began. "I want…" he trailed off.

I had never seen Edward so unglued. It was beginning to make me very nervous. He started running his hands roughly through his hair and sucking in and harshly blowing out completely unnecessary deep breaths.

"Edward, baby, please look at me," I said as I pulled his hands out from his hair. I squeezed his hands in mine to try to reassure him.

It was not a frequent occurrence that I was required to be the caretaker in this relationship. When I was scared or confused, Edward was always there to support me and calm me. He always was my rock, and so it was quite unnerving to see him freaking out like this. However, I liked that I could actually take care of him for once.

"I can't hear _your_ thoughts either you know," I said with a smirk. "Please just tell me what's on your mind."

He sighed softly, and then smiled shyly. "Bella, before I met you, every single day was much of the same. I felt like I was stuck in purgatory. I was merely coasting by. I certainly was not enjoying life. Then, out of nowhere, a beautiful, fragile human girl turned my world upside down.

"I have been walking this Earth for over a hundred years, and yet I didn't know what love really was until I found you; or more accurately, until you found me. You are the only one that has ever brought out these feelings in me.

"Being with you, loving you and being loved by you, has been the absolute most thrilling and spectacular time of my entire existence."

Tears were falling freely down my cheeks again, but they were happy tears. Hearing Edward express his love for me gave me such astounding joy, and no matter how many times I had heard him say that he loved me, it still never ceased to amaze me.

Edward let go of my hands and wiped my tears away with an anxious and timid smile.

"You have made me see the world so very differently, my love. Before you, I never thought about what it might be like to have a mate to enjoy eternity with. I had no idea I even wanted one. After becoming a vampire, I never dreamed that I would get married, and yet here we are, a month before our wedding."

I nodded tearfully, still not quite sure what to say.

"There is one other thing that I see very differently now, too, Bella. Until you, the idea of becoming a father never even once occurred to me," he said nervously.

I gulped. "You want to be a father, Edward?"

"Yes, I do. I want to be a husband and a father. I want a family. I want to have a family with you, my beautiful Bella," he said with an adoring smile on his face as he stroked my cheek lovingly. "I want us to create an eternal reminder of the love we share. I have been so incredibly terrified of you giving up your humanity, because I know how it felt when I realized that I had lost mine. But maybe we don't have to give up everything after all."

_Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit._

I totally understood it now. I may have only been eighteen years old and I may have been too young to think that I had it all figured out, but when the man you love tells you that he wants to have a family with you, that he wants to create a life with you, things suddenly become very clear.

Inside I was freaking the hell out, but I had to try to keep calm and stay in control of the situation. Although I knew that Edward could hear my heart knocking against my ribcage at a frantic pace, I did not want my facial expressions to give me away.

"Edward, I have one more question before I tell you how I feel about all of this," I told him.

He nodded at me, indicating that he would answer me.

"Is it _really_ possible for you to father a child with me?" I tried my very best to sound strong, but I knew that my voice, like my hands, was shaking.

"Yes…" he said hesitantly. I gasped loudly_. Well, so much for staying in control._ "It may very well be possible. But the most important question of all still remains… Do _you_ want to have a baby?"

"Only if the baby is yours," I blurted out.

He smiled the absolute biggest smile I had ever seen. "Oh, Bella," he exhaled as he wrapped me in his arms.

"Edward, I swear, if this is just a trick you are pulling to try to make me think that staying human is…" I began.

Edward laughed, exasperated. "I pour my heart to you and you think that it's a trick."

_Crap! I hurt his feelings after he said the most exquisite words that I could ever hope to hear._

"No Bella, it is not a trick. I promise you, my love," he assured me.

I nodded into his chest. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I know you're being serious. I am just really confused. Vampires can't have children. If they could, certainly Rose and Emmett would have by now; Esme and Carlisle, too."

Edward sighed. "Two vampires cannot conceive a child together, that is true."

"So a human and a vampire can? Would the baby be a vampire? Or part vampire, or…?" I whispered.

Edward squeezed me a little tighter. "Why don't we go see Carlisle? He will explain everything to us."

I was still completely floored by this conversation and the turn of events that had completely rocked my world in the last eighteen hours. "Kay," I mumbled.

Edward pulled me up off the bed and stood in front of me. He looked into my eyes and said, "There is no one in this world that is happier than I am at this very moment."

Then he leaned down and gave me the sweetest of kisses. This amazing man, who loved me so completely, was going to be my husband, and possibly the father of my child. I thought of the little boy in my dreams and I couldn't help but smile.

_No, Edward, you are wrong. There is someone in this world that is happier than you are at this very moment…and she is standing right in front of you._

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

August 23, 2010


	4. Chapter 3

Beta: **HollettLA **(the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers: **tg10781** and **wytchwmn75**

**Chapter Three**

Edward

I could not think of an event in my over one hundred years of existence that had filled me with more sheer excitement. Bella was going to consider having our baby. We were actually going to try to make a family together. There was absolutely nothing that could make me happier.

It's not that good things haven't happened to me before. Before today, nothing had been better than finding Bella, and falling in love for the first – and last – time.

Also, I was a part of a wonderful, if unconventional, family. Having Carlisle and Esme as "parents" has been a blessing. I love them deeply and respect them completely.

Despite the fact that a lot of the time I want to throttle him, having Emmett join our family has been an excellent addition. As annoying as he can be at times, he really is a terrific brother. Finding him was probably the best thing Rosalie ever did for me, but I would never tell her that. She'd be horrified to find out that she'd ever done anything for my benefit.

My relationship with Rosalie had never been easy. I suppose I love her, the way all brothers are supposed to love their sisters, because I never really had a choice. Sometimes, however, I wished I didn't have to deal with her at all. Her jealousy of Bella was not a situation I cared to put up with, and having to hear her constant mental jabs toward the love of my life was maddening.

Rosalie had been a critical factor in my decision to leave Bella the previous year. The rest of my family had understood my need to ensure Bella's safety, which _was_ my primary goal in leaving Forks. However, in the middle of the war I was having with myself regarding whether or not I should leave, Rose stepped in. She convinced me that I should leave and stay away, not just so Bella would be safe from all of the danger that surrounded me, but so she could have a normal human life. To Rosalie, a normal human life consisted of marriage and children and that was really all that mattered.

Living in a household of vampires with superhuman hearing obviously meant that we always knew what was going on in one another's lives. I had thought that as soon as Rosalie had heard that having a child was in fact a possibility for Bella and me now, she would hate Bella even more. It turned out not to be the case at all. Rose was completely thrilled with the possibility of a baby joining our family. In fact, if Bella hadn't been so immediately receptive to the idea, I think Rosalie would have done all within her power to talk Bella into it. Even if she was supportive of us for her own selfish reasons, maybe she wasn't such a bad sister after all.

Having Alice and Jasper join us had been an even better development. Not only did their unique gifts make our lives so much easier, they were a great brother and sister to me.

Alice and I especially had a very unique bond, and I felt like she was my true sister. I honestly had no idea where I would be without her. If it weren't for her, I don't know if Bella and I would be where we are today.

_I was spending time in a fairly small, perpetually rainy town in Ireland, trying in vain to distract myself from the thoughts of where I really wanted to be. I checked my messages every three or four days. I did not really want to talk to anyone except Carlisle, and only because he potentially had information that I needed. _

_There were four messages from Alice. _

"_Edward, call me. I need to talk to you immediately," she said._

"_Edward, please, you need to call me right away," she said with more urgency in her tone._

"_Damn you, Edward! The latest vision I had of you was you erasing this message before you even listen to it. Please, Edward, don't! You need to call me NOW!" Alice screeched in a panicked voice. I sighed as I erased that one too and moved onto what was thankfully the last message._

"_Edward, I didn't really want to have to tell you this through voicemail, but you're leaving me no choice," she said calmly. "First, I need for you to know that she is okay. Well, not exactly okay, but she is alive." My breath started coming in gasps. If a vampire could have an anxiety attack, I would be having one. _

"_Bella is in the hospital. She was in your meadow…" My silent heart broke all over again at the thought of my Bella in our meadow without me. "Laurent and Victoria found her there..." My voicemail cut off just then. My battery was dead._

_I took off running, not caring if anyone could see me. Thankfully, it was nighttime so I at least did not have to worry about whether or not it was a rare sunny day._

_Miraculously, I quickly found a pay phone and dialed Alice. _

"_Edward, finally!" she answered after only half a ring._

"_Oh, God, Alice please tell me that she is alright!" I begged._

_Alice paused for just a second, but that moment felt like an eternity. "She will be."_

"_What does that mean? Alice, I need answers!" I shouted._

"_Calm down and listen to me, okay?" she began patiently. "You listened to my messages, right?"_

"_My fucking battery died! The last thing I heard you say was that Victoria and Laurent found her!" I exclaimed._

"_Shit. I'm sorry. Bella was in the meadow and they found her there. They didn't get a chance to touch her though, Edward," she explained._

"_What? Then what happened to her?" I demanded._

"_The Quileute wolves…" she started to explain. _

_The choking fear returned. "The Quileute wolves? Please tell me those wolves didn't attack her!" I bellowed._

"_If you would shut up for a minute, I would tell you," she began. "Jacob Black followed her to the meadow. I didn't get any visions of what was going to happen because of him."_

"_Are you telling me that Jacob Black is one of those damned shape shifters?" I interrupted._

"_Stop interrupting me! Yes, he is. He was following her and his creepy wolf brothers were keeping an eye on Bella, too. When Laurent and Victoria showed up, Jacob phased and attacked them. It obviously scared the shit out of Bella and she ran," Alice continued._

"_I swear to God, if Jacob Black hurt her, I will destroy him!" I yelled._

"_He saved her, Edward," Alice said quietly._

"_Oh," I replied, stunned. "Well, what happened to her then?"_

"_She ran and she fell," Alice told me._

"_What aren't you telling me, Alice?" I questioned impatiently._

"_Bella fell into a ravine. She was under water for over two minutes before Jacob found her. He pulled her out, gave her CPR and carried her back into town. She has a broken arm, a broken leg, a couple of cracked ribs and she hit her head really hard," Alice answered. "Jacob stayed at the hospital with her for two days. As soon as he left, I got the vision."_

_I could not believe what I was hearing. Bella was unquestionably no safer in Forks without me there than she was when I was there with her. I needed to get back to her. What the hell had I even been thinking leaving her in the first place? And now that we might have the potential to have a child, I could be with her without taking away everything that she deserved. _

"_Alice, where are you now?" I asked._

"_I'm at the hospital. I know that you didn't want me to watch her, and I know you didn't want me to come back to Forks, but-"_

"_Alice," I cut her off. "Thank you so much for being there for her."_

_She sighed. "What have I always told you, Edward? I love her, too."_

"_I know, sis." I took a second to take in all that Alice had told me. "How is she? Is she… is she in pain?" I sobbed, unable to hold it in any longer._

"_Bella is heavily medicated. They are keeping her very comfortable, Edward. She has drifted in and out of consciousness and she's been doing a lot of mumbling in her sleep." _

_I smiled slightly at the memories of the nights I spent listening to Bella's sleep-talking. It was the closest I'd ever gotten to hearing her thoughts. "She always talks in her sleep. I used to love listening to her ramblings," I breathed. "What has she been saying?"_

"_Oh Edward, I really don't know if I should tell you this…" she trailed off._

"_Tell me!" I demanded._

_Alice huffed. "She keeps saying your name…she keeps asking where you are…she keeps saying that she loves you… and she keeps asking why you don't love her," Alice choked out._

_Blinding pain ripped through me and it hurt far worse than even my transformation had. My angel… oh God, I had hurt her so much. I was a reprehensible, disgusting creature. How could it be, after all this time and after what I had done to her, Bella still loved me? My crazy, beautiful girl still loved me!_

_Although I did not need to breathe, I could not manage to catch my breath. I felt like I was suffocating. I would gladly rather go through any amount of pain than to hear how much Bella was hurting because of me and my misguided stupidity._

"_It's going to be okay, Edward. You will be here when she wakes up," Alice assured me. "You will be the first person she sees."_

"_Thank you, Alice. I don't know what I would do if you hadn't…if I didn't know what happened to her. I'm on my way," I told her._

"_I know you are," she said smugly._

So even with all the bad, good things have happened in my life. Seeing the smile on Bella's face when her eyes opened and she saw me in the hospital was a moment I'll carry with me for eternity.

The fact that she had forgiven me so quickly for leaving her had been even better.

Despite her aversion to marriage, the moment she had said she would marry me was probably thehappiest moment of my existence…until today.

My love, my life, my reason for being, was willing to have my child.

I knew no greater joy.

I waited in Bella's room while she went to get dressed for the day. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, because after our talk, Bella actually looked excited about all of this.

After I proposed, she had begrudgingly agreed to marry me, but she eventually grew to like the idea of being my wife.

So although she had agreed to discuss having a child, I most definitely did not expect for her to be so genuinely happy about it so soon after I had shocked her with the idea.

After about five minutes, Bella came bouncing out of the bathroom and jumped on me. I allowed her to push me onto the bed and straddle my hips. I wrapped my arms around her and wound my fingers into her hair. She began kissing my face; my eyebrows, my nose, my cheeks and finally my lips.

_Twenty-six days. Twenty-six days. I can wait twenty-six days._

I knew that I should stop her, but I was losing the battle against my morals and my willpower was beginning to fail me the closer we got to our wedding day. Bella slowly pushed her tongue into my mouth and rocked her hips against mine. Usually, when I'd get this aroused, I'd shift Bella away so she wouldn't feel it. Today though, after the life-altering conversation we'd just had, I couldn't find the strength to stop.

I knew the moment that Bella realized I was hard because her eyes flew open, she gasped, and then she moaned into my mouth. She shifted her hips again and I could feel her smile against my lips. She continued to kiss me for a few more moments, and then she pulled her mouth away from mine and dragged her lips across my cheek and up to my ear.

Her breath was heavy in my ear and that only caused me to grow harder. "I've been waiting so long to feel you, Edward," she whispered.

I didn't even recognize the noise that escaped my mouth; it was strangled moan, but I was far too gone to even be embarrassed about it. I had never been so turned on in my life.

Or so I thought.

Bella's lips closed around my ear lobe and she sucked hard as she continued to move above me.

_If I don't stop now, I'm not going to be able to. _

"Bella," I choked.

"I know," she sighed. "I know we have to stop, but I _really_ don't want to."

I groaned and gently lifted Bella off of me. Her face was bright red and her hair was a mess, but she had never looked more beautiful.

"I'm sorry," I told her.

"For stopping it, or for letting it get that far?" she asked, still breathless.

"Both actually," I said. "I know that doesn't make much sense, but it's true."

"I get it," she told me. "I know how _hard_ this is for you." Then she giggled and her face got impossibly redder. If I could have blushed, I would have as well.

I couldn't help but smile at her. I just shrugged, because I didn't really know what to say.

I needed a few moments to compose myself. "Love, why don't you splash some cold water on your face? I'll meet you in the car, okay?"

"Okay," she said as she stood up and headed back towards the bathroom, turning to blow me a kiss from the doorway.

Thankfully, by the time Bella got in the car, I had my not-so-little problem under control.

I could not stop staring at Bella as I drove. She held my hand and grinned at me with a twinkle in her eye.

"Edward, how long have you known that having a baby might be a possibility for us?" she asked with a shy smile.

I had to make sure to answer this question very carefully. I didn't want her to think that I was keeping secrets from her. "I first found out last winter while I was in South America."

Bella inhaled sharply. I knew that she hated to think about our separation almost as much as I did. "You didn't think it was worth mentioning before now?"

_Oh shit, she's pissed! It's time to turn on the charm._

"Well, I first found out about the possibility then, but I don't actually know many details myself yet," I began tentatively. "Carlisle has been doing some research for me and he just got some real data in the last week or so. He told me that he had good news, but I've been staying out of his thoughts. I wanted to see how you felt about it before I found out all of the specifics. I think we need to talk to him about this together."

Bella slumped in her seat and squeezed my hand a little harder.

"Are you very upset with me, love?" I asked as I turned to look deep into her eyes.

As usual, my Bella surprised me. She shook her head ruefully and smiled. "No, I'm not mad. I'm actually glad you waited to tell me until all of the facts were known. I would have just driven myself crazy wondering about it."

"You seem… I don't know… _happy_ about all of this. I honestly didn't expect that so soon. I thought I'd have to spend a lot of time trying to talk you into it," I told her cheerfully.

Bella laughed. "I'm actually pretty surprised, too. I just can't get him out of my head."

"Him?" I questioned.

Bella blushed. "Oh… well… um…" she stammered. "It's just that I keep picturing this little boy. He has my eyes, but just about everything else about him is all you," she sighed and then smiled blissfully. "He's perfect."

"You want us to have a boy, huh?" I chuckled.

"If I can have you, _and_ a child that looks like you, what more could I ask for?" she asked with a wide smile.

I grinned back at her. "Well, I can't guarantee that we'll get a boy, love. But I will do my best to make all of your dreams come true." _And all of my dreams, too._

Bella

I tried to remember the last time I had felt so happy and hopeful for my future. Since meeting Edward, I'd had so much joy in my life. When he had finally agreed to change me, I hadn't thought anything would ever top that feeling of joyful anticipation for my future. I had to agree to marry him, but I grew to realize that being Edward's wife was not a bad compromise.

Before today, the happiest moment of my life had been when he'd come back to me. My life had been so empty without him. I had virtually no memory of the first three months that he'd been gone. I had retreated so far into myself that I barely functioned. But once Edward returned to me, it was like the veil had been lifted and I was myself again. I realized how dependent I was on him, but I also knew that he was just as dependent on me.

And today I finally got to _feel_ how much he loved and wanted me, too. I always knew when things went a little too far for him, because he'd shift my body away from his. But he didn't do that today and I had never been so turned on in my life. If he'd just have given me a few more minutes...

_Twenty-six days. Twenty-six days. I can wait twenty-six days._

Edward held my hand as we drove toward his house. He looked so cheerful. He sang along with the radio while I thought back to the last time I'd felt this content.

_Edward had been gone for over six months. One hundred and ninety two days to be exact, not that I was counting. On this particular day, I was missing him so much I could hardly breathe. I felt so lost. I was beginning to doubt that he was ever even here. All traces of him were gone. I had no pictures to remind me. No love notes to look back on. He took everything with him. He'd wanted a clean break._

_I felt so strongly that I needed to go to a place where we'd been together to remind myself that he hadn't been just a figment of my imagination. _

_I had to find our meadow. _

_Jacob had been bugging me to hang out. He was a sweet kid, and I knew that he had a crush on me. He was a good friend to me, and having him around did help sometimes. I just would never see him, or anyone else, that way. Ever. Edward was my only love. Even if I never saw him again, I would never love anyone else._

_I told Jacob that I was busy that day and I set out to find the meadow. The whole time that I was plodding through the forest, I had the strangest feeling that someone was following me. _

_After four hours, and more than a few wrong turns, I finally stumbled upon the meadow. Seeing it made my heart break all over again. This was where Edward and I had declared our feelings for the first time. The memories hit me like a ton of bricks and my legs gave out. Then I started crying; the kind of heaving sobs that made you feel like you'd never catch your breath._

"_Jeez, Bella," Jacob said from behind me. I screamed through my sobs, not expecting anyone to be there._

"_What the hell, Jake?" I said when I could finally catch my breath. "I can't believe you followed me here. This is Ed…" but I couldn't say his name. "This is my meadow."_

_Jacob laughed. "You own a meadow? Wow, Bells."_

_He was such an idiot. "Jacob, I want to be alone," I said through clenched teeth._

"_Tough luck," he said with an arrogant smirk. "It's way too dangerous for you to be out here by yourself." _

_I glared at him. _

_He just smiled at me for a moment, and then his body suddenly went rigid. "Bella, get out of here right now," he commanded. _

"_No, Jacob. You can't tell me what to do. Leave me alone," I responded defiantly._

"_Bella, go, now!" he barked._

"_No, Bella, stay," I heard a musical, yet sinister, voice speak from behind me. I whirled around and found Victoria and Laurent standing about fifty feet away. My heart stopped for a brief moment before it started beating wildly._

"_Oh, no," I whispered._

"_Where's Edward?" Victoria asked cheerfully. "I was hoping for at least a little bit of a challenge. This will be too easy." _

"_Don't count on it, blood sucker," Jacob said angrily. He backed about ten feet away from me as his body started to shake. Before my very eyes, Jacob's body seemed to explode, pieces of his clothing went flying, and in the spot where he'd been standing was now an enormous russet-colored wolf. _

_I didn't even have time to freak out like I wanted to because five other giant wolves emerged from the forest and lunged toward Victoria and Laurent. _

_I did the only thing I could do. I ran. _

_The last thing I remember was my foot getting caught on a tree root and I fell._

_And then I was floating. I couldn't feel my body. _

_I kept seeing Edward's face. I would try to touch him, but he was always just beyond my reach. _

_I kept trying to talk to him, but he'd never respond. _

_I wanted to know where he had been. I wanted him to know I how much loved him. I wanted to know why he didn't love me. He wouldn't answer me though. He just looked through me like I wasn't even there._

_I don't know how long I floated. It could have been minutes. It could have been years. But suddenly I wasn't floating anymore. I felt like someone had dropped me from a vast height. My entire body hurt._

_I could hear voices…voices I hadn't heard in so long, but that I would recognize anywhere._

_Edward._

_Alice._

"_She's going to wake up soon," Alice said. "I'll leave you two alone."_

"_Alice?" Edward responded, sounding worried. "You're absolutely sure she'll be happy to see me?"_

"_I know that you can see it in my thoughts. She will be absolutely thrilled to see you."_

_Edward laughed lightly. I had missed that sound so much. "Yeah, I know. I just haven't been this nervous in…I don't even know how long." _

"_Aw, that's so cute," Alice giggled as her voice began to sound farther away._

_I wanted to call out to them, to let them know that I could hear them. But I couldn't. I thought that I was awake, but maybe I wasn't. I wasn't able to move or speak. _

_I remained that way for an immeasurable amount of time. It felt like forever, knowing that Edward was there and I couldn't speak to him. I wanted to tell him to stay, especially when I heard my father's voice suggesting to Edward that he leave and never come back._

"_I'm sorry, but I can't do that, Chief Swan," Edward told him forcefully, yet politely. "I made the biggest mistake of my life leaving before and I won't do it again. I'll be here until she orders me away."_

"_Now listen here," Charlie began gruffly._

"_Charlie, back off. Let's go get a cup of coffee," my mother's voice suddenly broke in. My mother was here? I must have really hurt myself badly. Again. My poor mother was probably sick of only ever seeing me when I was in a hospital bed._

"_Fine, but this isn't over," Charlie grumbled._

_Moments later, I felt a wonderfully familiar set of ice cold lips graze my forehead. I hummed in pleasure, glad that I was suddenly able to make noise again._

"_Bella?" Edward breathed. "Are you awake?"_

_I tried so hard to open my eyes, but my body just wouldn't let me. I tried to speak, but all I could get out was a garbled, likely unintelligible, "Edward…"_

"_Oh, Bella. It's okay, sweetheart. I'm going to get the nurse," he reassured me._

_I couldn't allow him to leave; even if it was just to go down the hall. I forced myself to speak. "No!" I yelled. Well, I thought I yelled, but it came out more like a squeak. _

_I had to see him. I had to see that perfect face that I'd been longing for. It took all of my strength, but I made my eyes open. My eyelids fluttered a few times before I could focus, but then I saw him. My Edward. My Edward was here. Even though it hurt, because every inch of my body hurt, I couldn't help but smile._

_And then he smiled back at me. _

"_You're really here," I whispered. "I missed you so much."_

"_I missed you, too, my love," he whispered back. "I am so sorry for leaving you."_

"_Are you going to leave again?" I asked, unable to keep the worry from my voice._

"_Never, unless you want me to…" _

"_Never," I assured him._

"_Bella, please, you have to let me tell you how sorry I am, how wrong I was. I just wanted you to be safe," he tried to explain._

"_No. You're here now. You came back to me," I told him definitively. _

_Then I panicked. "Wait, did you only come back because I'm hurt?"_

"_No, I would have come back anyway. It was only a matter of time. I hope you can forgive me, because I honestly don't know how to live without you," he whispered. "I love you. I love you so much."_

"_I love you, too. Now kiss me," I ordered. _

_He grinned, then leaned down and pressed his cool lips to mine. _

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked, breaking me from my reverie.

"When you came back to me," I answered. Edward cringed. He'd never forgive himself. "Stop it. That was one of the best days of my life."

"I'm so sorry for leav…" he began.

_Not this again. _"Don't even think about it," I commanded.

Edward chuckled. "You're already acting like a wife," he said with a grin. "Having you boss me around is actually kind of sexy."

_He is just too adorable for words! I still can't believe he's mine._

"Some level of bossiness is required for motherhood, too. Don't you think?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Wow. Motherhood. I might be someone's mother," I said aloud, mostly to myself. It was a strange, yet exciting concept. I probably looked terrified.

"You okay, love?" Edward asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think any woman would feel a little bit scared, yet excited at the prospect," I assured him.

He just nodded.

I squeezed his hand. "I want this, Edward. Now that I know it might be possible, I want it."

He smiled. "Carlisle is ready to tell us all about it." I looked up and realized we were already parked outside of the Cullen's garage. "You ready?" he asked as he suddenly appeared at my side to open my door.

"Ready," I assured him as he took my hand and led me through the garage.

"Hey, it's the possible future MILF!" Emmett shouted joyfully.

"Emmett!" Edward and Rosalie both yelled as Rosalie smacked him upside the head.

"Damn, Rosie, it was just a joke," Emmett said, rubbing the spot where she'd hit him.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks, I think," I called back at him as Edward towed me away, grumbling words that sounded like _idiot _and _meddling asshole_ under his breath.

"Bella!" Esme exclaimed as she pulled me in for a hug. "I'm so glad you're here. I feel like I haven't seen you in so long."

"She was just here last week, Darling," Carlisle said. "But it is great to see you, Bella."

I began to feel very nervous. He was about to tell me whether or not having my little boy was really going to be possible. I knew that I was getting way ahead of myself, but our son already felt so real to me.

"Good to see you, too," I replied anxiously.

"I'm sorry about Emmett," Esme told me. Of course, she had heard him. "Sometimes his manners leave much to be desired."

I giggled nervously. "It's okay."

Edward took my hand and led me to the couch. He nodded at Carlisle, likely answering a silent question.

"I'll give you all some privacy," Esme said kindly as she began to walk away.

"No, please stay, Esme," I stopped her. "There's no privacy in this family anyway."

I immediately regretted saying that. "I'm sorry, I just meant…"

"It's okay, dear. I know what you meant. You really don't mind?" she asked.

"Of course not," I assured her. "Edward?"

"I don't mind," he said. I glanced over at him. The anxiety was plain on his face.

Carlisle sat down across from us and smiled warmly at me. "I must say, I am surprised that you're ready to talk about this so quickly, Bella."

I blushed. "Edward made a very convincing argument," I said sheepishly. "I was shocked, of course. But I'm ready to find out more."

He nodded and smiled. "I'm so happy to hear that. What has Edward told you so far?"

"Not much," I responded. "He just said that it might be possible."

"It is possible. It is most definitely possible," he assured us. Edward let out a deep breath and smiled widely.

"Good, because I'd be really pissed if he got my hopes up for nothing," I blurted out, then flushed crimson.

They all laughed.

Still smiling, Carlisle started to speak, "Okay, I'm just going to jump right in then. I've been researching this for several months and I've finally gotten some real answers. I won't get into all of the mechanics right this minute, but I want you to know that there are a number of steps that will have to be taken once you're ready to start trying."

Once again, my whole body flushed. Talking about making a baby with my future in-laws was so embarrassing. Edward let go of my hand and he put his arm around me, comforting me.

"Go on," Edward said.

"Well, step one," Carlisle began. "You'll have to change your diet."

"Oh, I can do that. What do I need to do? Add more protein or more dairy or something?" I asked eagerly, leaning forward on the sofa.

Edward winced like he was in pain and his brow furrowed like it always did when he was stressed. Obviously he had read Carlisle's mind and he did not like what he heard.

Carlisle smiled gently at me. "That certainly couldn't hurt, but I wasn't referring to you, Bella. Edward will need to change his diet."

I was confused and clearly the look on my face indicated that.

"Carlisle, it's just so risky. It could be disastrous," Edward whispered.

"You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, son. You know that," Carlisle assured him.

"Can someone please explain to me what you mean?" I asked. My impatience was growing the longer they talked over me.

"Edward will need to replace the animal blood in his system with human blood," Carlisle explained.

"I guess that makes sense. Well, you could use donated blood, right? Carlisle, you could get it from the hospital, couldn't you? You wouldn't have to hurt anyone," I said turning to Edward.

Panic was evident on Edward's handsome face. He was talking to himself, muttering something too fast and too quiet for me to hear.

"Edward?" I asked, alarmed. "What is it?"

Edward finally looked at me. "It's not just any human's blood that I need. It has to come from a specific person."

_Wonderful…cryptic Edward is back_. "Well, whose then? Do we have to travel far to find this person or something?" I asked, feeling like I was missing the point.

"No, love. We don't have to travel anywhere. It's ironic in a way…" he trailed off. "It just figures," he mumbled.

My irritation was reaching new heights. "Whose blood do you need?" I demanded.

"Yours."

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

August 30, 2010


	5. Chapter 4

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers:** tg10781, wytchwm75 **and** Sscana**

**Chapter Four**

Edward

Carlisle sat down across from us and smiled warmly at Bella. "I must say, I am surprised that you're ready to talk about this so quickly, Bella."

Bella blushed just like I knew she would. "Edward made a very convincing argument," she said sheepishly. "I was shocked, of course. But, I'm ready to find out more."

_She is such an amazing girl. Edward is so lucky to have her. I never thought that I could be a grandmother. This is so wonderful._

Esme winked at me and I smiled at her in acknowledgment of her thoughts. She was absolutely right. I was incredibly lucky to have Bella.

Carlisle nodded at Bella and smiled. "I'm so happy to hear that. What has Edward told you so far?"

"Not much," she responded. "He just said that it might be possible."

"It is possible. It is most definitely possible," he assured us. _The data is quite solid. There have been two other cases in addition to the one Kachiri and Zafrina told you about, Edward. I feel confident that this can work out for you two._

_Yes!_ I let out a deep breath and smiled widely. It didn't seem to matter how long it had been since I'd needed to breathe to survive, the human instinct remained.

"Good, because I'd be really pissed if he got my hopes up for nothing," she blurted out, then flushed crimson.

We all couldn't help but laugh at her. She was right, of course. I should have made absolutely sure that it was really possible for us before telling her about it. But I couldn't have done that without finding out all of the information before her; she wouldn't have liked that either.

_Bella really is something. They look so happy. I hope I don't scare her too much with this… I hope Edward doesn't overreact…_

Carlisle's worried thoughts did not match the serene look on his face as he continued. "Okay, I'm just going to jump right in then. I've been researching this for several months and I've finally gotten some real answers. I won't get into all of the mechanics right this minute, but I want you to know that there are a number of steps that will have to be taken once you're ready to start trying."

Poor Bella looked so embarrassed. I had to admit I was slightly mortified as well. The fact that Carlisle and Esme weren't my biological parents had no effect on how awkward it was to discuss our sex life with them.

_The mechanics of making a baby! Ha! If Edward doesn't know how babies are made, then Bella is going to be pretty disappointed on their honeymoon. Don't worry, Eddie, we'll watch some porn and I can give you some pointers, too. I know how to rock my Rosie's world…_

Fucking Emmett. If I could only tune out his thoughts, I would like him so much more.

_I wish I could have a baby. I really hope Bella appreciates this opportunity. Emmett can be an immature oaf, but he would have been such a good dad… _

It was times like this that I really felt for Rosalie.

I put my arm around Bella and lightly squeezed her shoulder. "Go on," I said to my father.

"Well, step one," Carlisle began. "You'll have to change your diet." _You'll need human blood in your system, Edward. I know that is not what you want to hear, but it is absolutely essential._

"Oh, I can do that. What do I need to do? Add more protein or more dairy or something?" Bella asked eagerly. I was so happy to see how excited she actually was about this.

_I am so sorry, Son. It is Bella's blood that you need. That is the only way this will work._

My eyes flew up to meet Carlisle's. I knew that I should try to control my emotions better, but I couldn't help but wince when I heard that. Just the thought of it made my throat burn more than it had in a very long time.

I had wanted her blood so intensely when we'd first met, but now the idea of it was horrifying to me. Yet at the same time, I did want it still, and I felt completely disgusted with myself. _How can I be so in love with her, but still want to drink her blood? _I would never be able to reconcile that.

Carlisle smiled gently at Bella. "Well, that certainly couldn't hurt, but I wasn't referring to you, Bella. Edward will need to change his diet."

"Carlisle, it's just so risky. It could be disastrous," I whispered.

"You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, Son. You know that," Carlisle assured me. _I know that she hates needles, but you know that I will make it as painless as possible for her. _

"Can someone please explain to me what you mean?" Bella asked, the impatience bleeding into her voice. I knew how much she hated being left out of our conversations.

"Edward will need to replace the animal blood in his system with human blood," Carlisle explained. _If you're worried about having her around when you drink it, don't be. I know that you will be fine. But we will keep her away from you the first time, if it makes you feel better._

I looked pointedly at him. _The first time? How many times will I get to-fuck-have to drink her blood?_

"I guess that makes sense. Well, you could use donated blood, right? Carlisle, you could get it from the hospital, couldn't you? You wouldn't have to hurt anyone," Bella asked turning to me. She looked so hopeful.

I knew that the panic was evident on my face. "What if I get a taste and I can't stop? This is my worst fucking nightmare. I want to give this to her so badly. I want this so badly. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Thank goodness she couldn't hear my grumbling. It would terrify her to hear me sound so distraught.

"Edward?" Bella asked, sounding worried. "What is it?"

I finally looked over at her. "It's not just any human's blood that I need. It has to come from a specific person," I said, hoping that I didn't sound as vile to her as I sounded to myself.

Bella looked annoyed. She hated it so much when I was being evasive. I was just so scared to tell her.

"Well, whose then? Do we have to travel far to find this person or something?" she asked.

_I wish. I would travel anywhere in the world to avoid what I'm about to tell you._ "No, love. We don't have to travel anywhere. It's ironic in a way…" I trailed off. "It just figures."

Bella looked like she wanted to slap me. "Whose blood do you need?" she demanded.

_Please don't hate me for this. _"Yours," I stated.

I leaned forward and put my head in my hands. I was so ashamed. I couldn't believe that I actually had to tell my fiancée that I needed to drink her blood in order for us to conceive a child. I felt so deplorable. Sometimes I still wondered if Bella would see or hear something so awful that she'd run away screaming. If anything could do it, this could be it.

I glanced at Carlisle and he looked apprehensive. _Just give her a minute, Edward_.

Esme sat down on my other side and put her arm around my shoulder. _It will be okay, my sweet boy. I know it will. Have a little faith._

"Holy fucking shit, Rosie! Did you hear that?" I heard Emmett exclaim in the garage. "Edward must be losing his mind right now!"

"Yes, I heard it. I can hear just as well as you can," she responded gruffly. _Bella better not let this stop her. Does she even know how lucky she is?_

Bella still hadn't said a word and I was afraid to look at her. Her breathing was even and her heartbeat was steady, so at least she wasn't having a panic attack.

"Edward, are you okay?" she asked warily as she put her hand on my knee.

_Is Bella seriously asking me if I'm okay? What have I done to deserve such an amazing girl?_

I finally worked up the courage to look over at her and while she did look worried, I could tell that it was worry for me, not for herself. "Not really, no. I'm actually terrified that you're about to make a run for it. It would completely destroy me, but I wouldn't try to stop you-"

Bella shook her head and put her hand over my mouth to stop me. "If this is what we need to do, then this is what we'll do," she said resolutely. "Will you be able to handle it, Edward? I know it will be so difficult for you."

"You're worried about me?" I asked incredulously.

"Of course, I am. I hate to think about how uncomfortable you'll be," she told me sympathetically as she continued to rub my knee soothingly.

_Bella really is the most selfless creature. She loves him so much._

I looked over at Esme and she just shrugged. "It's true," she stated simply.

I jumped up and started pacing around the room. "Bella, why are you so God-damned calm right now? You should be the one flipping out here, not me!" I shouted.

Bella looked crestfallen.

_Rein it in, Edward. She does not deserve to be yelled at._

I quickly looked at my father apologetically, then at My Bella. She looked like she was about to cry. I fell to my knees in front of her on the couch and placed my hands gently on her legs. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm just scared. We'll make it work, okay?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded. Then she reached forward and placed one hand on my cheek while her other hand stroked my hair in an effort to comfort me. Bella knew just how to handle me. _Oh, how I love her._

"I'm sure that you both have questions," Carlisle began. "Do you want to continue this discussion now or would you like to take a little time to speak alone first?"

I looked up at Bella, indicating that she should answer.

"I do have a question," she said meekly. I returned to my seat next to her on the couch and grabbed her hand.

"Of course," Carlisle said.

"Will I be able to…um…_donate_ the blood for Edward?" she asked. "I mean, he won't have to…"

Just the idea that she had to ask that question made me feel utterly repulsed with what I was. I hung my head in shame.

"Yes, that is the plan. I would never suggest…well, the alternative," Carlisle told her. _I know that you would never want to drink directly from her, Edward. I have faith that you could do it without hurting her, but this way will be better for both of you._

"Okay, then. What else do we have to do?" Bella asked.

"I would like to get a pint of blood from you today, if you don't mind. I want to do some testing on it and I'll bank it for when you are ready," Carlisle explained. "And in a few weeks, I will get another pint as long as the tests come back the way that I expect they will."

Bella nodded, although it did not escape my attention just how pale she suddenly looked.

"And I will need a, erm, _sample_ from you as well, Edward. I do not believe that it will contain any venom, but I have to make absolutely certain," he said, his tone taking on that of a doctor rather than a father. He really was trying to defuse as much of the awkwardness as possible. "And then after your first dose, I will need another sample to test."

I grimaced, and then nodded. _Kill. Me. Now._

Unsurprisingly, I heard a loud crash from the garage followed by a booming guffaw from my brother. I could hear Emmett rolling around on the floor and laughing hysterically. "Oh my God, that is the funniest shit I have ever heard! Mr. Prim and Proper has to jerk off into a cup and hand it over to Carlisle! It just doesn't get any better than that!"

I heard Rosalie snicker quietly. Then she reprimanded him. "Knock it off, Emmett. Don't make it any worse for him. You know how he gets."

_I am so glad that Bella cannot hear him._

"Ignore him, Edward. I will deal with him later," Esme told me, sounding irritated.

"What's going on?" Bella asked, confused.

"Just Emmett being Emmett," I explained through clenched teeth.

"Okay, I am sure that you have questions as well, Edward," Carlisle continued, ignoring the idiot in the garage.

"Of course I do. After I…" I paused, trying to resolve this idea within myself. "After I drink it, what happens? What will it do to me?"

Bella squeezed my hand, again reassuring me.

"There are three cases that I have learned about. The common factor is that the male vampire fed from the human woman before having intercourse. If what I have gathered is accurate, and I have every reason to believe that it is, ingesting the woman's blood restarts the bodily functions in the man that make sperm production possible," he explained rather simply and clinically, likely for Bella's benefit.

"That's it?" Bella asked skeptically.

At the same time, I asked, "So any of our kind that feed from humans can procreate? I would think there would be much more than three known cases."

"Well, no. Bella, I don't want to frighten you or overwhelm you, but I should probably explain something to you. In so many ways, you really were made for Edward," Carlisle stated. "She is your singer," he said, looking to me.

I nodded. _Of course she is. This is making a little more sense now._

"What does that mean?" she asked nervously.

"Our kind call it _La Tua Cantante_, Italian for 'your singer.' It means that your blood appeals to him above all others. You already knew that, of course. But this bond is what will make conceiving a child possible. A male vampire can only conceive a child with his singer," he said. "I honestly thought that Edward was the only one to ever resist his singer, but I was mistaken. There are at least three others out there.

"Joham, the vampire in the story that Kachiri and Zafrina told you about, fed from and was _with_ many human women. Zafrina helped me track him down and I was able to speak with him. Joham was very honest and forthcoming with me. He did not explain why, but he did tell me that he preferred to be with human women. Changing the women would have lessened their appeal to him, so he used a knife to cut them in order to drink from them. The only one to get pregnant was Pire, and she was his singer." _He's willing to talk to you and Bella about this if you want, Son. _

"Wow," Bella breathed. She leaned her head on my shoulder and whispered, "We really do belong together. I never really had any doubt about that, but wow…just wow…"

I couldn't help but smile. She was right, as usual.

"Joham is still in South America. His son Nahuel was human until he was changed at the age of sixteen," Carlisle explained. "Joham left after his son was born but returned when Nahuel contracted a disease that would have been fatal to a human. He changed both Pire and Nahuel and they now live as a family."

"So our baby will be completely human?" Bella asked.

I smiled like a fool because she said 'our baby.'

_Edward, if you could only see how happy you look right now… I am so thrilled for the two of you._

I knew that if it were possible, happy tears would be rolling down Esme's cheeks right now.

"Yes, my dear," Carlisle grinned. "Our grandchild will be human," he said, turning to smile at Esme.

"Bella wants us to have a boy," I blurted out. _What the hell is wrong with me? I have no filter whatsoever anymore._

Esme giggled as Carlisle chuckled softly.

"That sounds absolutely wonderful," he said cheerfully. "I would love to have a grandson. I am quite certain that Charlie would as well."

"Maybe, but I'm pretty sure he's going to try to murder Edward when he finds out," Bella said with a laugh.

I couldn't let that thought ruin my good mood. Despite the embarrassing moments and the fact that I was going to have to do something I never thought I would do, this conversation had been amazing. I now knew that Bella and I could become parents after all, just like I'd dreamed. I looked over at a still smiling Bella and I felt content.

Bella 

I was completely lost in my own thoughts as the conversation continued around me.

_My blood. Edward needs my blood. I was made for him. I am the only one who can create a child with him. We really are made for each other. I am going to have a baby. I am going to have a baby with Edward. Edward and I are going to be parents. Why am I not scared? My fiancée needs to drink my blood to make this possible and I'm not afraid. Maybe I really am a freak._

"Bella, would you like to do this here or at the hospital?" Carlisle asked me. I definitely did not want to go to the hospital, but draining a pint of my blood in a house full of vampires did not sound like such a good idea to me. That was probably why Jasper wasn't here today.

I was sure that Edward could sense my hesitation. "If you want to stay here, the rest of us can leave for a while, love. I'll stay though, if you'd like. I'll hold your hand if you want."

That would be torture for him and I didn't think that I could ask him to stay. "No, that's okay. I wouldn't want to put you through that. We can go to the hospital, Carlisle."

"Bella, I'll be fine. You don't have to worry about me," Edward promised.

Carlisle nodded at me. He knew that Edward meant what he said and, of course, I had faith in him. I just hated to imagine how much pain it would cause him.

"Okay, if you're sure," I said to Edward, feeling quite unsure myself.

Edward stood up and took my hand. "That is not something you will ever have to worry about, Bella. Yes, your blood sings to me, but I will never, ever hurt you. I promise."

"I know that, baby," I said as I stood up on my toes to place a kiss on his perfect mouth. "I just don't want to you to be uncomfortable," I whispered against his lips.

"I'll be fine," he repeated, and then he kissed me back.

.

.

I was feeling rather faint after Carlisle took my blood. I kept my eyes closed most of the time. Edward was amazing. I knew that he was probably holding his breath, and every time I opened my eyes to sneak a peek at him, he looked perfectly at ease.

Esme returned shortly after we were finished, carrying bags of groceries. She insisted that I eat a sandwich and a few cookies, drink some juice and lay down on the couch for a while. She was taking such good care of me.

"You're a very good mother," I said to her.

Her face lit up and she smiled warmly at me. "Thank you, my dear. You will be, too," she said kindly.

My eyes filled with tears. "Do you really think so?" I asked, unconvinced. I thought about Renee, and although I loved her dearly, she wasn't much of a maternal role model.

"Of course, I do. Look how well you take care of Edward. He can be a big baby sometimes," she said with a grin.

Edward was sitting at the end of the couch with my feet on his lap. He just shook his head at Esme, that cute little boy smile I was hoping our son would inherit lighting up his face.

Suddenly Emmett came barreling into the room carrying a large box that looked like it was made to hold reams of paper. "Hey bro, I'm just going to put these magazines in your bathroom… you know… to help you out with your _sample,_" he said with an evil grin on his face.

"Emmett!" Esme yelled. "You are terrible! Knock that off right now! Don't embarrass them!" She shooed him from the room, following behind him, making her displeasure at his antics more than clear.

Edward looked murderous and I knew that he was using all of the self control he had not to jump up and strangle his brother.

I just couldn't help myself though. I burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. I couldn't catch my breath. Edward looked completely mortified, but I still couldn't stop laughing.

"I am so sorry," I finally managed, though I was still out of breath. "This is just all so bizarre."

"Finally, a normal reaction," Edward said. "This _is_ very strange, isn't it?" he asked, laughing quietly.

Then he pulled me into his lap. "And just so you know, I won't need those magazines, beautiful girl. I have you to think about."

I felt like my whole body was on fire, first with embarrassment and then with want. I couldn't believe that Edward was suddenly being so forward. I was surprised, yet thrilled, at how different he was acting. Who knew that talking about having a child would be such a turn on for him?

I turned so I was straddling him and I whispered, "You really shouldn't say things like that to me if you're making me wait until we're married. You drive me absolutely crazy."

He flashed me that sexy crooked smile. "I'm very sorry about that, love." He put his arms around me and rested them in the middle of my back.

Edward didn't sound the least bit sorry. _Well, if he's going to play this little game, I'm all in._

I pushed myself up onto my knees, leaning my chest forward so it was right in his face, and then sat back down on his lap. Then I did it again and again, bending down to kiss him in a different spot on his face each time. By the third time, I could feel how much my movements were affecting him. And if I sat on just the right spot… _Oh my God, that feels so good._ _I don't think I have ever felt this hot in my entire life._

"And you had the nerve to say that I was driving you crazy," he groaned.

"I'm very sorry about that, love," I mimicked as I kissed and licked his neck, just under his ear.

"You don't sound very sorry," he said huskily as his hands moved lower on my back.

"I'm not sorry," I moaned. "Not even a little bit." I then took his earlobe into my mouth like I had this morning and sucked hard.

Edward let out a deep breath and then a low growl. His hands moved even lower on my back until they landed right on my ass. Then he squeezed to keep me in place. _Holy fuck. I want him so bad. _I couldn't stop myself from attacking his lips. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth hungrily. I quickly pushed my tongue into his mouth and the moment I felt his tongue touch mine, my hips started to move of their own accord. It was like I had no control of my own movements.

Edward and I kissed with increasing passion for several minutes, but he eventually squeezed me tighter to stop me from moving against him the way that I was.

When I was almost out of breath, Edward eased back so our mouths were no longer touching. "I am feeling very fortunate that we are on my parents' sofa right now because if we were truly alone, I can't promise that I'd be able to stop myself," he said, sounding distressed.

_Oh my goodness! We are on his parents' couch in the middle of the day where anyone could walk in! Then again, it could be the middle of the night and anyone could walk in. He makes me stupid…makes me forget my surroundings. But mmmmm does it ever feel good._

I was still pressed tightly against him and I did not want to move. Ever. I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his, trying to calm myself down.

"I take it the baby talk went well," Alice said as she glided gracefully into the room.

"Like you don't know," Edward said in a strained voice. "Don't move," he mouthed to me. I nodded. I had the urge to burst into another fit of nervous laughter, but I was able to stop myself this time.

"Yeah Bella, don't move. Give Edward a moment to calm down," Alice giggled.

"Alice," I admonished. "I'm sure you know that Edward and I have been embarrassed enough today. Please, will you give us a break?"

Alice's tinkling laughter filled the room. "Yes, I know. I am terribly sorry." She sat down on the floor Indian style and smiled at us. "Soooooo…would you lovebirds like to know what I have seen?"

"I appreciate your giving me the choice," Edward said. Then he whispered in my ear, "She is reciting the Arabic alphabet backwards in her head right now so that I won't hear her thoughts if I don't want to."

I smiled. "You're a good sister, Alice. But I'm not sure if I want to know what you've seen…give me a hint first."

"Okay…hmmm…let's see," she began. "It's about clothing."

"Of course it is," I laughed. "Sure Alice, go on ahead and tell me."

Suddenly Edward's face broke out in the biggest, goofiest grin. "That is without a doubt the most beautiful thing I have seen in my entire existence."

"Alice! You promised he wouldn't see my wedding dress!" I exclaimed, horrified.

"Bella, don't be ridiculous. It is not your wedding dress," Alice scolded me. "Do you want me to tell you?"

Edward's little, actually huge, problem had finally calmed down, so I got up off the couch and plopped down in front of Alice. "Yes. Tell me. I hate being the only one left out all the damn time," I grumbled.

She giggled. "It's you and Edward," she began, grinning like a fool.

"And…?" I pressed.

"It's Christmas," she continued.

"Okay…" I said, willing her with my mind to get on with it.

"You're wearing a green dress," Alice said, still smiling like the cat that ate the canary. "Ugh, you're wearing sneakers with it, but we can talk about that later. Maybe ballet flats would work…you could just slip them on and still be comfortable, and-"

"Spit it out, Alice!" I exclaimed impatiently.

"It's a maternity dress, Bella!" she shouted happily. "Your belly is out to here," she said, holding her hands several inches in front of her stomach.

Then she jumped up, did a flip over my head, landed on her feet and danced out of the room.

I sat there completely frozen. _Wow. It is really going to happen._

I turned to look at Edward and he was still sitting on the couch, smiling away.

His eyes met mine and he quickly got up and sat down on his knees in front of me. "I saw it, Bella. I saw it in her mind. Oh my God, baby, you looked so beautiful." His voice cracked with emotion.

I burst into tears.

"Oh, love, what's wrong?" Edward asked as he pulled me into his arms.

"It's really going to happen, Edward," I managed to say through my tears. "I just can't believe it."

"Are you happy?" he asked.

"Yes," I assured him. "It's just overwhelming." Then I thought about Christmas and the timing of it all.

Edward must have been thinking the same thing because he said, "If Alice is right, and she usually is, it sounds like we're going to have a honeymoon baby."

"Is that okay with you?" I asked. I wanted it to happen as soon as possible. I wanted my transformation to happen before I turned twenty which would mean we'd have to have the baby right away.

"Is it okay with _you_?" he countered.

"This has all happened so fast, and we haven't had a chance to talk about everything yet. Edward, you know I still want to be changed, right?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes, I figured you hadn't changed your mind about that," he responded, resigned.

"And I still want it to happen soon. So, I want to have the baby right away. Then I want you to change me," I said with confidence.

"You do realize we will be vampires with a human child," he said warily. "I feel like a complete fool right now. Have we not though this through?"

"Are you worried about me being a newborn vampire with a newborn baby?" I asked, then realized how utterly ridiculous that sounded. I started laughing again. "Oh my God, Edward. My life is so strange. I love it!"

"Bella, I think you have finally lost your mind," he said with a chuckle. "But yes, I am a little worried about that."

"I'm not. I already love him. I would never hurt him no matter what," I said with absolute certainty.

Edward looked at me carefully, and then smiled. "And what if we have a girl?"

"I would love her just the same. But I know that we're going to have a boy," I stated.

"Oh, do you really? Are you turning into Alice on me now?" he asked sounding amused.

"Call it mother's intuition," I said. "I just know."

"Okay, little Mommy," Edward said with a smile. "Let's get you home. You told Charlie you'd make his favorite dinner and I'd really like to try to keep him as happy as possible for the next few months."

I stood up and took Edward's outstretched hand. "Do you think we should tell him we're thinking about this? Maybe lay the groundwork a little bit so he isn't so shocked?" I asked.

Edward looked thoughtful. "I think a surprise honeymoon baby is the way to go. If we tell him we're thinking about it, I think he may try to lock you in your room until you're thirty."

I nodded. "You're probably right."

On the way to my house, Edward was suddenly quiet and sullen. "What's wrong?" I asked him.

"It just occurred to me that after my first, um, _dose_…" he began, then paused for a long moment. "My eyes are going to turn red."

_Shit. I'd never even thought of that._

"Just for a little while though, right?" I asked, worried about the wedding. _Edward suddenly having red eyes would be fun to explain to our family and friends. "Well, you see, Mom, Edward is actually a vampire so…" _

"Yes, and I can wear contacts around other people until my eyes look more normal again. I just never thought I would ever have red eyes again. I didn't want you to ever see me like that," he said sadly.

"My eyes will be red for quite a while after I'm changed, right? Will you be okay with that?" I asked.

"Of course, I will. I will miss your gorgeous brown eyes though. I hope our baby has your eyes," he said dreamily.

I once again closed the eyes that he loved so much and pictured our little boy. "He will."

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

September 7, 2010


	6. Chapter 5

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers:** tg10781, wytchwm75 **and** Sscana**

**Chapter Five**

Edward

I left Bella at her house with a kiss and a promise to return before she went to sleep. It was growing more and more difficult to keep our kisses chaste. Since discussing having a child, my self-control had almost entirely collapsed. I couldn't believe how far I'd let it get on the sofa earlier. I had been just seconds away from lowering her down and climbing on top of her. Thankfully, I stopped myself in time before I had allowed my _lower brain_ to take over my decision making process.

Feeling Bella move on my lap like that had been one of my fantasies come to life. I could smell her arousal and could feel the heat through her jeans and I'd thought I was going to lose my mind right then and there. She had no idea, of course, but I had pictured her like that more times than I could even count. I hadn't been lying when I'd told her that I didn't need the magazines that Emmett had so_ generously_ offered me.

Ugh, Emmett. I had wanted to kick his ass so badly earlier. I was already dreading the day when Bella would be able to hear him from afar like the rest of us could. I know that she will be completely mortified when she hears just how crass he can really be. Then again, she will be stronger than he is when she's first changed. _I am going to love watching her kick the shit out of him when he inevitably makes jokes about our sex life._

As I approached the house, I was very surprised at how quiet it was. I could hear only Carlisle's thoughts as I drove up.

_Bella's blood looks perfect. Red and white blood cells, platelets, hemoglobin, hematocrit, sodium and potassium are all in the normal range._

_Now, I just need Edward's first sample. My poor boy looked absolutely mortified when I told him that I would need more than one sample. It really shouldn't be such an issue though. It's not as if we don't know what goes on in his shower when he returns from Bella's each morning. Oh no, that's his car pulling up out front. He can hear me. I'm sorry, Edward. I know that you have been embarrassed enough today._

I sighed heavily. Of course I had realized that they could hear me. Still, being reminded of it was humiliating. However, I knew that it was completely worth any amount of embarrassment that I would have to endure.

The vision that I had seen in Alice's mind of a pregnant Bella completely blew me away. Her face had glowed and she had looked so happy. I had rested my hand on her swollen stomach and she had smiled adoringly at me. I couldn't wait to make that picture a reality.

Carlisle greeted me at the door with a guilty look on his face. "I am very sorry that you heard that. I didn't mean to make things any more uncomfortable for you," he said sheepishly.

"It's fine," I assured him. "So, Bella's blood looks good?"

"Yes, it does. Absolutely perfect," he said with a smile. "As long as your body reacts to it as expected, I don't think you two will have any problems conceiving. I know from Bella's chart at the hospital that all of her physical examinations are up to date and everything was normal at her last check-up."

"That's great," I said. "Well, I suppose I should, erm, get you that sample." _And after that, I want to crawl into a fucking hole and never come out._

"Don't be embarrassed, Edward. I left a cup on the counter in your bathroom. Esme is in Port Angeles looking at flowers for the wedding and she'll be gone until late this evening. I am going out for about an hour, so just leave it on my desk and I'll test it as soon as I get back," he told me. "I know you think that this is going to be very difficult for you, but I will need to test another sample after your first dose. We really should do that as soon as possible. We'll need to make sure that your body is indeed producing-"

"Okay, I get it," I cut him off. "I've been to medical school, too."

"Right, of course," he replied and turned to walk away. He stopped and looked back at me. "I am so incredibly happy for you, Son. I truly think that you will be a wonderful father," he said proudly.

"I hope so. I've had an excellent role model," I replied appreciatively.

Carlisle nodded and smiled. "Thank you, Edward."

As promised, on my bathroom counter I found a sterile catch cup still in its plastic wrapping. I also found an envelope with my name written on it in Rosalie's handwriting.

_Oh, this ought to be good. _I opened the envelope and was completely shocked with what I found.

**Edward, **

**I am very sorry about the way that Emmett acted earlier. You know that he's a big kid sometimes and he just can't seem to stop himself from acting like an ass. Em is sorry, too. He really didn't mean to make that conversation more awkward and uncomfortable for you than it already was. **

**Esme totally reamed him out for it, so I doubt he'll pull a stunt like that again. Oh, who am I kidding? We all know that he will.**

**Despite his behavior today, Em really is very happy for you. We all are. **

**Jasper, Alice, Emmett and I are going hunting up in Canada for a few days. We wanted to give you some privacy to…well…you know. **

**I'm not a miracle worker, but I will do my very best to keep Emmett from harassing you too much when we get back. **

**Also, Jasper didn't want you to worry about how he'd feel when you have to drink the blood. I know it's going to be difficult enough for you as it is. Alice has assured me that everything will be fine, but I didn't need her to tell me that. I have faith in you.**

**I'm sure that you don't need me to remind you of this, but all of this is totally worth it. You have an amazing opportunity here and I know that you must be very grateful. **

**See you soon,**

**Rose**

**P.S. I truly believe that you and Bella will be excellent parents and I'm really looking forward to being an aunt. Shut up asshole, I can be nice sometimes.**

_Well, that was unexpected. _Of course,I did know that Rosalie could be nice sometimes. It was just so rarely directed at me. Her note was very kind and I was touched. However, as much as I appreciated the sentiment, Rose was the last thing I needed to be thinking about right now.

I stripped off my pants, grabbed the cup and let my mind wander until it was flooded with images of Bella. Picturing my beautiful girl helped me fill that cup within minutes.

When Carlisle returned, he ran his tests and assured me that it contained no venom. I planned to drink my first dose of Bella's blood the next day and provide another sample to make sure that my body responded as we hoped it would.

For the first time in a long time, I closed my eyes and I silently prayed. I was not as certain as Bella was that anyone could hear me, but in case she was right, I wanted all of the help that we could get.

_Please, please allow Bella and me to have our child. I love her so much and she already loves the little boy that she's convinced we are going to have. For my own sake, I truly don't care if it's a boy or girl. I just want us to create a family. _

Bella

As soon as Edward had dropped me off, I got to work making Grandma Swan's recipe for Beef Stroganoff. I knew that it would make Charlie happy and, truthfully, I enjoyed cooking for him and it was something that I'd really miss. But, now that I was going to wait on being changed, we wouldn't have to move away as soon as we had planned.

Edward and I still had a lot of things to discuss. Charlie believed that we were leaving for Dartmouth right after returning from our honeymoon. I just couldn't imagine being pregnant and having my baby and not being close to home. I wanted my dad to see our little boy, even if we would have to move away not long after he was born. And maybe we'd find a way to be able to visit my father so he could see the little guy every once in a while.

"It smells good in here," Charlie said as he entered the kitchen. "So, you really are making Beef Stroganoff, huh? Are you sure you're not trying to butter me up for something, Bells?"

I laughed. "No, Dad. I just like to cook for you. Plus, I'm moving out soon, and I'm going to miss you."

Charlie smiled, but then his smile faded. "I'm going to miss you, too, kid." That was apparently all of the emotional conversation that he could handle, because he grabbed a beer out of the fridge and parked himself in his favorite chair in front of the TV.

"I'll call you when it's ready," I said.

"Yeah, thanks Bells," he called from the living room.

Dinner, like usual, was a fairly quiet affair. When we were almost done eating, Charlie asked, "Did you know that Jake is bringing a date to the wedding? It sounds like he's finally over his little crush on you."

"Oh, that's really great news. I'm happy for him," I replied. Jake and I had remained on friendly terms after Edward had returned, but we didn't spend much time together anymore. I thought back on the first time I saw Jacob after he had saved my life.

_My recovery was slow, and like she had last spring after James attacked me, Alice spent a lot of time at the house to help me since I couldn't move around too well on my own. Edward spent as much time with me during the day as Charlie would allow. And, of course, he spent every night with me, unbeknownst to my father._

_A few days after I was released from the hospital, Alice and Edward were hanging out in my room with me, trying to keep me entertained since I was bedridden._

"_Oh my goodness, what is that awful odor?" Alice asked, scrunching up her nose. "Edward, do you smell that?"_

_Edward nodded. "Jacob just arrived. He is contemplating whether or not he wants to come inside."_

"_Well, that explains why I have such a headache and the immediate future has disappeared," she replied, annoyed._

_About five minutes later, I heard my father and Jacob come up the stairs and pause outside my door._

"_Alice and Edward are here," Charlie told Jake._

"_Oh, okay, well maybe I should come back another time then," Jacob said. The reluctant tone in his voice was obvious even through the closed door._

"_Don't bother. He's always here," my father said gruffly. Edward shook his head while I rolled my eyes. I knew that Charlie still held a grudge against Edward because of the way I had behaved while he was gone. I essentially had been a zombie and my poor father had hated seeing me that way. _

_Charlie knocked as he opened the door and poked his head in. "Bells, you have a visitor."_

_Jacob stepped into the doorway and I could feel the tension level rise in the room._

"_Hey Charlie, how about I make you some lunch?" Alice offered, hopping off the bed. Charlie smiled and nodded. He adored Alice._

_Alice and Charlie left the three of us alone. Jacob stood in the doorway while Edward remained sitting at the foot of my bed._

"_Hi Jake," I said after a long minute. I just couldn't take the awkward silence for another second._

"_Hey Bells, how are you feeling?" he asked nervously. He finally stepped into the room and shut the door._

"_I'm okay. Ya know, as okay as I can be after running away from two sadistic vampires bent on killing me, a pack of gigantic wolves and, of course, almost drowning," I said cheerfully._

_Jacob chuckled. "Yeah, that's not exactly how I planned on you finding out. Actually, I never thought that you would find out. I'm really sorry, Bells. I can only imagine how much it must have scared you to see me phase like that."_

"_Jake, please don't apologize. You saved my life," I told him sincerely. _

_Edward stood up and extended his hand to Jacob. "I realize that we are natural enemies and I know how much you hate me, but I will always be grateful to you for saving her life. And thank you for taking care of Laurent and Victoria. I just never imagined that they would ever come back for her…" his voice trailed off._

_Jacob looked completely shocked, but he did shake Edward's hand. "Yeah, well, we didn't really have a choice. They would have killed her. Bella is my friend and I will always protect her." _

_Edward nodded in understanding._

_Jake stepped away from Edward and came closer to my bed. "I'm really glad you're okay, Bella. I just wanted to check and see for myself, but I'm going to get going now. I hope you'll be up and around soon."_

_I reached out my hand to him and he took it gingerly. "Jacob, thank you so much. You've been a really good friend to me. I truly appreciate it," I told him as tears started to sting my eyes._

"_Aw, don't get all mushy on me, Bells," he smiled. "I'll see you soon, okay?" Jacob squeezed my hand reassuringly, nodded in Edward's direction and left the room. _

"_He really does love you," Edward said once we were alone. He sat next to me on my bed and I rested my head on his shoulder. "He's not too thrilled that we're back together, but he just wants you to be happy."_

_I felt bad for Jake, but there really was no choice to be made. Jacob was my friend. Edward was my soul mate. _

"_Seeing you in his head, the way you looked while we were apart…" he said with a shudder. "I am still so utterly disgusted with myself."_

"_Baby, please stop beating yourself up," I begged him. "We just need to move forward together."_

"_Baby?" he asked, clearly surprised, though a huge smile lit up his gorgeous face._

_I blushed. I had never called him that, or any other term of endearment before. I didn't know where it came from, but it just somehow felt natural to call him that. "Oh, um, yeah, I don't know why I said that. It just came out."_

"_I liked it," he assured me as he turned to kiss my temple. "I liked it very much."_

"Earth to Bella. Come in, Bella," Charlie's voice brought me back to the present.

"Sorry, Dad, I was daydreaming," I told him, shaking my head to clear the memory. "So, who is Jacob dating?"

"Leah Clearwater. Apparently she and Jake have been spending a lot of time together. I'm kind of surprised actually. Leah never seemed to like Jake too much," Charlie mused.

"Jeez, Dad, you and Billy gossip more than little old women," I laughed.

Charlie blushed. "Oh, actually it wasn't Billy who told me," he said, the tips of his ears turning pink. "Sue told me when she brought me lunch down at the station today."

_Aw, it looks like my dad and Sue are crushing on each other. How cute! _"That's great, Dad. Maybe Sue could be _your_ date to the wedding," I suggested.

"You wouldn't mind?" he asked nervously.

"Of course not," I answered quickly. "I really like Sue. She's nice. And she's very pretty."

Charlie smiled, but he still looked anxious. "Oh, well, good. Maybe I'll ask her then."

"I really think that you should," I reaffirmed.

He just smiled and nodded. "Thanks for cooking this tonight. It was really good. It's not going to be the same around here once you move out."

"Who knows, maybe Sue will cook for you," I suggested with a wink.

Charlie blushed again. It was definitely a Swan family trait that my child would inevitably inherit. "Yeah, maybe," he mumbled. "So, where is Edward tonight? Weren't you two supposed to go car shopping today?"

My beloved old truck had finally died and I had begrudgingly agreed to let Edward buy me a new car. It made him so happy to give me things, so I eventually caved in. Since the path of my life had done a complete one-eighty since yesterday, car shopping had been forgotten.

"Oh, he's just hanging out with his family tonight, too. We'll go look at cars in a few days," I replied.

"What kind of car are you thinking of getting? Your future husband," he practically choked on the word _husband_, "has all of that trust fund money burning a hole in his pocket, huh?" Charlie thought that Edward had inherited money from his biological parents and had gained access to it when he turned eighteen. It was easier to let him believe that than to attempt to explain any part of the reality.

I wanted a simple, small vehicle that wouldn't cost too much in gas money. Edward had immediately vetoed that idea and insisted that I get an SUV with as many airbags as they offered. _An SUV is a family vehicle. Damn, that sneaky vampire, he had this planned all along. _

"I just want a small car, something with good gas mileage, but Edward thinks I should get an SUV. You know the safest vehicle possible. I think he'd be happiest if I drove a tank," I answered with a laugh. "I think I'd like a Jeep Cherokee or something, but I really don't know much about cars."

Charlie nodded. "That sounds nice." He stood up and brought his plate to the sink. "There's a game on, but we could watch a movie or something instead if you want?" he offered with obvious reluctance in his voice.

"It's okay, Dad. Go and watch your game; I'll be there in a minute," I told him.

To my surprise, he bent down and kissed my head before trudging off to the living room. _Aw, Dad. I'm going to miss you, too._

Charlie and I watched the Red Sox beat the Mariners, and I laughed when he yelled at the TV. Never in a million years did I think that watching sports on TV with my dad would be something I would actually be sad about not doing anymore. With the wedding coming up so soon and the prospect of becoming a parent myself, I was starting to feel very nostalgic. While Charlie watched the post-game whatever it was, I kissed his cheek and wished him good night.

When I got up to my room, I was so glad to see that Edward was already there waiting for me. We'd only spent a few hours apart, but I had missed him.

"Hello, beautiful girl," he greeted me.

I couldn't help myself. I jumped up and threw my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

"Miss me?" he chuckled as he caught me, holding me tightly to him.

"Always," I mumbled into his neck before I turned my face so that we were nose to nose.

"I missed you, too, love," he said as he began to kiss me.

We kissed for several minutes, but eventually he carefully set me down on my feet and sat down on my bed. When I glanced over at him, he looked lost in thought.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm just feeling a little anxious about tomorrow. I know that it's necessary, but I just can't believe that I'm actually going to drink…" he paused, "Your blood," he whispered so quietly I almost couldn't hear him.

"Will it be difficult for you to be around me afterwards?" I asked, concerned.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose; his tell-tale sign for immense anxiety. "I really don't know. It may be. But you don't have to worry. I can't handle spending time away from you, so I'll just have to deal with it."

"Baby, if you need to spend a few days away from me-" I began, although the idea of it was already devastating to me.

"No, Bella. Absolutely not. I can barely even stand to spend a few hours away from you," he said, sounding aggravated. "Plus, I'll have to drink it again right before we…" he paused and a smile broke out on his face. "Before we start trying."

My stomach began to flutter. _I can't wait to start trying!_

I leaned down to give him a quick kiss before I went to get ready for bed. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me in closer to him. "Don't worry," he whispered against my lips. "There is not a single thing in this world that could make me stay away from you ever again."

When I returned from the bathroom, Edward was laying on my bed, the picture of ease. At least he _was_ calm until he noticed what I was wearing. I had decided to forgo my normal sweats and t-shirt for a pair of shorts and a tank top. There was a slight chill in the air and my nipples were visibly hard through the thin material. Edward's eyes opened very wide and his gaze fixed upon my chest. He gulped as I sat down at the end of my bed next to him.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked coyly, trying desperately to keep the smirk out of my voice at his obvious discomfort.

Edward finally broke out of the nipple-induced fog he seemed to be in and shook his head. "No, everything's fine. Are you tired, love? You've had quite a day."

I smiled at him and nodded. "I am a little tired but more than that, my muscles are just so tense. Would you mind rubbing my neck?"

"Of course not, baby. Come here," he said. I scooted toward him and sat between his legs, my back to his chest. He began to gently rub my neck.

"That feels really good," I told him. "Could you do it a little harder?"

"Oh, sweet Jesus," Edward whispered. He rubbed my neck a bit harder and I couldn't stop myself from moaning in appreciation.

Before my brain even registered making the decision to do so, I reached behind me, pulled his hands from my shoulders and placed them on my breasts.

"Holy shit, Bella," Edward said, stunned. His body tensed, but he did not move his hands away.

"Your hands just feel so good on me, baby. Please?" I whimpered.

I moved my hands on top of his and my nipples grew impossibly harder under his cold touch. Edward leaned down and kissed my neck as our hands massaged my breasts.

"Mmmmm," Edward breathed in my ear. "I love you, Bella. I love you so much. My God, what are you doing to me?" he asked as he lightly pinched my nipples.

_Holy shit! What am I doing to him? I may have started this, but oh God, is he doing a great job of finishing… _I had never felt anything so amazing in my entire life. I pressed my back further into his chest and felt him grow hard against my lower back. I removed my hands from on top of his, dug my fingers into his legs and tried to remember how to breathe, while his fingers continued their fine, fine work.

"You are making this very hard for me, Bella," Edward whispered. His cool breath in my ear made the butterflies in my stomach go wild.

"I know, I can feel," I responded, grinding my ass against him. Edward's hands stopped moving and he leaned back, away from me. _Shit, I took it too far._

"Edward, we are so close to our wedding night. There's nothing wrong with a little practice," I said, turning to look at him. "I know how afraid you are of losing control and hurting me, but baby, you haven't hurt me at all. I know that you'd never hurt me. You make me feel really, really good."

He looked so conflicted, but he nodded. "You make me feel good, too, love. I just can't… I shouldn't…"

"I know," I breathed. "You're such a gentleman. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am that you are so sweet and kind to me."

He pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. "I am the lucky one, Bella. I know that it's okay to touch you. And believe me, I want to. All the time. But my self-control isn't as strong as you think it is, my love."

"I'm so sorry I pushed you," I whispered.

"Don't be. It's not as if I didn't enjoy myself," he chuckled. "Why don't you try to sleep?" He began to hum my lullaby.

Hearing that always made me feel so sleepy. I buried my face into his chest and closed my eyes. "I love you. I love you so much, Edward," I mumbled.

"I love you, my angel," was the last thing I heard before drifting off to sleep in the arms of the love of my existence.

Edward

The night before had been absolutely exhilarating. Finally being able to touch Bella in a way I had wanted to was life-altering. I wasn't sure if I would be able to keep my hands off of her now. My self-control was balancing on the point of a knife. Our wedding night couldn't get here quickly enough.

I wanted to get _this_ part of our journey over with as soon as possible, so I left Bella's before she woke up. I wrote her a note and promised to call her as soon as I was done. It was most definitely a cowardly move on my part, but I just couldn't bear to see the worried look on her face as she sent me off to drink her blood. _God, that sounds so fucking sick. I am so depraved. How can she even love me?_

My phone rang and I knew, without even looking at the caller ID, who it was.

"Alice," I answered tersely.

"Edward, will you please stop doubting yourself? You will be absolutely fine. And you really have to stop doubting Bella's love for you. Do you know how pissed she would be if I told her?"

"You can't tell her!" I shouted.

"You're so whipped, Edward!" I heard Emmett yell in the background. "But that means you're definitely ready for marriage if you're slightly afraid of your woman."

"Ugh, he never shuts up. Edward, seriously, please quit worrying. I do not foresee any problems, okay? Just drink it, make sure that your little swimmers are working properly, which they will be, and then I can start buying Bella some maternity clothes. So many of my favorite designers have the most beautiful lines of maternity couture…" Alice continued to babble on about how fashionable maternity clothes were these days while I tuned her out.

_Ah, pregnant Bella. She will be so incredibly beautiful. And then there's the fun of trying to get her pregnant… I am such a horny bastard lately. Our wedding day could not get here soon enough._

"Edward, are you even listening to me? Never mind, I know that you're not. Stop worrying! Everything will be fine. Good bye," Alice said as she hung up on me.

When I arrived home, I refused to let myself panic. I had to drink Bella's blood. It would be delicious. It would be torture. But more than anything, it would be a difficult means to a wonderful end.

Bella's words from the day before became my mantra. _If this is what we need to do, then this is what we'll do. _

Alice must have called Carlisle to tell him that I was on my way home, because he was waiting for me in the garage. I could smell Bella's blood, but I continued to force myself to listen to her words in my mind in order to keep myself under control.

_We really do belong together._

_I want to have the baby right away._

_My baby… our little boy…_

_I already love him._

_I know that you'd never hurt me._

_I love you. I love you so much, Edward._

_If this is what we need to do, then this is what we'll do._

I would have to find the strength to do this. Bella had the courage to do this for me, so I had to find the courage to do this for her.

"According to my research, you will need only a half a pint per dose. Your body should react to it within two hours," Carlisle explained. "Are you ready?"

I nodded. He handed me the mug and before I even allowed myself to think about what I was doing, I put it to my lips, closed my eyes and I drank.

I had never tasted anything like it. It was warm. It was heavenly. It was the essence of My Bella; sweet, amazing, beautiful and absolutely divine.

I could have easily forgotten what I was doing and why and just let the bliss take over. But I didn't.

I remembered why I was doing this and that reason was far more important than the mind-blowing pleasure that Bella's blood injected into my body.

I finally opened my eyes and handed the empty mug to Carlisle. _You are in control, Son. You're not running, you're not panicking. Well done. _

"How do you feel?" he asked me.

_How do I feel? I feel calm. How can I feel so calm? The mere scent of her blood the first day I saw her nearly caused me to kill twenty people just to get a taste of it. Now I have tasted it, and I feel relaxed? How can that be? _"I think I'm okay?" I answered, unsure. "I'm not quite sure how I expected to feel. I thought I'd end up… I don't know… I thought maybe I'd have a fit and you'd have to restrain me or something."

_Joham was right. _"I knew that you would be fine, Edward. I didn't want to say anything, just in case, but Joham told me that you would actually feel quite serene after. He explained that when he found that Pire's blood was what he desired more than any other, he expected drinking from her would put him into more of a frenzy than ever before. Joham was shocked to find that it actually calmed him," Carlisle explained. _It's meant to be._

"That doesn't make any sense," I whispered. "It can't be so easy. I couldn't possibly be that lucky."

"Stop that, Edward," I heard Esme say from behind me. "Allow yourself to have some hope, some happiness. This was all meant to be."

Two hours and another humiliating sample later, Carlisle confirmed that it was, in fact, meant to be. My body had reacted exactly as we had hoped.

I picked up my phone to call Bella, so glad that she had allowed me to buy her a cell phone.

"Edward?" she answered, sounding groggy. "When did you leave?" Apparently she had just woken up and hadn't seen the note yet.

"I left a few hours ago. I'm sorry. I just had to get it over with and I was scared to death. I didn't need to be though, Bella. It worked!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, Edward," she said with a sniffle. "I am so happy. I've cried more happy tears in the last two days than I had in my whole life. So, you're okay? It didn't hurt? Your throat isn't burning just thinking about being near me again?"

"No, love. I feel great. Everything is wonderful," I assured her.

She sighed. "I love you. I didn't think that I could ever love you more, but I do."

"I feel the same way, Bella. I love you so much. I'll see you in a little while, okay?"

She agreed and I started to get myself ready to go and pick her up. I stared at my red eyes in the mirror while preparing to put my contact lenses in. I hated the red eyes, but I couldn't help but think that I was looking at the luckiest man in the world.

I placed the contacts in, and while they were not a perfect match to the color that my eyes usually were, I knew that no one would ever get close enough to notice.

As I was walking down the stairs, I heard a car turn onto our road and begin its approach up the long driveway. I should have been able to hear the driver's thoughts, but I couldn't. I could, however, get a sense of what was on his mind: he was overcome with feelings of awkwardness and hesitance. He didn't really want to come here, but felt he should do this because he loved his daughter.

Charlie Swan was about to arrive, and I had no idea why.

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

September 14, 2010


	7. Chapter 6

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers:** wytchwm75 **and** Sscana**

Author's Note: Some of you asked in your reviews for Chapter Five why Edward could not hear Charlie's thoughts. Before I wrote it, I went back and read the part in Midnight Sun where Charlie shows up after the van accident. Edward couldn't hear the actual words of his thoughts, he could just get a feel for what Charlie was thinking (the tenor of his thoughts was how SM described it). Hope that explains it. Plus I'm taking some liberties with it as well. :-)

**Chapter Six**

Edward

I stood motionless at the bottom of the stairs, contemplating what could possibly make Charlie Swan drop by unannounced. My mind was working overtime, but the only thing that I could come up with was that he was going to try to talk me out of going through with the wedding.

The doorbell rang and I could hear Chief Swan's heartbeat speed up from the other side of the door. He was growing increasingly nervous, and that, in turn, made me nervous. I hated not knowing exactly what he was thinking. _Ugh, what is it with the Swan family and their quiet minds? I wonder if that is something my child will inherit…_

Carlisle appeared at the top of the stairs and called down quietly, so only I could hear, "Who is here? Were you expecting someone, Edward?"

I shook my head. "It's Bella's father. And no, I most certainly was not expecting him."

"Well, are you planning to let him in?" Carlisle asked with a grin. _Relax, Edward. Charlie can't hurt you. _

I was sure that my father didn't intend for his thoughts to be so condescending, but that was how it felt to me. "Yes, of course, I am. I just need a moment," I replied tersely.

Carlisle chuckled softly and then returned to his office while I continued to stand there like a fool.

The doorbell chimed again.

I opened the door, and there stood Charlie, red-faced and shuffling his feet. He had a manila folder in his hand that he was tapping against his knee.

"Good morning, Chief Swan," I greeted him in the friendliest tone that I could muster. "Please, come on in."

"Edward," he replied as he stepped inside. "How are you this morning? I hope this isn't too early for you." I could tell that Charlie was feeling extremely awkward, but he had his stern _Cop face_ on. He was in full uniform and he angled his hip slightly, showcasing his gun belt.

"No Sir, it isn't too early at all. I'm an early riser," I said, trying to keep the nerves out of my voice, but my ears registered my failure.

We stood there by the door just looking at one another.

_Edward, where are your manners? Invite the man in and ask him if he would like to sit down._

What would I do without Esme? "Chief Swan, would you like to come in and sit down?" I asked, gesturing with my arm towards the living room.

Without a word, he walked past me and went to sit down on the sofa. I sat down across from him.

"Can I get you anything? We're not really coffee drinkers here, but we may have some that I could make for you if you'd like," I offered.

Charlie shook his head. "No, that's okay. I'm going to stop at the diner on my way back to the station."

I had to hand it to Charlie. He was quite skilled at the art of intimidation with the way he was staring me down.

I nodded, not sure if I should come right out and ask him why he was here, or if I should continue to wait him out.

"This is quite a house you've got here," Charlie commented, his eyes wandering around the room. "It'll be very nice to have the…" he paused to clear his throat, "to have the wedding here." His face grew impossibly redder. He shook his head and mumbled, "Still can't believe my little girl is getting married."

"Um, yes, thanks. Esme and Alice will make it very beautiful for the wedding. They are extremely excited to decorate," I said cautiously.

Again, he nodded. The hesitance that he was feeling was rolling off of him in waves, but I still could not get a clear sense of what he was thinking.

"So, you're probably wondering why I'm here," he began.

"Well, you're more than welcome to drop by anytime. But, yes, I am rather curious as to what brings you by this morning," I said carefully.

Charlie smiled and I couldn't help but notice how much Bella resembled him when he smiled like that. "Just consider it a friendly visit from the Chief of Police." He grinned conspiratorially.

He clearly expected me to be scared, so I decided to play the part. I sucked in a deep breath and fidgeted in my seat.

Charlie laughed and said, "Relax. It's nothing to worry about, Son. I just wanted to talk to you about the car that you're planning to buy for Bella."

"Oh," I replied, surprised.

He stood up and roughly shoved the folder he had been carrying into my hand. "Bella is a very smart girl, but she is pretty danged clueless when it comes to cars," he said with a laugh as he returned to his seat. "Now, I'm not saying she's a bad driver, but with her track record and bad luck, I don't blame you for wanting her to have an SUV instead of a smaller car. Why do you think I bought her that old truck? It was the safest thing possible for her."

I smiled, relieved. I took a look in the folder and found spec sheets for several different kinds of vehicles. I noticed that he had highlighted two in particular in yellow. Both were Hybrid SUVs; one was a Ford and the other a Lexus. _She'll want the less expensive Ford, but I'll talk her into the Lexus. In fact, maybe I won't even mention the Ford…_

"Bella told me last night that she really wanted a vehicle that was good on gas. I don't mean to get in your business, but I thought you might like my input a bit," he said hesitantly. "After all, I do have a few more years of driving experience under my belt than you do." He blushed again and his heartbeat picked up even more. "Now, I don't want to tell you how to spend your money, Edward, but I'd love to see Bella get something that she'd really like. I know she's going to be your wife and all, but she's still my little girl."

I could feel his sadness at the idea of losing her. "Of course, Sir. Thank you. I truly appreciate your input. Bella has been so reluctant to let me buy her a car, but I'm sure she'll be really happy with a Hybrid. I should have thought of it myself. So, really, thank you," I told him sincerely. _And kissing the Chief's ass a bit certainly can't hurt. _

It really was a very nice gesture though. I knew that the only computer in Bella's house was located in her bedroom, so he must have gotten up early to go down to the Police Station to print these out.

The tension disappeared from Charlie's face, but embarrassment quickly took its place. "Yeah, well, you're welcome."

I smiled. "I'm hoping to find something in Port Angeles, but we will probably have to go to Seattle, depending on what Bella decides she wants to get. You're more than welcome to join us," I offered. _Please say no. Please say no. Please say no._

I could tell that Charlie was touched by the invitation, but he said, "Thanks, kid." I wanted to laugh at the fact that he called me _kid_, but I held it together. "That's okay, though. I'm sure that you can handle it without me. Plus, I have a pretty busy schedule this week."

"Okay," I replied, trying not to sound too relieved.

It got quiet again and I wasn't sure if the conversation was over. Charlie fiddled with his collar nervously. "So, only three more weeks until you're a married man," he commented.

"Yeah, three weeks," I responded, unsure of where he was going with this.

"Do you think that you're ready? To be a husband, I mean?" he asked awkwardly.

"Yes, Sir. I am definitely ready. I've been waiting for Bella my whole life," I answered.

"All eighteen years," Charlie muttered sarcastically under his breath. I had no doubt that he had not intended for me to hear that.

Esme came to my rescue once again. She breezed into the room and exclaimed, "Chief Swan! What a pleasant surprise."

"Please, call me Charlie, Mrs. Cullen," he replied.

"Well then, I insist you call me Esme," she countered with a smile. "How are you today? Can I get you anything? Coffee? Water?"

"No, thank you, though. I was actually just leaving," Charlie said, standing up.

I stood up as well. "Thank you for stopping by, Chief Swan. I really do appreciate this," I said waving the folder in my hand.

He nodded, "Yup. No problem." Charlie began to walk towards the door, but then he stopped and turned around. "Oh, I almost forgot. Mrs. Cull- Uh, I mean Esme. Bella's mother is coming into town next week. She wanted you to have her cell phone number so you ladies could talk about wedding stuff before she arrives." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Esme.

Esme took it carefully, making sure not to touch his hand. "Thank you, Charlie. I'll be sure to call her today. Bella tells me that Renee is quite excited about the wedding."

"Yes, she certainly is," Charlie grumbled then he must have realized just how miserable he sounded. "Renee loves a good party," he said with a forced smile.

Esme laughed and said, "Don't we all?"

Charlie nodded, looking uncomfortable once again. "I'd better get going," he said as he continued to make his way towards the door.

"Sir?" I asked, as he was about to reach for the door knob.

He turned, "Yeah?"

"Did Bella know that you were planning to come by today?" I knew that she didn't, but I still had to ask. I also knew that he'd expect me to ask.

"No, actually she didn't," he responded, smirking at me, clearly proud of himself for keeping his plans to himself so she couldn't try to stop him.

"Is it a secret?" I asked. "I mean, I'd like to give credit where credit is due if she likes any of the vehicles that you've suggested." _Yes, more ass kissing. I am getting to be a pro at this point. _

"No big secret; you can tell her," he grinned. "But on the off chance that she thinks it's a terrible idea, you can go ahead and take the blame."

I chuckled nervously and nodded. I was still playing the part of the intimidated soon-to-be son-in-law.

Charlie saved me the awkwardness of having to shake his hand with my cold one by patting me on the shoulder as he walked out the door.

"You handled that very well," Esme commented. "And that was really very nice of Chief Swan to come over and offer his help."

"Yes, actually it was. That was definitely not what I expected when he showed up," I replied. "He still managed to get his digs in though."

Carlisle once again emerged from his office and joined us. "That is true, but this has to be very difficult for him. I think that he is handling it as best as he can."

I couldn't disagree. Charlie had come a long way since we'd announced our engagement, and for that, I was grateful.

When I picked Bella up twenty minutes later, I told her that we were heading to Seattle to finally go car shopping. She groaned and looked annoyed until I suggested that we look at Hybrids.

"A Hybrid? Edward, that's such a great idea!" she exclaimed. "We could still get all of the safety features that you're so obsessed with and I won't feel so bad about the effect on the environment. I mean, let's face it, I owe it to our planet after driving my truck for so long."

I smiled at her. It gave me so much joy to see her happy about me purchasing something for her.

"Oh, and before you get too proud of yourself, don't think I don't realize that an SUV is a family vehicle," Bella said with a grin. "It wasn't so long ago that you tried to convince me that a…what was it called…an Audi coupe would be the perfect car for me."

She had me there. I smiled back at her. "Well, at least I didn't suggest a mini-van."

Bella laughed. "Good thing."

"There are different makes and models, but I think you'd like the Lexus Hybrid," I said, _forgetting_ to mention the Ford option altogether.

She nodded with a suspicious glance at me. "I wouldn't mind test driving one." I handed her the spec sheet for the Lexus RX that Charlie had given me. I was very glad that the sheet did not include the price. "Wow, this looks really nice. I'm sure that its way too much money, of course, but it can't hurt to look."

"Your dad will be very pleased," I said, glancing over at her.

Bella looked confused. "My dad?"

"Yes, Charlie stopped by the house this morning. He told me about your conversation last night. He offered some suggestions because he wanted to make sure that you got a car that you'd actually like. He even printed that out and gave it to me" I explained, gesturing to the paper in her hand.

Bella's eyes welled up. "That was really sweet of him. He's a good dad," she whispered, wiping her eyes with her free hand. She looked out the window and tightened her grip on the hand that I was resting on her knee.

She took a deep breath and then the words tumbled out of her. "Edward, I don't want to move away after I get pregnant. I know that we'll have to leave before I'm changed, but I at least want Charlie to meet our child."

_Damn it, I should have considered that. _

"Okay, love. We'll figure it out. Maybe we can tell him we're taking a year off before we start college or something," I suggested.

Bella sniffled and nodded her head. "Yeah, I think that sounds good. I just can't imagine having the baby and my dad never seeing him," she said quietly. "I'm sure he's not going to be happy that we're starting a family right away, but I think he'd still like to meet his grandson."

I squeezed her hand. "Bella, I'm really sorry that I haven't planned this better. It's no excuse, but I just never dreamed that it would all happen so quickly. I will though, love; I'll figure it all out and everything will be just fine," I promised.

_Now, I just have to figure out how to make that promise come true._

Bella

"Are we almost there? I am so excited to see my mom!" I exclaimed to Edward on our way to the airport to pick up my mom and Phil. I was bouncing up and down in the passenger seat like an over-excited child. I wanted to be the one behind the wheel, but of course, Edward had insisted that he drive.

At least we were in my new car. I had ended up getting the Lexus after all. It was dark grey and just beautiful. I never imagined that I would be so nuts over a fancy car, but the second I had seen it, I couldn't wait to drive it home.

Edward had been absolutely ecstatic to see me so excited over something that he bought for me. He had reminded me yet again that I was almost a Cullen and that I should get used to him buying me extravagant things. And, he had been exceedingly careful to make sure that I never actually saw the price. I had been tempted to Google it several times, but I realized that I'd feel better in this situation if I was left in the dark.

When Charlie had seen that I had, in fact, gotten the vehicle that he'd suggested, he had looked so proud of himself. Then he had been embarrassed at how much I gushed over the fact that he had gone to Edward on my behalf. I couldn't help it though. It had been a big step for him. To me, it meant that he'd finally accepted that Edward and I were getting married. It gave me hope that he would take our baby news equally as well.

Edward smiled at me and held my hand as he drove. "I'm looking forward to seeing your mom, too; and Phil as well. I'm sure that Emmett and Jasper will love to talk baseball with him. And you know how much Alice and Esme are looking forward to having Renee here."

My mother had continued to surprise me with her excitement over the wedding. According to Alice, Renee had talked to Esme on the phone twice a day for the last week. I had a feeling that they were planning a bridal shower or bachelorette party for me, much to my dismay. I had tried to get Alice to tell me what they were up to, but she had refused and would only tell me how much I would love it. I doubted very much that I would, but I promised that I would try my best to play along.

"Are you absolutely sure that you don't know what Renee and Esme have up their sleeves?" I asked Edward for what had to be the tenth time.

"No, love," he assured me yet again. "I swear, Alice has been very careful not to let me see a thing."

"I'm sure whatever it is, it will be absolutely horrifying," I grumbled. "But I'll be good and let them have their fun."

"What's the worst that could happen? They buy you a bunch of lingerie for our honeymoon?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. "You certainly won't hear me complaining if they do."

I smiled, leaned over and kissed his cheek. I grinned as memories of the night before came flooding back. He had finally agreed that it was okay to _practice_ a bit before our wedding night. We had reached a point where he'd let me take his shirt off, but unfortunately he'd stop me whenever I'd try to remove mine.

"You shouldn't tease me like that," I whispered into his ear before I licked his neck and rubbed my hand further up his thigh.

Edward shuddered and gripped the steering wheel tighter. "_You _shouldn't tease _me _like that," he groaned. "Especially, right before we are about to see your mother."

"Sorry, baby. I just can't seem to help myself," I said with the kind of laugh that let him know I wasn't sorry in the least.

Edward shook his head and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

We finally arrived at the airport and pulled up outside the terminal. My mom was waiting on the sidewalk and she began waving her arms like a maniac as soon as she saw me. I jumped out of the car and ran into her open arms.

"Bella! I missed you so much!" she squealed. She hugged me so hard I almost couldn't breathe. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she'd been taking hugging lessons from Alice.

"I missed you, too, Mom. It's been way too long."

She finally released me and grabbed my left hand. "Let me see your ring!" She examined my engagement ring carefully then let out a low whistle. "Well, pictures just don't do it justice. This ring is absolutely gorgeous! Edward, you did good, kid," she said to Edward who had come to stand next to me.

"Thank you, Mrs. Dwyer," he said politely.

Renee threw her arms around Edward's waist to hug him. "Damn, boy. And I thought Phil had a hard body. You must work out a lot!" Then she ruffled his hair and said, "Okay, that's enough of the 'Mrs. Dwyer' business. Your only choices are Renee or Mom."

Edward looked completely mortified. I had been the only human to touch him in who knows how long and it had taken forever for him to get comfortable with that. He smiled warily and said, "Renee, I really can't take the credit. My great-grandfather chose that ring for my great-grandmother. But I'm very pleased that you like it."

Renee smiled at Edward adoringly before turning to look at me. "He's a keeper," she mouthed.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Where is Phil?" I asked when my mom finally let go of poor Edward.

"He's getting our luggage," she said, turning around. "Here he comes."

Phil was loaded up with bags, so Edward ran over to help him. We got everything into the car and we headed toward Forks.

"Edward, this is a beautiful vehicle," Phil commented from the back seat.

"Thank you, but actually, this is Bella's car," Edward replied. "It was kind of an early wedding gift for her."

"How very generous," Renee mused. "Bella, you're lucky that you've got your hooks into him. I bet you're glad to be locking him down for life now, huh?"

I was totally embarrassed, but Edward just squeezed my hand and smiled at me before glancing in the rearview mirror. "I assure you Renee, I am the lucky one." He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it tenderly.

My mother giggled like a little girl. "You kids are so adorable. Now, when do I get to meet Esme?"

"My mother figured that you'd be very tired after your long flight, but she would like you to come over to the house tomorrow after breakfast if that's okay," Edward said.

"I can't wait," Renee said, yawning. "I am pretty tired actually. Bella, do you mind if we just go to the Bed and Breakfast and go right to sleep? We can meet for breakfast tomorrow morning and then we'll head over to the Cullens."

"Sounds good to me, Mom." I had been looking forward to spending time with her, but she did look like she needed to sleep.

We dropped my mom and Phil off at the only place to stay in Forks then headed back to my house.

"Your mother is very proud of you for _landing a catch _like me," Edward chuckled.

"Oh, is she, really?" I laughed. "What else was on her mind?" I was enjoying this glimpse into my mom's thoughts. After all of those years wondering what could possibly be going on inside her head, I was finally getting some first-hand knowledge.

"She thinks that it's cute how we're always touching," he said, squeezing my knee. "And she thinks that it's beautiful how I look at you with such love and adoration."

Edward pulled up in front of my house at the perfect moment, because I couldn't keep from launching myself at him much longer. I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered, "I think it's beautiful, too. I don't tell you this enough, but you make me very happy. I love you so, so much."

"You tell me all the time, love. With every smile, every touch, every time your heart races when I come near you," he whispered back, moving my hair away from my neck. He placed an open mouth kiss just below my ear and I felt warmth spread from my head to my toes, my nipples hardened and my heartbeat picked up considerably. "God, I love how your body reacts to me. It's becoming so difficult to hold back, Bella."

I turned my face to look into his eyes. To my surprise, they were dark. "Edward, your eyes are dark. What happened to your contacts?"

"The venom dissolves them. I have to replace them every few hours. I guess I've managed to do that in the last week without you noticing," he explained. He looked over my head and into the rearview mirror. "They are dark. The red is gone." He smiled widely and then captured my lips. For the first time ever, he slid his tongue into my mouth before I could even try to do the same to him.

I had been leaning over the console, but that just was not close enough for me. I attempted to crawl into his lap without breaking contact with his glorious lips. But, of course, grace was not my strong suit. I hit the horn with my back and it startled me so much, I knocked my forehead into Edward's. Hard. It was like running head first into a brick wall.

_Son of a bitch, that hurt!_

"Ow," I whined. "That's gonna leave a mark."

"Shit, Bella. Are you okay?" Edward asked, panicked. He pressed his cool hand to my forehead. It felt good, so I put my hand over his to hold it in place.

"I'll be fine," I grumbled. "I just hope it doesn't leave a big, ugly bruise."

"My beautiful, fragile girl," he lamented. "I'll be waiting in your room with an ice-pack and some Tylenol."

Edward appeared at the passenger door to open it for me and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "See you in a little while," he whispered then disappeared.

"What the heck was all that racket?" Charlie asked from his perch in front of the TV as soon as I entered the living room.

"I accidentally hit the horn as I was getting out of the car," I mumbled.

Charlie laughed at my clumsiness. "So, how's your mom? I figured you'd still be with her. It's early."

"They were really tired after their flight so they're going to bed early. We're going to meet for breakfast," I explained. "Would you like to join us?"

He shook his head. "I'd like to, but I have a busy morning tomorrow."

"Okay, if you change your mind, just let me know," I said. "I'm going to turn in early, too. I have a headache."

"Are you alright?" he asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I just need some sleep. Good night, Dad." I patted his shoulder as I walked by him.

"Night, Bells."

I stopped in the bathroom to put on my pajamas and brush my teeth. It was quite warm, so I wore only a short-sleeved blue cotton nightgown. It went just past my knees, so it was nothing too risqué.

As promised, Edward was waiting in my bedroom with a bottle of Tylenol in one hand and an ice-pack in the other. He must have managed to sneak into the kitchen while I was standing only a few feet away talking with my dad and I hadn't heard a thing.

He sat on my bed with his back pressed against the headboard. "Come here," he ordered.

I grinned and winked at him. "You, in my bed, beckoning me…I promise you, I will never refuse." I said flirtatiously as I sat between his legs and rested against his chest.

"Behave," he warned. "I just want to hold this ice-pack on your head for a few minutes." He handed me two pills and a bottle of water. I sat up and took them dutifully, then relaxed against him once again.

"Fine," I grumbled as he pressed the ice-pack to my forehead. "I really won't miss this."

"Miss what?" he wondered.

"You, having to take care of me whenever I do something stupid and hurt myself," I murmured.

He laughed heartily. "Well, I must admit, I do look forward to a time when I won't have to worry so much about you getting injured. But honestly, love, I like to take care of you. That's one of the many things I'm really excited about," he said as he reached his free hand down to pat my stomach.

"Wow…there's going to be a baby in there," I said dumbly, as if the thought had just occurred to me. It wasn't that I hadn't realized it, of course, but feeling his hand there suddenly made it very real to me. I could literally be just weeks away from conceiving a child; Edward's and my child. _Whoa!_

I began to laugh. _This nervous laughter habit of mine is really getting out of hand._ "I'm going to get fat!" I whispered loudly, still laughing.

"You will be exceptionally beautiful," he argued. "And you will not be fat. You'll just be a little, um, rounder."

"Rounder? Oh, yeah, that sounds _much_ better than fat," I said, still giggling like a fool. "I had a neighbor in Phoenix; her name was Lucy. She watched me every day after school until Renee came home. When Lucy was pregnant, she was much more than _round. _She had a double chin, her fingers looked like sausages and her ankles disappeared."

I felt Edward shake with laughter, but he didn't make a sound.

"You think this is funny?" I said in mock horror, as I turned to face him. He tried to stop smiling, but he couldn't.

"I'm sorry, love. I truly don't mean to laugh. I am just so thrilled that we're even having this conversation. The idea of you, round, fat, or whatever you want to call it, with my child growing inside of you, is astonishing to me. And even if you gain a hundred pounds, you'll still be the most beautiful thing in my world," he said, leaning in to kiss me.

"You always know just what to say," I said against his lips. "My mom was right. You are a catch."

"Well, then I'm glad you caught me," he murmured as he tossed the ice-pack onto the floor. Then he flipped me over so I was on my back. He hovered over me and deepened our kiss, our tongues circling one another's. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he allowed me to pull him closer. I reached up my hands and curled them into fists in his soft hair.

I kept waiting for him to stop, to throw himself across the room, to scold me for getting carried away. But he didn't. Instead, he rolled onto his side, bringing me with him as he tugged my leg up over his hip. My nightgown had ridden up around my waist and I was very glad that I had chosen to wear a pair of sexy panties today. Alice had insisted that I buy several pairs on our last shopping trip. She probably knew that I'd need them for such an occasion. _Ugh, Alice is so not what I want to be thinking about right now._

"Oh, God, Bella," Edward whispered. I guessed he'd just caught a glimpse of my blue lace panties, which were now almost totally soaked. "You are so damn sexy. You have no idea what you do to me." His long, cool fingers trailed up my leg until he was cupping my ass firmly.

Our lips were close together, but not quite touching. I slid my tongue across his cool lips, tracing a path along the seam, begging to be allowed entrance. If I hadn't been quite sure what I was doing to him before, I certainly was now. Our bodies were perfectly aligned and I could feel e_verything. _

My hips moved without a conscious decision on my part. I was grateful that Edward always liked to change into sleep-pants when he spent the night with me, because the thin material allowed me to move against him now with little barrier. The delicious feeling was heightened by the matching movement of his hips against mine.

We moved against one another wordlessly and in perfect sync. It felt amazing…heavenly…other-worldly. Actually, I didn't think that there was a word in the English language that could truly describe the sensations that were coursing through my body.

My hands were still tangled in his hair and I was pulling so hard that I began to wonder if it was causing him pain. My fears disappeared when he ground himself harder against me and sucked my bottom lip between his teeth. I quickly pushed my tongue into his mouth and seconds later his tongue began to dance with mine once again.

I could not draw enough breath into my lungs. I was panting so incredibly hard that if I wasn't careful, I was going to hyperventilate. My toes tingled and I realized that my feet were beginning to go numb. The tingling feeling in my feet was quickly replaced with heat, and I felt it from my top of my head to my tips of my toes.

"Bella," Edward moaned into my mouth.

"Oh God, baby. It feels so good. Please, please don't stop," I whimpered against his lips. "I think…I think I'm…"

_How do I tell him that I think I'm about to have my first orgasm and if he stops moving I might die?_

"I know, love." He sighed as he pulled his mouth away from mine. He kissed my cheek, my jaw, my neck and then finally his lips touched my ear. "You're so beautiful, so amazing. I can't believe I'm making you feel like this."

His cool breath in my ear and his silky voice sent me right over the edge. If I thought I that had no control of my movements before, it was nothing compared to this. The sensations that had been building within me exploded and I felt like I was falling.

I could not keep my hips still; they rotated against Edward's in a passionate rhythm over which I had no control. My heart was beating so fast that I could hear it in my own ears. My hands clenched then relaxed then clenched again, all while pulling at Edward's hair. If he were human, I'd probably have torn it out in clumps.

The waves of pleasure that rippled through my body were indescribable. Honestly, there were no words to explain how I was feeling. I was making noises that I didn't recognize. I was moaning and groaning and whimpering and chanting Edward's name all at the same time. He actually had to shush me because I was being far too loud.

This remarkable feeling ended all too quickly. I felt like my bones were made of jelly. I went limp and Edward squeezed my ass harder than he had been before. I was so overcome with the emotions that were threatening to burst out of me that I molded my lips to his once again. I felt like I had to somehow thank him for giving me the greatest pleasure I'd ever known.

I kissed him hungrily and loosened my grip on his hair so that I was now stroking it softly. My lower body had finally calmed, but Edward's body had not yet stilled. He continued to grind against me for a few more moments. Finally, his entire body shuddered violently and then he completely froze. His lips were moving, but I couldn't make out what he was saying.

_Did he… I think he did. Oh. My. God._

I pulled my face away from his and looked at him. He looked bewildered, yet joyful. His gorgeous face made the butterflies in my stomach go wild yet again.

"Edward. Wow," I breathed. "That was amazing…more than amazing…"

"There are no words," he replied breathlessly. He pressed his forehead to mine and let out a shaky breath. "I can't believe that I…"

He shifted away from me and looked toward the window. At first I thought that he regretted what we'd just done. Then I realized why he was suddenly so uncomfortable. My panties were completely drenched as were the outside of his pants. _The inside of his pants, too, dummy. Oh. My. God. _

I wanted to tell him not to be embarrassed, that what we'd just done had been natural and beautiful, but I knew my Edward, and that would just make the situation worse.

He sat up on the side of the bed with his back to me. I sat up as well and threw my arms around him. I pressed my chest to his upper back and kissed his neck. "That was incredible. You are incredible," I whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," he whispered. "I didn't hurt you at all, did I? I didn't hold you too tightly? Oh, God, Bella, if I hurt you…"

"Of course you didn't hurt me; not at all." I replied. "I've never felt so wonderful in all my life."

He turned to capture my lips. The kiss did not last nearly as long as I would have liked it to. After a moment, he froze again and turned back towards the window. "Love, why don't you, um, go and get changed," he suggested awkwardly.

I removed my arms from around his waist, pulled down my nightgown and stood up. Edward sat perfectly still, his hands in his lap, staring out the window. "Um, okay…" I said, confused. "Will you be here when I come back?" After what we'd just shared, his sudden distance was bewildering.

"Yes, I'll be here," he promised. "I just need to deal with Jasper."

"Jasper?" I asked, confused.

Edward nodded stiffly. "Yes, it seems he's on his way here right now."

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

September 23, 2010


	8. Chapter 7

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers:** wytchwm75 **and** Sscana**

**Chapter Seven**

Edward

"Love, why don't you, um, go and get changed," I suggested. I knew that those sexy blue panties of hers were soaked and that thought alone was extremely distracting to me. Not to mention that the intoxicating smell of her arousal was going to make me lose my mind.

I could not believe what we had just done. Although I had been afraid at first that I may have hurt her, as soon as I realized I hadn't, I couldn't even find it within myself to feel too badly about it. After all, we were just two weeks away from being a married couple. Seeing Bella lose herself like that had been absolutely breathtaking. I would have that image of her burned into my brain forever.

Bella removed her arms from around my waist, pulled down her nightgown and stood up. I sat perfectly still, with my hands in my lap. I was extremely uncomfortable because my pants were incredibly damp and I was still slightly hard.

_Edward, I'll be there in a minute. Alice sent me. Meet me out in the woods. _

"Um, okay…" she said, confused. "Will you be here when I come back?"

"Yes, I'll be here," I promised. "I just need to deal with Jasper."

"Jasper?" she asked, confused.

I nodded. "Yes, it seems he's on his way here right now."

I felt a wave of calm hit me and I realized that Jasper was here to stop me from freaking out too much. Alice must have seen that I would overreact and she knew that Jasper could, at least temporarily, calm me down and make me feel more at ease about this.

_Edward, take a minute and reassure Bella that everything is okay, and then come meet me._

"He must be close," Bella commented. "I feel so relaxed all of a sudden. Not that I wasn't relaxed before, because wow, what we just did was amazing, but then I felt like you might regret it-"

She rambled until I cut her off. "I do not regret it," I promised. "I must admit, I am feeling a little uncomfortable, because, well…" I stopped and looked down at my lap.

Bella giggled, clearly understanding what I meant by _uncomfortable_. "I'm so glad you don't regret it." Bella bit her lip and eyed me sexily. "When can we do that again?"

"I believe I have created a monster," I said with a smile as I took both of her hands in mine and gave them a gentle squeeze. "I need to go talk with my brother. Please put on some different clothes, preferably something that covers more of your gorgeous body or I can't be held responsible for what happens." I grinned at her and she flashed me a dazzling smile in return.

"I'm not making any promises," she whispered as she leaned down to kiss me. I let go of her hands and wound my arms around her waist, pulling her in closer and deepening our kiss.

"Edward, I hate to interrupt your love fest, but will you please get your ass out here right now? You guys are really making me want to get back to Alice," I heard Jasper say from about a half a mile away.

I let go of Bella and gently pushed her back. "I'm so sorry, love. I really need to go and see what Jasper needs." She nodded once, smiled at me again and left the room.

I stood up, adjusted myself as best as I could, leapt from the window and ran to meet Jasper in the woods directly behind Bella's house.

He stood leaning against a tree looking at me with a smug expression on his face. "Alice saw you completely freaking out, but it seems that you've changed your mind. There are many things I could say right now, but I'll keep it simple. Way to go!" _It's about damn time. Poor Bella has been so sexually frustrated. I was starting to feel really bad for her._

I knew that I should be embarrassed or aggravated with him, but his control over my mood made that impossible, so I just shrugged. "Um, thanks, I guess."

He threw a new pair of pants at me and chuckled. "Alice bought you ten new pairs of sleep-pants, by the way. I put the rest of them in Bella's car for now. You may as well keep them in her room though. She's likely to pounce on you as soon as you get back."

Again, I should have felt completely mortified, but Jasper wouldn't let me. That was probably another reason why Alice sent him. He could prevent me from feeling as humiliated as I otherwise would have felt about my family being over-involved in yet another aspect of my sex life. And, she had been kind enough to send him alone.

"When I first arrived, I could feel your guilt and fear over the idea that you may have hurt her. I'm telling you right now, you need to knock that off. You didn't do anything wrong." _In fact,_ y_ou must have done something right because Bella is so ridiculously giddy right now. _He grinned smugly again, knowing that I could hear his thoughts.

I laughed nervously, but I was actually quite glad that Jasper was here for me to talk to. He was always so understanding and obviously he had the ability to make anyone feel comfortable about opening up to him. "Jasper, it was so incredible that I could make her feel like that. And even though I sort of felt like I was losing control, I didn't hurt her. That was my biggest fear; that I would hold her too tightly or squeeze her too hard. God, now that I know what kind of restraint I'm capable of, I feel so relieved."

Jasper nodded. "You were the only one that had those doubts, Edward. We all had faith in you." He held up a hand to stop me from interrupting, as I fully intended to do. I did not like the idea that they sat around discussing Bella and me like that. "Not that we spent all that much time talking about it, but you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks for believing in me I guess. And thanks for bringing these to me," I said, holding up the pants he'd brought me.

"No problem. And while I'm here, I should probably warn you that Emmett is planning your Bachelor Party. It's the night before the wedding, and that's also when the girls are throwing Bella's party," Jasper informed me.

I groaned. "I can only imagine what Emmett has planned. But if Bella can be a good sport about the torture Alice will put her through, I guess I can, too."

"Oh come on, it won't be so bad. We're going hunting and then maybe we'll just _talk _a little_, _you know, give you some pointers. It is our right as your big brothers," he said, grinning. "And I'll try my best to keep Emmett in line."

"Yeah, alright," I conceded with a grimace. "I better get back. Thanks again." I turned to leave.

_Watch out for Bella. She is going to be absolutely insatiable now. _

I looked back at him and he grinned and nodded at me. "Have fun, Bro." Then he turned and ran further into the woods.

I quickly changed my pants, hurried to Bella's car and hid the ones I had been wearing under the seat, then climbed back in to Bella's room. I entered silently and found her lying across her bed with her hands resting underneath her head. She was wearing a V-neck tank top and tiny cotton shorts. She had her knees bent and I could see that her shorts were very short; so short in fact that her ass was hanging out of them. _She is really testing my self- control._

Then my eyes really bugged out when I noticed that she was not wearing a bra. _Her nipples are staring at me. Okay, nipples can't stare at me. I am staring at them._ Bella's eyes were closed, but she had a dreamy smile on her face.

I stood at the foot of her bed and cleared my throat to get her attention. Her eyes flew open and she sat up straight and smiled at me. At least I thought she smiled, but I couldn't be sure because I hadn't yet managed to take my gaze away from her chest.

"Ahem…my eyes are up here, Edward," Bella said with a laugh.

I shook my head to clear it and laughed along with her. "Well, I'm sorry, love, but I distinctly remember telling you to wear something with more coverage. It's not my fault that you didn't listen."

Bella sat up onto her knees then crawled to the end of the bed. It was one of the sexiest things I'd ever seen her do. She grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me towards her. She captured my lips and pressed her tempting chest to mine.

By now, it was quite late and Bella needed to get up early to meet her mother. Without removing my lips from hers, I gathered her into my arms and laid us down on her bed. As much as I wanted to continue, I knew that she needed to rest. We kissed for a few more moments before I pulled back.

"Love, you really need to sleep," I told her.

She groaned, but then she nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I guess I am kind of tired. You wore me out."

I laughed. "I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not."

She giggled softly and it was one of my favorite sounds in the world. She tapped my leg and said, "So, Alice sent Jasper with some new pants for you?" She blushed and looked away from me.

I groaned. "Yes, she did. It was actually quite thoughtful of her. At least with Jasper, my humiliation was kept to a minimum."

Bella yawned, then whispered, "I wish you wouldn't be embarrassed. It was fantastic. I love you, Edward. Thank you for…well…you know."

"No thanks necessary, my love. But, thank you as well. I love you, my beautiful Bella. Sweet dreams." I kissed her temple and hummed her lullaby until she fell asleep.

Bella

"How many nighties do I really need?" I asked as I opened the last gift box. I gestured to the boxes scattered on the floor by my feet in the Cullen's spacious living room. "Now I have one in every color."

I was in the middle of Hell on Earth. It was the evening before my wedding and I was currently being subjected to torture in the form of a Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party.

My mother, Esme, Rosalie and the Queen Torturer herself, Alice, had thrown this party for me. At least Angela was here, too, so I had someone to roll my eyes at when my mother or Alice embarrassed me.

I had promised them that I would try to be a good sport about this, but it was becoming very difficult to do so. Especially now that I had bows stuck to my head, a ridiculous sparkling "Bachelorette" sash across my chest and I was currently surrounded by the skimpiest lingerie I could have imagined. My entire body was red because, despite my best efforts, I could not stop blushing.

"You really should have two in every color," Alice said in her sing-song voice. "It is inevitable that at least one will be torn and damaged when Edward rips it off of your body."

My panicked eyes flew to my mother, but she was laughing and nodding. "That is a very good point, Alice. Phil tore three of my favorite teddies on our honeymoon."

My hands immediately covered my ears like a child. "Mother! That is so not what I needed to hear, thank you very much!"

"Bella, darling, in twenty-four hours you will be a married woman. There's no reason to play coy. I know that you and Edward are _saving_ yourselves for marriage," she said dramatically, as if it was a ridiculous idea. "But that doesn't mean that you two haven't been intimate. Did you forget that I was over at your father's house the other day? I'm not stupid. I heard you and Edward in your room." She wiggled her eyebrows and then took another long sip from her wine glass.

"Mom, please," I begged through clenched teeth. "I really don't think that Edward's mother and sisters want to hear about this."

"Yes, we do," Esme, Alice and Rose said at the same time and then they all giggled.

I buried my face in my hands, completely mortified. After a moment, I looked over at Angela. She had been quiet, just as I had expected she would be. She sat on the sofa, eagerly leaning forward.

"Ang, save me," I begged.

"Sorry, Bella," she whispered to me. "Renee, what did you hear?"

_Traitor!_

"Well, let me tell you," she said turning to Esme. "You surely have raised a gentleman."

I knew the story that she was going to tell so I chose to block out her version and re-live the memory myself.

_Renee and Phil had been in town for over a week, and there were just days left before the wedding. Phil and Charlie had gone with Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett to a baseball game in Seattle. I thought that Renee was spending time with Esme, Alice and Rose at the Cullen's._

_Edward had gotten out of going to the game by using the excuse that he had to have his final tux fitting. But, the truth of the matter was I had begged him to stay back with me. I figured that he and I could finally have some alone time since the wedding planning had gotten so chaotic with all of our family involved._

_We had been doing a great deal of practicing for our honeymoon after our very successful first experiment. Although Edward seemed fine about being shirtless, he never allowed me to take off any of my clothes. Still, we managed to have quite a lot of fun with our clothes on. And the fact that he enjoyed our practicing as much as I did had made me a bit bold._

_I knew how much Edward lusted after my chest, so I teased him more and more each night with my sleep attire. Just the night before, I had worn a torn up tank top that barely covered my breasts at all. He couldn't stop staring and that made me very happy. He was always very proper, bordering on too gentlemanly, so it was nice to see him acting like a horny perv who just wanted to stare at my boobs._

_I decided that today would be a good day to test him. We were alone and no one would be back for hours. I took a shower and changed into a pair of shorts and a tiny string bikini top, presumably so I could sun bathe. So what if it was a typical cloudy day in Forks? I was trying to push Edward. And he'd let me push him a little lately so I really wanted to see how far I could go._

_Edward was waiting in my room, like always, and I emerged from the bathroom in my little-and I do mean little- outfit. I was a bit nervous for his reaction, but I was determined not to be too timid and I willed myself not to blush. So far, I was doing okay. _

_As soon as Edward saw me, he gasped audibly. He quickly pulled himself together, but it didn't escape my notice where his eyes had focused. _

"_The sun is supposed to come out and I wanted to try to soak up some Vitamin D while we're here all alone," I said seductively, though I felt like I sounded foolish._

_Edward gulped. "There is no sun in the forecast, love."_

"_Really? It's so hot though," I panted. I hoped so much that I didn't sound as stupid to him as I did to myself. "Maybe you could cool me down?"_

_I walked over to him, wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my barely covered chest against his cool one. My nipples hardened instantly. And I knew that Edward felt them through his thin t-shirt because he shuddered. _

"_Mmmmm," I moaned. "That's much better." I stood up on my toes to kiss him. I placed light kisses on his mouth, pulling back between each kiss as he tried to lean into to me, clearly wanting more. Finally, he took my face in his hands and kissed me hungrily. I kept my lips pressed together while his tongue tried to part them. Eventually, I opened my mouth to him and let our tongues battle for dominance. _

_I was still pressing my chest against him but, because he was so much taller than me, we were in a difficult position. Edward let go of my face and reached down to palm my ass. He gave it a squeeze then lifted me up to allow me to wrap my legs around his waist. I threw my arms around his neck and tangled my hands in his perfect hair. _

_Edward held me up with one hand on my ass while the other slid underneath the bikini strings across the middle of my back. I knew that he wasn't going to do it, so as quickly as I could, I pulled one of my hands from his hair and reached back to untie my top. To my surprise and delight, he didn't stop me. _

_My breasts spilled out of the tiny top and Edward pulled his mouth away from mine and looked down. I'd never seen that look on his face before. He looked like a thirsty man who had just found water._

_But then he set me gently down on my feet and backed a few steps away from me. I was crushed. We were just days away from our wedding and he still didn't want to see me naked. The bikini top was hanging loosely around my neck, but I was completely exposed. I moved my arms to cover myself, but Edward stopped me._

"_No, Bella. Please, don't cover yourself up. I just…" he gulped. "I'm just a bit overwhelmed here. Let me look at you."_

_He stepped forward and took my hands in his, though we were still a few feet apart. "Exquisite," he murmured quietly, staring unabashedly at my chest. "You are absolutely perfect."_

_Edward took another small step forward and released my hands. "May I?" he asked. I was so happy that he was finally seeing me and wanting to touch me. I bit my lip lightly, nodded and smiled up at him._

_He smiled back as he tentatively reached out until he was cupping both of my breasts in his big, strong hands. We both let out low moans when he first touched me. "So beautiful," he whispered._

_Then he dropped to his knees so my chest was even with his face. He still held my breasts in his hands as he leaned forward and kissed my left nipple lightly with a closed mouth. I screwed my eyes shut and moaned again, this time loudly. I was having a difficult time regulating my breathing and I couldn't seem to get enough air. I quickly became light-headed and I saw stars behind my closed eyelids. The feeling was incredible. I once again tangled my hands in his hair, but this time to hold him in place. _

_Edward softly pinched my left nipple and rolled it between his fingers as he kissed my other breast. Much to my surprise, he then opened his mouth and sucked gently. I couldn't take it. The sensations were just too much. I started to sway and then my legs gave out on me. Edward caught me and stood me upright on my feet. _

"_Bella, please put your top back on," he said sternly. Overprotective Edward was back. "Besides, your mother just arrived," he whispered._

_I ignored the comment about my mother. She would give us privacy. "I'm sorry. I wasn't going to faint or anything though. Let's just lay down on the bed," I pleaded._

"_Love, this has gone too far. Please, just put your top back on. And a shirt would be nice, as well," he said commandingly. _

_I hung my head. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I thought you wanted…"_

"_Of course, I want. I want to see you, to touch you, baby. But I can't have you passing out and injuring yourself." _

"_I told you, I wasn't going to faint. I just a little caught up in the moment and my legs didn't want to hold me up anymore," I protested. I knew how utterly ridiculous I sounded, but I couldn't come up with anything better in the moment._

"So, I come up the stairs," Renee's laughter pulled me from my memory. "And I hear Edward begging Bella to put her top back on."

All of the girls were giggling while I hung my head in shame and embarrassment.

"Then Bella says, 'no just get on the bed' or something like that," Renee howled. "What kind of girl did I raise?" she asked in mock horror.

My face grew impossibly redder and I was about to make a run for it. Alice must have seen my plan because she quickly sat down next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "It's okay, Bella. I'm sure what your mother heard was taken out of context. Rose, do you want to tell some embarrassing Edward stories now?"

"No!" I shouted, standing up. "I've had enough humiliation for one evening. Both mine and Edward's, so no, please, no more stories."

"I'm sorry, Bella. Don't be mad," my mother pleaded.

"Fine," I grumbled. "Well, I've opened my gifts and have been thoroughly humiliated. What's next? Is a stripper going to show up to dance for me?"

Alice nodded and clapped her hands. Rosalie promptly got up and left the room.

"What?" I yelled. "I was joking. Please, Alice, no!"

Alice put her hands on my shoulders and guided me to the chair that she had placed in the center of the room. "Bella, you're getting married tomorrow. We can't have you having a heart attack tonight. Just sit down and relax." She pushed me into the seat and whispered, "I promise, you're going to love this."

I hung my head again and murmured, "Fat chance."

Esme shook her head and laughed quietly. She picked up a remote control and cheesy music began to play.

Rosalie returned pushing a huge cardboard cake. She smiled tentatively at me and returned to her seat.

"Woo hoo!" Renee shouted.

Angela was blushing almost as much as I was.

The music got louder and the cardboard cake began to shake. Suddenly Emmett popped out of the top of it and yelled, "Tada!"

I burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. "Emmett! You've got to be kidding me!"

Emmett flashed me his trademark smile. "So, can I dance for you?" He wiggled his eyebrows and shook his hips.

"No, you may not," I said through my giggles.

He pouted then sauntered over to Rosalie. "How about you, babe? Can I dance for you?"

She smiled. "Maybe later. Get back to your party." She kissed him quickly then pushed him away.

Emmett came over to me and pulled me out of the chair and into his enormous arms. "Have fun tonight," he whispered into my ear. "Edward can't wait for tomorrow." He kissed my cheek then released me.

"Well, since the bride won't let me entertain you ladies, I'll be going now. Have fun, girls!" Emmett left the room and I burst out laughing again.

"Thank you, Alice. I needed a good laugh," I said turning to look at her.

"It wasn't my idea, Bella," Alice replied and then looked over at Rosalie.

"I knew that Alice was going to torture you enough, so I thought Emmett could lighten the mood," she said, shrugging. "I'm glad it worked."

I was so touched. Rosalie had changed her behavior toward me ever since she found out that Edward and I were going to try to have a baby. I knew how much she loved children and I figured she was just happy that we were potentially adding a baby to the family. But _this_ she did just for me. "Thank you, Rose." I walked over to her to give her a hug. She was surprised, but she did hug me back.

"You're welcome, Bella," she replied, sounding almost self-conscious.

"So, no stripper then?" Renee asked, disappointed.

I rolled my eyes and silently prayed for this night to end quickly.

Edward

"How is Bella?" I asked Emmett as soon as he returned from making his appearance at Bella's party. Jasper, Carlisle and I were currently at my _party_; which consisted of glutting ourselves on the wildlife of the Olympic forest and sitting around a fire listening to my brothers try to offer me sex advice.

"She was having a horrible time until I showed up," he replied with a wide smile. He put his hands behind his head and shook his hips, imitating a stripper move. "She loved seeing me dance."

"Very funny," I replied, not amused. I saw in Emmett's mind how absolutely horrified Bella was when Rosalie rolled out that ridiculous cardboard cake. My poor girl.

"Relax, Bro. Rosie and Alice were absolutely right about Bella needing to laugh tonight. I didn't think Renee's little story about you finally getting to touch the boobies was all that embarrassing, but Bella was really freaking out," Emmett commented. _And why didn't you tell me you finally got to cop a feel? I want to know these things. _

"Emmett, what Bella and I do behind closed doors is no one's business," I told him sternly. Still, I couldn't help but smile at the memory of briefly getting to touch and kiss her beautiful, naked breasts. I had used Renee's arrival and Bella's near fainting as an excuse to stop that day.

Really, I had been just totally overwhelmed by the sight of her gorgeous body that I needed to stop to regain some control. If we had continued another second, I would have needed Jasper to bring me a change of pants again. I had hidden sleep-pants in Bella's closet and I didn't want him to have to bring me jeans to hide in there as well. That incident had provided enough humiliation for a lifetime. Not to mention that all I had wanted was to throw her down on the bed and I had been seconds away from doing just that. It had scared me that I was so close to losing control.

_Stop it, Edward. Your guilt and fear have to stop. _

I looked over as Jasper and he nodded. "Seriously, Edward, I know you don't like Alice looking for these things, but she hasn't foreseen any problems."

"How do you know? Why the hell have you and Alice been sitting around talking about this?" I asked, exasperated.

"I'm sorry, but you have been so worried I asked Alice to look and tell me what she saw so I could reassure you," he replied. _And everything will be fine. In fact, you and Bella will both really, really enjoy yourselves._

"Edward, I think Jasper is right," Carlisle said calmly. "I think you need to stop worrying so much and just enjoy the fact that you're getting married tomorrow." _I'm so happy for you, Son. And I'm thrilled for Bella to officially join our family. _

I shook my head and decided to lay it all on the line and hope they had some advice for me. "I'm scared, okay? I love her more than anything and knowing that I could hurt her is the most terrifying thought in the world."

"Oh, Edward," Carlisle whispered. "You are torturing yourself, Son."

_Poor kid. Now I actually feel bad for being such a dick. But seriously, there is no way he'll hurt her. No fucking way._

I looked at Emmett and raised my eyebrow at him. He just shrugged and looked a little guilty. "I'm really sorry. But come on man, your control is amazing. You're not going to hurt her."

"But I so easily could," I protested.

_He is killing me here. I can literally feel his pain and it's killing me._

I looked at Jasper and said, "I'm sorry. I really am. I don't want to feel like this. I should be celebrating right now. I'm marrying the most amazing, beautiful girl in the world tomorrow and I'm sitting here having a meltdown." I hung my head in guilt and sorrow.

"I know, Edward. I know you're scared, but you need to have some hope and some God-damned faith in yourself. You and Bella have been intimate and you haven't hurt her yet. What makes you think you will when you actually have sex?" Jasper practically yelled.

"I don't know!" I shouted back. "That's why I'm so worried, because I don't know how I am going to react. What if I totally lose myself and hold her too roughly. I could bruise her so easily. I could break her bones without even realizing it. I could kill her."

"For fuck's sake, man, you are putting way too much pressure on yourself!" Emmett bellowed. "You have been with her long enough to know how to touch her without hurting her. Jesus Christ, Edward! Sex is awesome, but it's not going to turn you into someone else. You'll still be you and you'll still know how to be with her without hurting her."

Emmett's speech actually hit home with me, and I was starting to feel a little better. _Who knew that he could be so serious and impassioned about something?_

"Besides, you need to give it to her good if you want to make a baby," Emmett joked, returning to the goofy oaf that we all knew and loved.

I burst out laughing. Hearing that was just what I needed.

"I'm sorry," I said through my laughter. "I really do need to relax, huh?"

Carlisle chucked softly then said, "Yes, Edward, you really do. I have no doubt in my mind that you are not going to hurt Bella. But don't be alarmed if she screams. More than likely, that will mean she's enjoying herself."

Emmett, Jasper and I looked at our father and we all burst out laughing again.

Carlisle just shrugged. "Come on; let's see if we can find some more mountain lion." He jumped up and ran and we all followed.

Hours later, despite Alice's warnings not to, I snuck into Bella's room to watch her sleep. It would be her last night living in Charlie's house as Isabella Swan. Tomorrow she would be Bella Cullen, and we'd never be apart again.

I resisted the urge to lie down next to her, so I sat down in my old perch, Bella's rocking chair. Like I had when we'd first met, I simply watched her. I marveled at her beauty. And I smiled at the memory of my realization that I loved her and that I always would. It had been the best, yet most frightening emotion that I had ever felt in my very long life.

I recalled how nervous I had been then; how afraid I had been to touch her. We'd come so far since that time. Once again, sitting in her room, watching her sleep, I realized something that I had never thought was possible, was absolutely possible. Tomorrow evening, I was going to make love to my wife. I was not going to hurt her, and perhaps we would even conceive our child.

"Edward," Bella mumbled in her sleep. "Oh, Edward…"

I smiled and listened intently.

"I don't want to get married."

I stopped breathing and if I could cry, I'd be drowning in a river of tears. She did not want to marry me. How could this be happening? I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands. _Oh God, what do I do now? Do I leave? No, I swore I'd never leave her again. Maybe I should call off the wedding myself. What if she goes through with it even though she doesn't really want to?_

I was so distracted that I didn't notice that Bella's heart rate had picked up and her breathing pattern had changed until I heard her giggle quietly. I looked up and met her eyes. When she saw my face, suddenly her smile vanished and she looked as heartbroken as I felt. "I'm awake, Edward. It was just a joke," she said meekly.

I darted across the room and sat down on her bed. Obviously my face still registered my shock and horror at the idea that she didn't want to marry me, because her eyes filled up with tears and she reached her hand out to stroke my cheek lovingly. "I'm so sorry, baby. It was Alice's idea. She knew that you were going to come in here even though she told you that you couldn't see me before the ceremony. I shouldn't have listened to her! Oh God, if you could see your face… I'm so sorry." She leaned forward, wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me gently.

I pulled back after a moment, still not over the shock. "I thought you really meant it," I whispered. "I thought my life was over."

"I am so sorry for making you feel like that. I shouldn't have said it; it was cruel and ridiculous. Of course, I want to marry you. I want it more than I ever thought I would," she said tearfully.

Relief flooded through me, followed quickly by anger. "I don't know how I'll pull it off, because she'll be able to see it coming, but somehow I'm going to get back at Alice for this," I said through clenched teeth.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so very sorry. I don't ever want to see that look on your face again," Bella said softly.

I felt bad for making her feel so guilty, but I had to be 100% sure. "Do you want to marry me tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yes, I absolutely do," she stated with conviction.

"Then I forgive you. But if you ever scare me like that again…" I didn't know how to finish that sentence. "Then the next time Emmett jumps out of a cake for you, he's going to dance."

Bella giggled and kissed me again. "I don't want anyone else to dance for me..." Suddenly, she seemed very nervous. I could feel her body heat up with a blush and I felt her palms grow sweaty against my neck.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked for what felt like the millionth time since I'd known her.

Bella's heart raced even faster, and then she whispered, "I'm just thinking about tomorrow night. I can't wait." Her voice was filled with both love and lust.

The fear and hesitation I had felt earlier had vanished. Tomorrow, I was marrying the love of my existence and we'd finally consummate our relationship. "Me, too, love. Me, too." I closed my eyes and pictured where we'd be and what we'd be doing twenty-four hours from now, and I smiled.

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

October 5, 2010


	9. Chapter 8

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers:** TG10871 **and** Sscana**

**Chapter Eight**

Bella

I woke with a start. I had been dreaming of Edward, as I almost always did. In this particular dream, he was behind a glass wall and I could see him, though it seemed he could not see me. He sat in a rocking chair with the same devastated look on his face that I had seen the night before when I had played that awful joke on him.

I should have known not to do it. Alice had told me that Edward was going to sneak in and watch me sleep and that she wanted to teach him a lesson for not listening to her warnings not to see me on our wedding day. She couldn't have seen that he'd react like that. Alice was too sweet to do something so cruel, so I truly didn't think she'd known how upset Edward would be.

But I really had thought that he would know that I was awake and that it was a harmless prank. I'd expected that he would be a little surprised and I would have said, "That's what happens when you break into someone's house and listen to their sleep-talking." I would have laughed and he would have felt a little guilty for sneaking in. It killed me that it didn't happen that way at all.

Seeing that look on his face broke my heart. And that look played over and over again in my dream. I was shouting to him through the glass; telling him that I loved him and couldn't wait to be his wife. He just sat there, looking toward me but not responding. I awoke when, in the dream, he finally looked at me and said, "I thought you really meant it. I thought my life was over."

I was still breathing roughly from the panicked feeling my dream had left with me. I took a few calming breaths and sat up and stretched. When I reached my arms out, I found a piece of paper on top of the pillow. It was a note written in the elegant script of the man who would become my husband in a mere ten hours.

**My dearest Bella,**

**Good morning, beautiful girl. This will be the last morning you awaken without me by your side. Tomorrow morning, and every morning until you no longer need to sleep, you will wake up in the loving arms of your husband. I hope that makes you smile, because nothing could make me happier.**

**I want to apologize for last night. Before you protest and say it is you who is sorry, don't. I should not have snuck into your room like that. I realize that, while I was probably welcome there, I shouldn't have just shown up without your knowing. Just like I should not have snuck into your room all of those times after we first met.**

**I just couldn't stay away from you, then or now. Last night, before you began talking, I re-lived what it was like to watch you sleep and listen to your sleep-talking when you didn't know I was there. Oh Bella, it was the most glorious feeling that first night I heard you say my name in your sleep. I know I've told you this before, but that is the moment I realized that I was in love with you. I suddenly knew that my life had been forever changed.**

**That night was when my life really began, because before you, I was not truly living. Now, I have a wonderful future to look forward to with my wife and son (if you are indeed right about us having a boy, of course) by my side. **

**Today, our wedding day, and every day since I first knew that you loved me in return; I ask myself how I got so lucky. I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are my world.**

**These next few hours until I see you again will be the longest of my very long life, because I have never been more excited about anything than the prospect of seeing you walking down the aisle toward me at our wedding. Okay, that's not true. I'm more excited about our honeymoon. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that I didn't want you. I was just afraid that I would hurt you. I am still a bit afraid, but I have faith in myself now that I didn't have before. Please make no mistake…I want you, my love.**

**Please try to enjoy your day preparing for our wedding. Alice is so excited, but she has blocked me from her thoughts so I have no idea what is in store for us. Don't be too upset with her about last night. She didn't realize that I would have such a strong reaction. Still, someday, even if it's a hundred years from now, we'll get her back. **

**I can't wait to see you, love. I know you will be the most beautiful bride in the history of the world.**

**I love you, my Bella.**

**Yours for eternity,**

**Edward**

I wiped the tears from my eyes and let out a shaky breath. _How can he possibly think that he is the lucky one? _

I looked at the clock and realized that Alice would be arriving in just under an hour to drag me back to her house and commence the torture of primping me. For what would likely be the last time, I headed downstairs to make breakfast for my dad. That thought brought on a new round of tears.

When I got to the kitchen, Charlie was already there drinking a cup of coffee and talking on the phone. He looked up and gave me a sad smile. "Bella is awake. I better go. I'll see you this afternoon, Sue." He paused, then smiled shyly and whispered, "Me, too."

I wondered if she had just said she loved him. I hoped so. That would certainly mean that their relationship was much more serious than I'd realized. I would feel so much better about moving away knowing that Charlie had someone to take care of him and someone to spend time with. He'd been alone for so long and he deserved it. I couldn't be happier that Sue may be that person for him.

"Morning, Bells. So, today is the big day," he said with a forced smile. "You excited? Nervous?"

"Yes, both," I replied as I leaned down to kiss his cheek. He blushed.

"So, how was your party last night?" he asked, though it sounded like he didn't really want to know.

I groaned. "It was about as awful as I imagined it would be. I'll spare you the details."

"Thank God," he mumbled.

We enjoyed breakfast together, though I could feel the tension in the air. Charlie kept looking at me like he wanted to say something, but he remained quiet.

I couldn't stand the awkward silence any longer. "Dad, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a little sad," he confessed wistfully. "I thought I had a few more years before I'd have to give you away. I'm not sure I'm ready to let you go."

Once again, tears sprang to my eyes.

"Aw, Bells, don't cry," he said. "We'll still see each other, right? New Hampshire isn't that far away. You'll come home to visit. And I'll try to visit you, too."

I nodded, though I felt bad that I was deceiving him. Edward and I had decided that we were going to return to Forks after our honeymoon and tell everyone that we weren't ready to start college. We planned to say that we wanted to spend a year travelling. As long as things went according to plan, we'd conceive our little boy on our honeymoon or shortly after and then we'd leave Forks for our travels. Then we'd return for the remainder of the pregnancy so I could spend my last human months close to my Dad as he got to know our son.

Charlie got up and pulled me out of my chair and into a hug. The gesture made me sob openly and I'm pretty sure I heard him sniffle as well.

A knock at the door broke us from our mutual emotional breakdown. Charlie let go of me and stealthily wiped his eyes before going to answer the door.

"Good morning, Father of the Bride," Alice sang happily.

"Good morning, Alice," Charlie responded rather cheerfully considering how emotional he'd just been. Alice just had that effect on him.

She handed him a garment bag and a shoe box. "Your shoes have been shined and your tux has been freshly pressed. Please, don't wrinkle it before the ceremony," she warned as she punched him lightly on the arm.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he promised with a smile.

"Good, good. Now remember, you are picking up Pastor Weber and you need to be at the house by 4:30 at the latest," she ordered.

"Yes, Ma'am." Charlie playfully saluted her then he turned to look at me and smiled. "Bella, go ahead with Alice. I'll see you in a few hours."

I walked over and kissed his cheek again and ran up the stairs. Alice silently followed me.

I found a packed bag waiting for me on my bed. "Everything you need is in there," Alice said from behind me. "Um…Bella…"

I turned to look at her. She stood in the doorway, hanging her head. "Alice, don't. Not now, okay?"

"But you need to let me tell you how sorry I am. I didn't see how he'd-" she began.

I held my hand up to stop her. "Please stop. I don't want to talk about that right now. I don't even want to think about it. Today, I just want to focus on the future."

Changing gears rapidly, she smiled and clapped her hands. "You're right. Today is a happy day! You're about to become my sister!" She pulled me in for a hug and I couldn't help but hug her back. As usual, she got overly excited and squeezed me too hard.

"Alice," I choked. "Can't breathe."

"Oops! Sorry, Bella," she giggled. "Come on, let's go." She grabbed my bag, took my hand and pulled me down the stairs.

When we arrived at the Cullen's, Esme met us at the door and greeted me warmly. "Bella, my dear!" she exclaimed as she put her arms around me, thankfully not squeezing as tightly as her exuberant daughter had. "I felt like this day would never come. You have made my son so happy."

"Thank you, Esme. He makes me really happy, too," I replied, tearing up again. "Edward is the most wonderful man in the world. I can't believe I ever doubted that we should get married."

"Don't give it a second thought. I can't wait for you to see him today," she said cheerfully. "He is so incredibly excited!"

"I can't wait to see him," I said. "Where is he? I know I can't see him until the ceremony, but is he here?"

"Don't tell her anything!" Alice shouted.

"Oh, Alice. Calm down," Esme admonished. "I'm not going to tell her a thing. You know I wouldn't ruin any of the surprises he has planned for the honeymoon."

"Mom!" Alice cried. "Even saying that is giving away too much!"

I groaned. "I hate being the last to know everything."

"You'll love your surprises. Now come with me, there is no time to waste." Alice grabbed my arm and began dragging me toward the stairs. She put her hands over my eyes to make sure I didn't see anything. I could only imagine what over-the-top decorations she had chosen for the wedding.

Alice insisted that I shower immediately so she could get started on the "beautification process," clearly her words. The ceremony didn't begin until 6:00, yet there I sat at noon with Alice combing through my damp hair.

"Alice," I whined petulantly. "Isn't it a little too early to start getting ready?"

"Of course not. There is just so much to do. Your hair needs to set in these rollers," she said, gesturing to the curlers that she'd begun to put in my hair. "Then I need to paint your fingernails and toenails. And Bella, I love you, but all of this crying you've been doing is really going to make it difficult for me to get your make-up just right."

I looked in the mirror and my eyes were still red and I had bags under them from my tumultuous night's sleep. "I'm sorry," I muttered glumly. "But don't most people cry at weddings?"

"Yes, yes," she conceded. "But no more crying for now, okay?"

I nodded. I closed my eyes while she continued to work on me. I felt her pulling at my hair, then soaking my feet while she painted my fingernails. I went to my happy place and tried to ignore everything that was going on around me. I kept my eyes closed and just imagined how Edward would look in his tux. "So perfect," I whispered.

"What's perfect?" Alice asked.

"Oh, I'm just thinking about how handsome Edward is going to look," I sighed contentedly. "I feel bad about how much I take it for granted how lucky I am. He's so sweet and kind to me. And he is so incredibly good looking."

"You sure hit the jackpot with that one," my mother laughed. I opened my eyes and saw Renee standing behind me in the mirror. "But Edward is just as lucky to have you."

I smiled. "Thanks, Mom."

"Don't even think about crying, Bella," Alice chastised. My mom looked at Alice questioningly. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound like such a tyrant. I just want Bella's make-up to come out right."

My mother nodded. "No problem, Alice. I'm going to do my best to not cry either. But my baby girl is getting married today!"

Renee's enthusiasm actually made me smile rather than want to cry. "I love you, Mom. I'm so glad you're here."

"Love you too, baby girl," she responded. "You look so gorgeous!"

I had been looking at my mom in the mirror as she stood behind me, but I had yet to really look at myself. I finally noticed my reflection and I realized that Alice was almost finished making me over. My hair and make-up were done and I glanced down and noticed my nails had been painted in a French manicure style. "What time is it?" I blurted out.

"It's almost 4:00," Alice stated. I couldn't believe that four hours had passed so quickly. My heart began to race. In two hours, I'd be a married woman. And instead of that idea scaring me, it thrilled me.

Esme and Rosalie joined us in Alice's extra large bathroom to help me finish getting ready and to make sure that I had all of my wedding day essentials. Alice had insisted that we stick to tradition and I have my something old, new, borrowed and blue.

Esme carefully unzipped the bag that my dress was in. "Here is your something new," she said with a smile as she helped me into it. I had to admit, Alice had chosen a lovely dress for me. It was simple, yet elegant. Being as pale as I was, Alice knew that I'd look awful in white, so the dress she'd designed was a soft beige. A thin slip was just barely visible under what appeared to be handmade lace. Knowing Alice, it was probably special, antique lace that was tatted centuries ago by the woman who had taught all other lace makers their craft. My gown had thin straps and fell straight down to my ankles with just a little bit of a flare at the bottom. Thankfully, it was lacking a poofy skirt. I didn't need anything billowing around me that could possibly have a negative effect on my already questionable ability to walk. Around the waist was a lovely light pink belt embellished with dozens of sparkly stones. I decided not to let myself wonder if they were real. She'd selected beige satin ballet flats, a compromise between my desire to wear sneakers and her insistence upon shoes that would cause my ankles to give out before our first dance.

Though I had grumbled about each dress fitting Alice had subjected me to, I never suspected that she would turn the simple white slip dress that I had been expecting into just the base layer of this spectacular creation. As beautiful as I had felt in the gown I _thought_ I would be wearing, I was more than thrilled that this dress would be the one immortalized in my wedding pictures. Esme zipped it up for me and turned me around to face everyone else.

"You look amazing!" My mother exclaimed.

Rosalie smiled at me and nodded. "Your mom is right, Bella. You look perfect. Well…almost."

I felt a bit hurt at what I had interpreted as a snarky comment by my almost sister-in-law. I'd thought we'd come so far and that we were actually working toward a friendship. She approached me tentatively and held out two hair combs covered in sapphire and diamond stones. She carefully slid them into my hair and smiled. "Now, you're perfect. And you've got your something blue."

I was so touched and it was written all over my face. "Thank you, Rosalie," I spluttered. "Thank you so much."

"You better not cry, Bella, or you will incur the wrath of Alice," Rose joked.

"Hey, I resent that," Alice huffed.

"Oh Bella, I have your something borrowed," Esme interjected. She reached into the bag she'd placed on the counter and pulled out a blue velvet box. "I wore this necklace on my wedding day, and I'd love for you to wear it today if you like it." She held the strand of pearls to me expectantly. "I would love to wear it, Esme. Thank you." She fastened it around my neck and smiled.

"And I have your something old," my mother said as tears formed in her eyes. "When you were just a little girl, your Gran instructed me to give this to you on your wedding day." She took a delicate gold bracelet from a small pouch. I remembered playing dress-up with it as a child. It was a thin gold chain interspersed with small pearls. It coordinated beautifully with Esme's necklace and offered me even more assurance that this was meant to be. Renee clasped it around my wrist then hugged me tightly. "I wish she could be here to see what a breathtaking bride you are," she whispered in my ear.

It took all of my strength not to cry. I was not totally successful as a few tears welled up, but I held it together. "Thank you, Mom. Thank you all. I really appreciate all of this," I said sincerely.

We left the bathroom finally and went to Alice's room. She made me pose for a ton of pictures with my mom, Esme and Rosalie. Finally, she put the camera down and danced out of the room, returning shortly after pulling my father along with her.

Charlie gasped. "What, Dad? What's wrong?" I asked in a panic.

He shook his head as he grinned. "Nothing's wrong. I just can't believe how wonderful you look, Bella. You are the most beautiful bride."

Again, I willed myself not to cry. "Thanks, Dad. You look pretty spectacular yourself."

He blushed, of course. My dad and I were so much alike. "You can thank Alice for that," he grumbled, sounding embarrassed.

Alice took more pictures of all of us, and then handed the camera off to Rosalie to get a shot of just Alice and me. I posed dutifully for the picture.

"Esme, would you minding taking one of me with both of my sisters?" I asked, gesturing for Rose to join us. Rosalie looked genuinely pleased and I tried not to worry about how plain I looked next to her and Alice.

"Okay, it's time!" Alice sang. She shooed Renee, Esme and Rosalie from the room and turned to smile at me. "You really do look perfect, if I do say so myself." She led us into the hallway and stopped at the staircase.

I laughed. "Thanks, Alice. I'm glad you talked me into having a real wedding. I know how happy Edward is, and I really am, too."

Alice hugged me, very gently for her, then said, "Count to twenty, then follow me." She handed me my bouquet, which at first glance I thought was simply one large flower, but then I realized it had been carefully designed to only look that way. It was painstakingly constructed from the petals of what must have been dozens of blush pink roses, the same color as the sash around the waist of my dress. The stem was wrapped in green ribbon dotted with more of the sparkly gems that adorned my waist. I saw more of the same flowers which made up my bouquet woven into an elaborate swag adorning the staircase down which Alice now glided as she went to take her place as my Maid of Honor.

I heard the wedding march begin and my breathing picked up.

"I guess that's our cue. You ready?" Charlie asked, offering me his elbow.

I nodded and took my father's arm. My heart began to race. I couldn't wait to see Edward. "I'm ready."

Edward

This was the moment I'd been waiting for my whole life. As a human, I had never thought much about marriage. I had vague memories of my mother pointing out different girls and encouraging me to find someone to begin a courtship with. As a vampire, I had never given it much thought either, despite the many weddings I'd attended.

Carlisle and Esme's had been quite nice. I'd been the only one in attendance but I'd quickly left to give them their privacy. It didn't occur to me to be envious of the love they'd found in one another until much later.

Rosalie and Emmett renewed their vows so often I stopped paying much attention. They were always so obvious and blatant about their relationship. Finding Emmett made Rose less miserable with her new life, so I had never begrudged them their happiness.

Despite her love of extravagant parties, Alice and Jasper were always private about their weddings. That was the one area where Alice was calm and subdued. Jasper was her perfect match and he balanced her out impeccably. He didn't even use his gift with her. They were just so natural together. I was grateful for that.

At times, it had been difficult to be the odd man out in a family of couples. Then miraculously I found Bella and I became what I never imagined I'd ever be: a fool in love. But in this moment, I knew that I was getting everything I never realized I always wanted.

My eyes locked on Bella and it was like we were the only two people in the world. I knew that she was on the arm of her father. I knew that we were surrounded by family and friends. But, I didn't see any of them. And I only heard the loudest of their thoughts.

_Bella is so incredibly beautiful. Oh Edward, I'm so proud of you. You couldn't have chosen anyone more lovely. _

I wanted to look at Esme and acknowledge her kind thoughts, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from my bride. Bella was blushing of course, but the smile on her face made all of my fears disappear.

Despite her prank and subsequent assurances that she did want to marry me, a small part of me still had doubts. I'd had those doubts since the moment she'd finally accepted my proposal. I couldn't help but worry that she'd only said yes because she knew how much I wanted it. I could see now, in her amazingly expressive eyes that she was just as blissful as I was to declare our love and promise to be together forever.

Bella continued to walk toward me and I couldn't help but notice how graceful she looked. I had expected her to appear timid and unsure but, as usual, she surprised me. She glided down the aisle with confidence. Her dress was beautiful, her hair and make-up flawless, but I didn't care about that. All I cared about was the joy that I saw radiating from her.

I only broke eye contact when Bella glanced over at her father. Charlie smiled at her, but I could see the sadness in his eyes. I couldn't quite hear his thoughts, but I knew that he felt like he was losing her. But then she smiled at him and suddenly the sense of loss disappeared and he was proud and content.

They finally reached me at the altar. Carlisle, my friend, my mentor and my father stood with me as my Best Man. He patted me on the shoulder. _I think I've only ever been happier on my own wedding day. _I covered his hand on my shoulder with my own for a brief moment. _I love you, Son._

Charlie kissed Bella's cheek and then reached down to wipe a tear from her eye. "Love you, Dad," Bella sighed.

"Love you, Bells," Charlie replied, his voice cracking with emotion. He leaned in to speak softly in her ear, obviously unaware that I could hear him. "Edward is a good man. His love for you used to worry me, but now I'm glad for it because I know how well he'll take care of you. Be happy, baby girl."

Bella's breath caught and she choked out a quiet sob. "Thank you, Daddy."

Charlie looked at me and smiled; a real smile this time. He took Bella's hand and placed it in mine. He took his seat next to his ex-wife and Renee threw her arms around him. "Look at how much they love each other," she said to him quietly. Phil sat next to her looking on indulgently while Sue took Charlie's hand after Renee had released him.

Bella squeezed my hand and smiled at me, and like I had so many times, I got lost in her eyes.

Pastor Weber began the ceremony and while I heard every word he said, I couldn't focus on anything but my beautiful Bella. Her eyes never left mine either. I could hear the thoughts around me, but nothing could distract me from my bride.

When Bella and I had met with Pastor Weber, we'd let him know that we wanted traditional wedding vows. However, we'd also chosen to say our own after reciting the time-honored vows that had been spoken by so many other couples. We had agreed that we'd speak briefly and from the heart and not worry about writing the perfect speeches.

"_I don't want you to try to write the perfect vows," she'd said. "I want you to look at me, in that moment, and tell me how you feel. That is what I'm going to do. I don't want to drive myself crazy, trying to say the perfect thing. I just want to look into your eyes and pour my heart out to you. It may not be perfect, but it will be honest and from my heart."_

When it was her turn, Bella repeated after the Pastor. Then the moment I'd been waiting for had finally arrived. I knew that she hated being the center of attention, yet I couldn't wait to hear her words that were just for me.

Bella held both of my hands tightly in hers, only letting go briefly to dab at the tears in her eyes. She took a deep breath and began. "Edward," her voice trembled. I smiled and nodded, encouraging her to go on. "I never thought I'd find the love of my life at such a young age, but I'm so happy that I did. I can't imagine my life without you. I don't even remember what it felt like not to love you. I love you so, so much and I promise to love you for eternity." With our hands still joined, I reached up to dry her tears yet again. She smiled brilliantly at me and mouthed, "I love you, baby."

When prompted, I repeated my vows as well. Then I took in an unnecessary deep breath through my nose and Bella's scent overwhelmed me. I smiled at the memory of our first meeting, so thankful that we'd ended up here. I had been thinking for weeks about what I wanted to say to Bella. I could have been very eloquent. I could have recited poetry or written her a song. But ultimately I decided to just speak from the heart, unrehearsed as she'd requested. It didn't matter that my heart hadn't beat in nearly a century because Bella made me feel alive.

"My beautiful Bella," I began. "I never imagined that I'd find the love of my existence on a rainy January day at Forks High School. But the first time I saw you, I knew that I'd found what I had unknowingly been looking for my entire life." I paused, knowing that Bella was thinking about our nearly disastrous first encounter.

She smiled and winked.

"You are my world. You're everything to me. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you. I promise to love you and take care of you every moment of forever." I dabbed at my eye, wishing that tears would form. I'd never wanted to let out a happy cry more than right this moment. Like she had, I mouthed, "I love you, baby"

After we said "I do," Pastor Weber declared us husband and wife. "Edward, you may now kiss your bride," he announced with a grin. _It's so nice to see a young couple marry truly for love and not because they have to. _

I smiled at him briefly then turned to capture Bella's face carefully in my hands. I leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, not sure how comfortable she'd be in front of all of these people.

_Don't tease her, Edward. Kiss your wife for real._

I really didn't need Alice's reminder, but I loved the fact that Bella was finally my wife. I removed my hands from her face and wound my arms around her waist to kiss her more fervently, letting my tongue enter her mouth slowly. Bella stood up on her toes, threw her arms around my neck and eagerly kissed me back. Her tongue found mine and all coherent thought went out the window.

After a few moments, I heard multiple guests clear their throats and a few of the women giggle softly. I pulled back slightly, smiled at my wife and gave her one more quick kiss. She smiled back sheepishly. Everyone in attendance erupted into cheers, causing Bella to blush a deep shade of red. I took my beautiful wife's hand as we slowly made our way back down the aisle. I wanted to have a few moments alone with her before greeting our guests, so I took her into the dining room in hopes that we wouldn't be interrupted.

"You look absolutely ravishing, Mrs. Cullen," I said, wiggling my eyebrows at her.

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen," Bella giggled. "Is there any way we could skip the reception and get right to the honeymoon?"

I shook my head and kissed her again. "Soon," I breathed in her ear. She shuddered.

"Edward, you need to come and greet your guests," Alice ordered from the other room.

I groaned. "Alice is beckoning us."

I wasn't quite ready yet though, so I pulled Bella into my arms and kissed her again until her heart raced and she was gasping for breath.

"Wow," she sighed. "If I'd known that being married would do _this_ to you, I would have insisted on eloping to Las Vegas after all." Then she laughed quietly and her face turned bright red.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"It's just…we're married," she replied joyfully. "We're married!"

She looked so happy and I once again wondered what I'd done to deserve this amazing woman. "Yes, we are. I love you, my beautiful wife."

She giggled again. "I love _you, _my sexy husband."

_Oh dear God…I'm about ten seconds away from throwing her down on this table and ripping that dress off of her._

Alice burst into the room and stood in between us. "I see where this is going, and I'm sorry to have to break this up, but you'll have plenty of time for that on your honeymoon."

"When do I get to find out where we're going?" Bella asked, leaning around Alice to look at me.

"Soon, my love," I answered, gently pushing Alice out of the way. I took Bella's hand and kissed it. "Are you ready to greet our guests, Mrs. Cullen?" _Oh, how I love calling her that._

"Ready as I'll ever be, Mr. Cullen," she smiled back, squeezing my hand.

"You guys are adorable and all, but you can't stay in here all night and grope each other," Alice reminded us. "Come on."

She gestured for us to follow and led us back to the living room where our guests were gathered. Carlisle and Esme hugged us first, followed by Renee and Phil. Charlie and Sue Clearwater were next and I once again cursed my gift when I heard Sue's thoughts about how she felt about Charlie in his tuxedo.

We continued to speak to our guests and I tried my best to ignore the thoughts of both Jacob Black and Mike Newton. Mike's thoughts were filled with jealous hatred of me and of how stunning my wife looked. He wished it was Bella on his arm rather than his girlfriend Jessica. Of course Jessica had no idea he felt that way because she was wondering if watching Bella and me marry so young would inspire Mike to pop the question.

Jacob's thoughts were kinder than Mike's, but it was clear that he still had feelings for Bella. Though they'd never been more than friends, he considered Bella to be his first love. Jacob hated me as much as ever, but I was pleased that he was here for Bella. Plus, he seemed to have found his match in Sue's daughter Leah and they appeared to be happy together.

We briefly talked with Angela and Ben and I realized that Bella was not the only human I'd ever had a connection with. I actually felt like they were my friends as well, instead of just Bella's. They were two of the kindest people I'd ever met and their thoughts almost always matched their words. It was rare and refreshing.

When my 'cousins' from Denali approached us, I felt Bella stiffen at my side. Even without the ability to read her mind, I knew that Bella felt a bit uncomfortable meeting Tanya. Her little crush on me from so many years ago was no big deal at all, but I knew that Bella would compare herself to Tanya. I found it ridiculous, because there was no comparison. There was no one in the world more exquisite than my gorgeous wife.

"Kate, Tanya, Irina," I greeted them. "Thank you so much for joining us today. Please allow me to introduce you to my wife."

Bella smiled adoringly at me before extending her hand to them. "It's wonderful to meet you all."

_He looks so happy. This was clearly meant to be._

I nodded at Tanya and smiled.

"Welcome to the family, Bella," Tanya said with a grin. "You truly are a beautiful bride."

Bella blushed and smiled back at her. "Thank you," she responded as she hugged my arm with both of hers.

Finally it was time for the reception to really begin. Alice had decorated the back yard with more lights and flowers than I could have even imagined. Since all eyes were on Bella and me, I unfortunately had to eat a few bites of our dinner. When it came time to cut the cake, a multi-tiered sugar creation scattered with what looked like petals from the flowers in Bella's bouquet, I managed to not eat any of it besides the bit of frosting Bella smeared on my lips. Luckily, she licked most of it off of my lips herself. I enjoyed that a little bit too much in a room full of people. The jacket of my tuxedo thankfully hid the effects of her mischievous tongue.

Jasper gave a toast and didn't even need to use his gift to make our guests laugh and cry. He spoke of how much I'd changed for the better after meeting Bella. His exact words were, "Edward used to be a brooding old man in the body of a teenager, but after meeting Bella he became almost sickeningly cheerful. Thank you, Bella, for turning my brother into someone much easier to live with. We all feel blessed to have you join our family; especially Alice, who has been looking for a new sacrificial lamb for her latest adventures in fashion design."

Bella and I were still laughing at Alice's indignant expression when we took the floor for our first dance. I couldn't have chosen a more perfect song than Clair de Lune. I took Bella into my arms and twirled her expertly around the makeshift dance floor.

"I remember the first time we listened to this song," Bella told me, smiling fondly at the memory. "I can honestly say, I never thought we'd be dancing to it at our wedding not even two years later."

"Do you mean to tell me you weren't dreaming of marrying your strange classmate who kept sending you mixed signals?" I asked, feigning shock.

Bella laughed and it made me laugh, too. "Sorry, baby. Despite how heartbreakingly attractive I found you, I certainly was not picturing marriage. I couldn't even imagine going on a date with you. You intimidated me so much back then."

"You have never seen yourself clearly, love. Even today, you probably don't realize how utterly beautiful you look," I told her as I leaned down to kiss her. "There has never been a more gorgeous bride."

When the song ended, Charlie tapped me on the shoulder and requested a dance with his daughter. While they took their turn on the dance floor, I danced with Esme. I couldn't help but keep my eyes on Bella though. She and Charlie danced awkwardly, but they both looked content. I heard their conversation and I was very pleased when I heard him tell Bella how proud he was of her.

Bella and I danced together a few more times, and we each danced with family and friends as well. I couldn't help but chuckle when I watched Emmett swing Bella around the dance floor like a rag doll. My wife was a good sport as she laughed at his antics. I was enjoying myself, but I was also counting the minutes until we could leave for our honeymoon. I was nervous and excited and for more than just the obvious reasons.

I had purchased a private island off the coast of Vancouver and I was hesitant to find out Bella's reaction. She had gotten better at accepting gifts recently, so I hoped that she'd see how practical a purchase this was. It would not only be a place where we could spend our honeymoon, but it would provide us somewhere to have privacy after her change as well.

During our final dance of the night, Bella seemed to be very anxious. "Are you okay, love?" I asked.

She nodded, then blushed. "I'm okay. I'm just really excited for our honeymoon." She giggled and hugged me tightly. "I'm so impatient, aren't I?"

I leaned down close to her ear and whispered, "You're not the only one." She shuddered and her heart rate picked up considerably.

Alice, with her impeccable timing, interrupted us and whisked Bella away to change out of her wedding gown and into more comfortable clothing. Our island was only a few hours drive then a short boat ride away and I didn't think I could wait another moment to get on the road.

I slipped away as well to change my clothes and make sure the car was packed. When I returned, I ran up the stairs to meet Bella and get ready to say our goodbyes to our family and friends. She had changed into a blue dress and I still couldn't get over how much I loved that color against her skin. Despite the many hours I'd spent staring at her since we first met, her beauty still took my breath away. I would never take her for granted.

"Are you ready, Mrs. Cullen?" I asked her with a wink.

"Oh, I am _definitely_ ready, Mr. Cullen," she responded in her flirtiest voice.

"Okay, I've heard enough of your verbal foreplay. You need to leave. Now," Alice said, pretending to be offended. _You two go have fun. I promise not to look ahead too much. Believe me, I don't want to see that._

I bumped Alice's shoulder with mine. "Thanks for everything, Alice. You gave us such a lovely wedding. We really appreciate it."

Bella hugged Alice and thanked her as well before we made our way down the staircase. Everyone was waiting for us to say goodbye and wish us well.

While Bella said a tearful goodbye to her parents, I said goodbye to my family as well. Carlisle and Esme hugged me and told me how happy they were for Bella and me. Carlisle reminded me again that the blood he'd taken from Bella two days ago was waiting for us on the island and that each dose would provide viable sperm for three days. I grimaced, knowing that all of the vampires in the room could hear our quiet discussion.

"Edward, I am very happy for you and your lovely wife. I hope you have a wonderful vacation," Emmett told me sincerely as he shook my hand_. _He was trying to sound very dignified and respectful, but his thoughts clued me in to what he was really thinking_. Eddie's finally gonna get some! Go Eddie! Go Eddie!_

I couldn't help but laugh as I thanked Emmett for his well wishes, both spoken and otherwise. I was just too excited to be annoyed by him. Rosalie hugged me goodbye next and I was pleased that her thoughts were as kind as her words.

Finally, it was time to go. I took Bella's hand and led her to the car. We were taking the Vanquish, mostly because I wanted to drive fast. Emmett and Jasper had gotten the boat ready and it was waiting at the dock for us and I couldn't get us there fast enough.

"Are you finally going to tell me where we're going?" Bella asked impatiently.

"Don't you want to be surprised when we get there?" I asked, knowing what her answer would be.

"No!" she shouted.

"Okay, you win. We are going to a private island off the coast of Vancouver," I confessed. "We'll be all alone. No one will bother us or interrupt us."

Bella smiled adoringly at me. "That sounds amazing. What is the island called?"

"Belle Île. It's French for _Beautiful Island,_" I explained as I looked into the soft brown eyes that I loved so much. "I named it for my beautiful wife."

.

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Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

October 18, 2010


	10. Chapter 9 part 1

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers:** sscana**, **wytchwmn75** and** jessypt**

**Chapter Nine Part One**

Bella

"Are you finally going to tell me where we're going?" I asked impatiently. My gorgeous husband – _husband!_ – was whisking me away for our honeymoon and I still had no idea of our destination.

"Don't you want to be surprised when we get there?" Edward asked with a grin, despite the fact that he didn't need to be able to read my mind to know what my answer would be.

"No!" I shouted, exasperated.

"Okay, you win. We are going to a private island off the coast of Vancouver," he confessed. "We'll be all alone. No one will bother us or interrupt us."

_A private island, all alone with this beautiful man; I guess dreams really do come true._ "That sounds amazing. What is the island called?"

"Belle Île. It's French for _Beautiful Island,_" he explained as he looked adoringly into my eyes. "I named it for my beautiful wife."

My mouth fell open as I was rendered speechless. _He named the island? _I tried to find words, but all I could manage to do was shake my head. _Edward bought an island? An entire island? _When I tried to speak, just a squeak emerged.

Edward looked nervous. "Bella, I…" he began.

I shook my head again and held up my hand to stop him. My brain was telling me to chastise him, to explain that buying an island was a ridiculous waste of who knows how much money, but my heart disagreed. "Edward, are you telling me that you bought an island?" I couldn't help but smile warily at him. His generosity truly knew no bounds.

He flashed me his crooked smile and my heart rate jumped. I wondered if that sexy smile would always affect me this way. "No, Mrs. Cullen, _I_ did not buy an island. _We_ bought an island."

"This is going to take some getting used to. Being married to a very rich man, I mean," I said. "Most women would be thrilled, but I'm having a hard time here, Edward."

He grinned and kissed my hand. "That is just one of the many, many things I love about you. But this really is quite practical. Don't you want to be able to spend some time with me in the sun? We'll be able to swim together, and you'll be able to sunbathe with me at your side because there is no chance that we'll be interrupted."

I hadn't thought of that. It did sound like a wonderful way to spend our honeymoon, when weren't doing _other things_ of course. Once again, thoughts of finally being able to make love with Edward took over my mind. Plus, I didn't want to begin our marriage with a disagreement. "You're right, that does sound good. Plus, it's your money and you can spend it however you want."

Edward looked upset and I cringed. "Bella, you are my wife. Everything I have is yours as well. I will talk with you about major purchases in the future, but please be reasonable. This island is a place we can go to be alone–for family vacations, for our anniversaries…It's for our future."

"Okay," I said as I squeezed his hand.

"That's it?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes. You're right. I can't wait to see Belle Île," I said. "I really like that name, by the way. You're so good to me, baby. I love you and I'm not going to get bent out of shape about your generosity."

Edward grinned and caressed my hand with his thumb. "Thank you. I love you, too."

I leaned over, kissed his neck and whispered, "How much longer?"

He shuddered slightly then floored the gas pedal. "I am going to get us there as fast as possible."

Before I knew it, he was whipping the car into a parking lot at a marina. He had the bags out and my door opened so quickly that I hardly saw him move. "Anxious?" I asked as he led me down the dock toward a silver and blue speedboat. _Isabella _was painted on the side.

"Yes, very anxious, love," he replied as he kissed my cheek and helped me step into the boat.

"So, this boat is called Isabella?" I asked, grinning. There was just something about _my_ name on Edward's boat that warmed my heart. I felt like that somehow marked him as mine and I liked it.

"Of course," he replied as if it were obvious. "It is customary for a man to name his boat in honor of his true love."

The boat ride to the island was quick and exhilarating with Edward at the wheel. I kept my focus on my amazing husband. I marveled at his skill and grace since, with my luck, I would have run us aground had I been at the helm.

We arrived on the island and I couldn't believe how secluded it was. There really was nothing around for miles.

"Ah," Edward sighed, sounding relieved, as he helped me out of the boat. "It's so quiet. You can't imagine how peaceful it is to hear only my own thoughts."

I felt bad that it had never occurred to me how much the isolation of the island would benefit us. Of course Edward would want the utmost privacy for all of the expected reasons, but also so he wouldn't have to hear anyone's thoughts while we were trying to celebrate our new marriage.

I squeezed him around the middle and kissed his chest. "This island was a wonderful idea. Thank you, baby."

Edward swept me up into his arms, easily managing both the luggage and me. I threw my arms around him and nuzzled his neck.

"You could have waited and just carried me over the threshold you know," I whispered before I kissed him just under his ear.

"I could have," he responded. "But I just couldn't keep my hands off you for another moment."

As we approached, we must have activated motion-sensitive lights and I finally saw the house. I gasped. It appeared to be brand new.

"Esme began designing this house over a year ago," he explained, clearly anticipating my question. "I don't think she had any plans to actually build it at the time though. When I was trying to figure out the best place for us to honeymoon, Esme originally offered us her island."

"_Her_ island?" I questioned.

"She and Carlisle have an island off the coast of Brazil, a very private island just like ours," he told me. "We'll go there someday, love. It's quite lovely and it's a wonderful place to escape to, but it would have just taken far too long to get there and I needto be alone with you _tonight_."

_Well, I certainly can't argue with that. _

The walkway leading up to the house was lined with charming low shrubs. There were beautiful purple flowers planted in front of the porch. The smell of freshly overturned earth led me to believe that the landscaping was a recent addition.

"You can thank Esme for her green thumb, too," Edward laughed as he gestured to the porch. "She and Alice have made several trips up here to get everything ready for us."

My eyes welled up with tears. I was so grateful for everything they'd done. "We have a wonderful family," I blubbered.

Edward smiled and kissed my forehead. "I love that you said _we_ have a wonderful family."

Somehow, he managed to open the door despite having his hands full and he finally carried me over the threshold. Once inside, he dropped the bags and held me tightly in both arms as he captured my lips in a searing kiss. "I love you, Mrs. Cullen," he whispered against my mouth.

"As I love you, Mr. Cullen," I responded, breathless. "So, so much."

He set me down on my feet and took my hand to begin the grand tour. The house reminded me a bit of the Cullen's, with its high ceilings and open rooms, each one flowing into the next. I could see almost the entire first floor from where I stood, as well as the backyard since it had floor to ceiling windows that made me feel like no barrier existed between us and the woods surrounding the house.

We walked into the state-of-the-art kitchen and Edward told me it had been freshly stocked with my favorite foods. Esme had left nothing out in her desire to make this house just right for both Edward and me. I would definitely enjoy cooking in this kitchen and I wondered if I'd ever have the chance to invite Charlie up here to prepare a meal for him.

Edward led me through the great room and showed me the bench seat that overlooked the side of the yard. "I figured this would be a good place for you to relax and read," he told me sweetly.

I smiled when I caught sight of the magnificent new piano on the opposite side of the room and Edward promised he'd start working on a new song for me while we were here. On top of the piano were about a dozen family pictures in mismatched but perfectly coordinated pewter frames.

The long wall of the great room looked out onto the backyard. There was a two-story deck that ran the entire length of the house. The upper deck had a gleaming new teak patio set and a four person hot tub. The bottom deck showcased a large swimming pool which appeared to have been carved straight from the mountainside. I couldn't wait to swim with Edward. That was something we'd never been able to do together.

"I was hoping we could soak in the hot tub for a while tonight," Edward murmured into my ear as he embraced me from behind and held me around the waist.

"That sounds perfect," I replied, turning to kiss him.

Edward picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, swatting my ass as he ran up the stairs. I was hanging off his back as he pointed out two of the bedrooms, two bathrooms and small office. Finally he stopped in the doorway of the room next to what I assumed was the master suite and set me down. It was a small room painted a soft blue color. The room hadn't been fully furnished yet, but it did have a crib, a changing table and a glider chair.

"I guess we'll have to re-paint if you're wrong and our little one turns out to be a girl," Edward said as he rubbed my stomach lovingly. "But let's not get too ahead of ourselves…we need to make the baby first." He laughed lightly, but nervously.

I stood up on my toes, kissed his lips quickly, then took his hand and led him to the only room I had yet to see. "I'm ready when you are," I said as seductively as I could.

Edward gulped loudly. "You're quite a vixen," he teased after he'd composed himself.

I shrugged and said, "I've waited a long time for you, Edward Cullen. I don't think you should keep me waiting anymore."

I was thrilled with the grandeur of our bedroom. A king sized bed with an intricately carved headboard was flush against the interior wall. Even piled high with fluffy feather pillows, the sheer size of the room made the bed look almost small. Turning my back to the bed, I realized that it had been positioned to face a wall of glass doors so that Edward and I would be able to enjoy the sunrise as we cuddled.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see an entire wall of framed pictures of Edward and me. I felt Alice's tiny hand in this decorating effort. I wasn't sure how she'd managed to sneak so many wonderful candid shots of us during our courtship: Edward tenderly caressing my cheek as I slept in his lap on the sofa at the Cullen's, an isolated shot of my left hand proudly showing off my engagement ring, a photo of us dancing in the gazebo at our Junior prom, all milestone events in our relationship.

Every photo was black and white and most prominently featured in the center was a picture that instantly brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't even begin imagine how it was possible, but staring back at me from the heavy silver frame engraved with "Mr. & Mrs. Cullen" and today's date was an image of me wrapped securely in Edward's arms as we lost ourselves in our first kiss at our wedding.

I heard a noise behind me and I turned, surprised to see that Edward had somehow managed to bring our bags up already and my luggage was open and laid out on the bed. I must have been more lost in the photos than I thought to have missed his efforts at getting us unpacked. He kissed my neck and whispered, "I'm going to get the hot tub going. See you in a few minutes, Mrs. Cullen."

Despite my overpowering desire for him, nerves started to flutter in my stomach. I shook it off and took a quick look in the bags that Alice had packed for me and found all of the lingerie I'd received at my Bridal Shower/Bachelorette party. I also found several bikinis of varying degrees of skimpiness.

_Should I put on a swimsuit? _

I realized what a ridiculous idea that was. I stepped into the en-suite bathroom to quickly brush my teeth and comb my hair. I was still wearing the combs that Rose had given me so I carefully removed them and placed them on the counter.

I slipped out of my clothes and underwear and wrapped a large white towel around my body. I stared at myself in the mirror briefly. I couldn't believe how at ease I suddenly felt. Then again, I'd been psyching myself up for this night for so long and I was one hundred percent ready to give myself to Edward completely.

I walked downstairs and only then did my heart rate pick up. I knew Edward could hear, but I hoped he realized that it was excitement and not fear that caused it. I walked through the kitchen and noticed a mug in the sink. I guessed that he'd just had his dose of my blood, but I certainly wasn't going to ask and spoil the mood.

Finally, I made my way to the back door. The deck was lined with dozens of flickering candles and soft music filled the air, though I could not figure out where it was coming from. It was such a romantic setting and I was reminded for the millionth time what a lucky woman I was. I was about to lose my virginity to my husband in the most beautiful place; a place that was ours alone.

I stepped out onto the deck and paused. Edward reclined in the hot tub with his back to me. I spied his clothes draped over a patio chair with his shoes placed neatly under it. The muscles of his broad back were so sexy and I was ready to hop in that tub and jump on him.

_Take it easy, Bella. We have all night. _

Finally, Edward turned to look at me and a smile lit up his face. Before I could let myself think about it, I dropped my towel and walked toward him.

"Stop," he commanded.

I froze in place and a blush quickly spread across my entire body. _Please, oh please, tell me he isn't changing his mind._

"I just want to look at you and freeze this moment in my mind forever. You are more beautiful, more perfect than I ever could have imagined," he said with a grin. "And I'm almost ashamed to admit the countless number of times I have imagined this moment."

Edward extended his arm, motioning for me to join him. I walked toward him and took his hand. Without standing up, he helped me into the tub and sat me down across from him. I was disappointed to be so far away from him since I had been ready to pounce on him from the moment I stepped outside.

Edward seemed nervous though, and I knew it would be better to go at his pace. He smiled shyly at me then his eyes moved down to what I had come to realize was his favorite part of my body. If anyone asked him, he'd say my eyes were his favorite, but I knew better. My Edward was a breast man.

We sat there simply looking at each other for a long minute. I hated this awkwardness between us. The silence was driving me crazy so I decided to try to ease the tension in the air. "It's really beautiful here. You can't see the stars like this in Forks," I commented as I looked up at the sky.

"The stars are no comparison to the beauty of my wife," Edward said.

That had to be one of the cheesiest things he'd ever said to me and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. He looked offended at first, but then he chuckled along with me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I did mean it, but that _was_ pretty lame, wasn't it? I'm just nervous. I'm so out of my element here." Edward grimaced slightly, looking embarrassed.

"No, you're not," I disagreed as I began to inch my way toward him. "This is just new for us. We can take things slowly and learn how to do this together."

He reached out his arms and pulled me toward him at last. I positioned my knees on either side of him and knelt down. Sitting like that kept us close, but allowed enough distance to let us take things slowly. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and held me gently. Despite the very warm temperature of the hot tub, my nipples were hard and aching to be touched. I leaned down so my chest was right in his face and my lips were at his ear. "Don't be scared, baby. We belong together."

Edward shuddered slightly, then leaned forward and kissed my right breast lovingly with a closed mouth. The overwhelming desire I had for him and the feeling of his mouth on me went straight to my core. I had been turned on countless times and Edward had brought me to climax before, but there was nothing like this feeling. I knew now that there would be no stopping us. We were finally married and all alone on this beautiful island.

I moaned quietly in pleasure before I stopped myself, embarrassed at the sounds that I was making.

"Mmmmm," Edward murmured against my breast. "Don't hold back. I want to hear you, baby." He sucked lightly on my nipple as he caressed my other breast lovingly.

I moaned again, louder this time, as I began to slowly lower my hips down to meet his. I felt his hard length against my thigh as I rocked against him.

"Oh, God," he breathed against my chest as he pinched my nipple and rolled it between his fingers. "Too much…too soon."

I lifted my hips and sat back, away from him so that our faces were a few inches apart. "Do you want me to stop?" I asked, trying and failing to keep the disappointment from my voice.

"No, love, I definitely do not want to stop," he assured me. "We just need to, um, take this a little slower…or it'll be over way too quickly." He said the last part so quietly that I almost couldn't hear him over the sound of the bubbling hot tub. And honestly, I wasn't sure he meant for me to hear him.

I nodded in understanding before I realized that I didn't quite know how to proceed. Before I had a chance to even think about what to do next, Edward gripped my waist, picked me up and sat me down so I was straddling just one of his legs. My center made contact with his thigh and when I slid forward, the most amazing sensation coursed through my body.

"Oh," I gasped, momentarily stunned. "Oh God, Edward." I threw my arms around his neck, curled my hands in his hair and pulled his face roughly toward mine so I could kiss him. Despite wanting to be tender, to pour all of the love and desire I felt for him into it, this was not a gentle kiss at all.

I crashed my mouth against his before eagerly pushing my tongue into his mouth. He kissed me back with equal fervor and his arms tightened around me. This movement caused me to slide against his thigh again. I began whimpering, trying to figure out how to move just so to find that amazing feeling again.

As we continued to kiss, Edward carefully held my waist and pulled me against him, then pushed me away over and over again. I slid against his thigh in a rhythm which created the most wonderful friction. He eased his face back just enough so that our lips were only barely touching. "Does that feel good?"

I didn't know quite how to respond. The word _good_ was a vast understatement. I pressed my lips to his again and moaned wantonly into his perfect mouth. "So…good…amazing…wonderful…" I managed to choke out between kisses.

I pulled back slightly to look at him. He locked eyes with me and I couldn't find the words to define the look on his face, but it was sexy as hell. I began to move along with him instead of just letting him guide my movements. Edward captured my lips again and kissed me with wild abandon. His tongue entered my mouth again and I pressed my chest up against his each time I slid forward. My nipples grew harder and I knew that I was near my climax.

I wanted to slow down, to make these delicious sensations last longer, but those thoughts were overshadowed by my intense need to find release. I pushed any lingering feelings of hesitation or embarrassment out of my mind and I essentially humped Edward's leg. I threw my head back and held onto his shoulders while I slid my center over his thigh, rocking my hips back and forth repeatedly.

"You look so amazing right now, Bella," Edward said huskily. "Keep going, baby. I want to see you lose yourself completely. I want to hear you."

His words stirred something in me and I cried out his name, and possibly a few curse words, as I fell over the edge. I writhed on top of him until I felt like all the energy that I possessed had been drained from my body. I slumped against him and he caught me and held me in his strong, loving arms. I needed to rest for just a moment, to come down from my unbelievable high. The night was only just beginning…

I buried my face in his neck and let out a deep, yet unsteady breath. "Mmmmm," I moaned with my mouth to his ear. "That was…that was…mmmmm…" All coherent thought was gone.

"That was the sexiest thing I have ever seen, that's what it was," he said emphatically. "I love you, Bella. God, I love you so much."

I pulled my face away from his ear and began lazily kissing him, first his neck, then his jaw, the side of his mouth, his cheek, the corner of his eye, then finally back to his glorious lips. This time, I kissed him gently and tenderly, trying to pour all the love I had for him into my caresses.

I shifted a bit and once again came into contact with his erection. I was suddenly irritated with the bubbles of the hot tub because I still hadn't _seen_ my husband. I decided that I needed to continue to be bold and suppress any anxiety I was feeling. "It's your turn," I murmured against his mouth as I reached my hand down and touched him _there _for the first time.

"Ah!" he cried out. "Oh, shit."

In our current position, I couldn't do much, so I stood up carefully, hoping that my precarious balance would allow me to stay upright for at least a few moments. I stood before my husband, naked as the day I was born and surprisingly, I didn't feel bashful about it. I would not let my insecurities or shyness stop me from enjoying this time with the love of my life.

I held out my hand to him and asked, "Would you stand up?" He looked confused. "You've seen me–all of me. I want to see you, too," I explained.

Edward gingerly took my hand and stood up. I held his gaze for a moment and smiled at him. My eyes began to drift down his body. His chest was gorgeous and his well-defined abs made me ache to touch them. Finally, I let my eyes travel to the part of him that I'd never seen.

He was absolute perfection; large and long and thick. I wondered how he'd ever fit inside of me, but I dismissed my concern, remembering that we were made for one another. I reached out to touch him again, but he stopped me.

"I think we need to take this inside," he said seductively as he gathered me into his arms and carried me toward our bedroom.

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Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

November 13, 2010


	11. Chapter 9 part 2

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers:** sscana** and **tg10781**

**Chapter Nine Part Two**

Edward

I could hear Bella's heart begin to race as she left our bedroom and made her way down the staircase. I couldn't help but wonder if she was as anxious and excited as I was. As much as I wanted the ability to read her mind, I would have to settle for reading her body. Tonight, I'd finally be able to do so completely.

I heard Bella step out onto the deck then pause. I was in the hot tub facing away from her. I wanted to give her a moment of privacy in case she was shy about being nude in front of me–at least I hoped that she was nude. I had removed all of my clothing and set it on one of the patio chairs. Belatedly, it occurred to me that she may have put on a swimsuit.

Bella hadn't moved an inch since she stepped out onto the deck, so I finally turned to look at her. She had a white, fluffy towel wrapped around her body and, I hoped, nothing else. Bella gave me a small smile, dropped the towel and began to walk toward me.

"Stop," I commanded. I wanted to stop time and imprint this image of her on my memory. I had imagined what it would be like to finally see my Bella naked so many times; at least fifty times a day for the better part of two years, in fact.

A worried look crossed Bella's face and her entire body flushed red. I couldn't bear to have her be insecure about this, so I knew I needed to tell her exactly why I had stopped her. "I just want to look at you and freeze this moment in my mind forever. You are more beautiful, more perfect, than I ever could have imagined…And I'm almost ashamed to admit the countless number of times I have imagined this moment."

She smiled brilliantly when I extended my arm, motioning for her to join me. I helped her into the tub and sat her down across from me. I'm sure she wondered why I sat her there, but I needed a moment to compose myself. I had been ready to jump out of the tub and tackle her the minute she had stepped outside.

Still, I couldn't help but be nervous. The night of our first date, Bella had asked me if intimacy like this would be possible for us. Back then, I hadn't thought it ever would be. Then again, I had also never imagined that we would be married or trying to have a baby.

I couldn't help but smile at how my life had taken such a different turn, and all because of my beautiful Bella. I looked into her eyes to silently reassure her how I much I truly wanted this. But of course my gaze travelled down to her gorgeous breasts. They were so perfect and I would be happy to just stare at them for hours on end.

I realized how rudely I was behaving, so I glanced up and locked eyes with her again. We sat there simply looking at each other for a long minute. I hadn't felt this awkward around in her a very long time. I wanted to say something romantic, but Bella broke the silence before I had a chance.

"It's really beautiful here. You can't see the stars like this in Forks," she commented, looking up at the night sky.

"The stars are no comparison to the beauty of my wife," I responded. I had meant for it to sound sweet and poetic, but it came out sounding incredibly cheesy and if I could have blushed, I would have.

I could tell that she tried to hold it in, but Bella burst out laughing. I was slightly offended that she basically laughed in my face, but I chuckled right along with her. "I'm sorry, Bella. I did mean it, but that _was_ pretty lame, wasn't it? I'm just nervous. I'm so out of my element here."

I was embarrassed because I had no idea what to do to make this good for her. I was kicking myself because she sat naked before me, and I hadn't even touched her yet.

"No, you're not," she disagreed as she began to inch toward me. "This is just new for us. We can take things slowly and learn how to do this together."

I reached out my arms and pulled her toward me at last. Bella straddled my lap as I wrapped my arms around her enchanting body. She leaned down so her gorgeous breasts were right in my face and her lips were at my ear. "Don't be scared, baby. We belong together," she breathed.

I shuddered slightly, then leaned forward and kissed her beautiful breasts. Her nipples were pink and hard and tasted sweeter than anything I'd ever known.

Bella moaned quietly before she stifled herself. I missed the glorious sound immediately.

"Mmmmm," I murmured against her breast. "Don't hold back. I want to hear you, baby." I sucked lightly on her nipple as I cupped and squeezed her other breast. The feel of her in my hand and against my tongue was sweet torture. I just wanted more.

She moaned again, louder this time, as she began to lower her hips down to meet mine. I had been hard since the second she had dropped the towel and I knew that she could finally feel it. Her warm thigh grazed my erection as she rocked against me.

"Oh, God," I whispered against her chest. "Too much…too soon." I could have climaxed from that slight touch alone. _And it would be the most humiliating moment of my life!_

Bella lifted her hips and sat back, away from me. "Do you want me to stop?" she asked, sounding so heartbroken and disappointed.

"No, love, I definitely do not want to stop," I assured her. "We just need to, um, take this a little slower…or it'll be over way too quickly." I didn't mean to say the last part out loud and I hoped she couldn't hear it over the loud jets of the hot tub.

She nodded shyly, looking so unsure of herself. I wanted to kick my own ass for causing Bella to, even briefly, lose her sexual confidence. I had always found her advances incredibly sexy and I hated that she thought I was stopping her yet again.

I knew that I needed to take control and make Bella feel good. Emmett had given me one piece of advice that I promised myself I would follow: _Whatever you do, make sure she comes first. _

I gently grabbed her by the waist, picked her up and sat her down so she was straddling only my left leg. The scent of her arousal momentarily stunned me as she slid against my thigh.

"Oh," she gasped, sounding shocked. "Oh God, Edward." I was worried that I'd hurt her, until she grabbed me by the hair and pulled my face toward hers. She smashed her lips against mine and eagerly pushed her tongue into my mouth. It was easily the roughest kiss we'd ever shared, but I certainly wasn't going to complain. I kissed her hungrily and tightened my arms around her.

Her center slid against my thigh again. Bella whimpered and I could tell by her sexy sounds that she was as turned on as I was. As we continued to kiss, I carefully held her waist and pulled her against me then pushed her away over and over again. I must have found a good rhythm because her whimpers grew louder.

I had to make sure that I was doing it right so I eased my face back just enough so that our lips were only barely touching. "Does that feel good?"

Bella pressed her lips to mine again and moaned into my mouth. "So…good…amazing…wonderful…" she assured me between kisses.

I was overjoyed that I was the lucky man to bring her such pleasure. It gave me the confidence I needed. Now, I knew this evening would go smoother than I dared to even hope. Bella pulled back to look at me and flashed me a sexy smile. She began to move with me instead of just letting me guide her. We fit together so perfectly and my dead heart soared with this knowledge. I kissed her again, even harder than before, and our tongues swirled around one another.

Bella looked confident and determined as she essentially humped my leg. She threw her head back and held onto my shoulders for support as she rocked her hips back and forth repeatedly.

"You look so amazing right now, Bella," I told her in a rush, desperately needing for her to know how astounding it was to see her like this. "Keep going, baby. I want to see you lose yourself completely. I want to hear you."

"Edward! Oh, shit! Edward! Fuck! Edward!" she screamed. Hearing Bella shout my name in the throes of her orgasm filled me with such animalistic pride. She looked so joyous and free. She writhed on top of me for a long minute then finally slumped against me. I caught her and held her tightly.

Bella buried her face in my neck and let out a deep, yet shaky breath. "Mmmmm," she sighed, her breath flowing hotly over my ear. "That was…that was…mmmmm…"

"That was the sexiest thing I have ever seen, that's what it was," I assured her, hoping I'd get to see her like that again and again. "I love you, Bella. God, I love you so much."

Bella pulled her mouth from my ear and began lazily kissing me. She began at my neck then made her way to my jaw, the side of my mouth, my cheek, the corner of my eye, then finally my lips. She kissed me gently and I could feel how much she truly loved me. If I were human, I'd have tears in my eyes since I was so overcome by the tender affection she showed me.

Bella shifted her position and her leg touched my erection again. Her eyes flashed with determination. "It's your turn," she murmured against my mouth as she reached down and wrapped her delicate fingers around me.

I was unprepared for the feelings that her touch stirred in me. No one had ever touched me there. "Ah!" I cried in overwhelming pleasure. "Oh, shit." _Do not come the first time she touches you!_

Bella let go of me and stood up carefully, only swaying a little bit. She looked like a goddess standing naked before me. I wondered if she had even the slightest idea of how stunning she was.

She held out her hand and asked, "Would you stand up?" The confusion must have registered on my face. "You've seen me–all of me. I want to see you, too," she explained.

I loved how bold and sure of herself she was. I gingerly took her hand and stood up, hoping she'd be pleased with what she saw. Bella smiled adoringly at me as her eyes began to drift down my body. Her eyes lit up with mischief as she reached out to touch me again.

"I think we need to take this inside," I said seductively as I swept her up into my arms, hopped lithely out of the tub and carried her toward our bedroom. The house was shrouded in darkness, but the lamps from our bedside tables illuminated my path.

Bella's arms tightened around my neck, she rested her head on my shoulder and lovingly stroked my hair with her fingertips. She kissed my neck and nibbled on my ear as I climbed the stairs at a slow, human pace. I wasn't stalling; I was simply savoring the moment.

After her welcomed assault on my neck, Bella lifted her head from my shoulder and pressed her forehead to mine. "I love you, Edward," she told me sweetly. I never doubted her love for me, but hearing it always made me feel so incredibly blessed.

"I love you, beautiful girl. Forever," I promised. Bella sighed contentedly, rested her head on my shoulder once again then closed her eyes.

She opened them as I stepped through our bedroom door and she tried to mask a shocked gasp.

I tried to hide my panic at her obvious unease.

"It's fine, really. I was just surprised. I'm sorry, Edward. Please, please don't give it another thought," she pleaded.

I didn't even know what she was talking about until I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror that hung over the dresser.

My eyes were red.

Under normal circumstances, I'd find it completely disgusting, but this time it indicated something wonderful. Bella's blood had been absorbed in my body, which meant we may conceive our child tonight. And luckily, according to a conversation I had overheard between Alice and Esme, we were in the right time in Bella's cycle. Sometimes, having meddling family members was beneficial.

"I'm going to put contact lenses in," I told her. I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. Plus, knowing that she was looking into eyes red with her blood would be very distracting to me.

Bella took my face in her hands and pulled me in so we were nose to nose. "Your eyes are just as lovely to me now as they always have been. The way you look at me makes me feel beautiful," she assured me. "The way you look at me gives me the confidence to throw myself at you the way I do." She giggled and kissed me softly. "I don't care what color your eyes are, baby."

"I know, love. But tonight, for our first time, I want you to look into my eyes and see them as you normally see them," I explained. "Just give me a moment."

She nodded in agreement, so I kissed her quickly and carefully set her down on the bed. Within seconds, I had the lenses in, the lights off, candles lit and music playing. I had made a playlist just for this occasion and I'd checked it several times to make sure that Emmett hadn't snuck in any Marvin Gaye or R. Kelly. That was not Bella's and my style. I included songs we'd listened to together as well as some that I'd composed.

Bella sat at the foot of the bed with her feet hanging off. She leaned back, resting on her palms. My wife was an absolute vision. I was immensely grateful for my photographic memory; for this was an image I never wanted to forget.

I stood in front of her and once again, we just stared at each other. All of the nerves I had been feeling faded away. Bella was absolutely correct; we belonged together.

"Bella, my love," I began as I reached out to take her hands. She placed them in mine and allowed me to pull her up. "I love you more than I can even express."

Before she could respond, I pulled back the bedspread then picked her up and laid us down on the bed. I hovered over her, balancing on one hand, as my other hand traveled down her body. I covered her exquisite face with soft kisses. Bella put her arms around me and lightly trailed her fingernails up and down my back.

I kneaded her breast greedily as my lips moved down to her neck. I pinched her nipple softly and reveled in the sounds she was making. Breathy sighs turned into wanton whimpers.

"Please," she begged as her hips started to rise off the bed. "Edward, please touch me."

I removed my hand from her breast and softly brushed it over her ribs. My stomach began to flutter as I was about to touch her for the first time.

I kissed her jaw then moved my mouth up to her ear. "If I do anything you don't like–if it hurts or feels uncomfortable at all, you must tell me right away."

She nodded eagerly as her hips bucked into my hand. I kissed her lips and she whimpered into my mouth as my fingers glided through her silky wetness. Her scent, her intoxicating scent, was almost too overwhelming.

Bella kissed me harder as I took cues from her body to do what she liked. The harder she kissed me, the harder my fingers stroked her. When I began to rub her in a circular motion, her hips couldn't seem to stay still. I pulled my mouth away from hers so I could see her face. She smiled dreamily at me and pressed her head back into the pillow.

"More," she sighed as her eyelids closed. "Please."

I entered her cautiously with just my middle finger. I could feel her body clench around my finger and her eyes popped open. I almost stopped, thinking I'd hurt her, but then she cried out, "Yes, Edward! Yes!"

The heat of her body permeated even my frozen skin and I could feel her walls tighten deliciously around my finger. I knew that I needed to bring her to orgasm again before we made love. There was no way I would last very long once I entered this heaven.

I added my index finger and eased them in and out gently, curling them up slightly on each pass. I kissed her neck softly, concentrating on the pulse point that used to be such a painful temptation for me.

Bella's heart was racing, she was breathing hard and she had kicked off the blankets so I could see her toes curling. "Ah! Right there, baby. Oh Edward, that feels so good," she moaned.

I picked up my rhythm and continued to circle my thumb. Bella's body began to shake as she dug her fingernails into my back before pulling my face to hers again. She kissed me roughly and cried into my mouth as she found release.

I removed my hand and held it awkwardly at my side. Bella put her arms around my neck and used my body as leverage to pull herself up into a sitting position. She grinned at me as she reached down, grabbed my hand, the same hand that had just brought her so much pleasure, and cradled it between us, caressing my damp fingers as she did so.

She kissed my palm then placed it over her heart and whispered, "Thank you."

I shook my head and laughed lightly. "Thank _you_, my love. Seeing you like this…there are no words. You are absolutely breathtaking."

She sighed then rested against the pillows again. "Well, that was fun. But I'm pretty tired, so, goodnight. Love you." Bella closed her eyes and tried to pull the blanket up.

"Not funny," I grumbled as I hovered over her again. "I'm not done with you yet, Mrs. Cullen."

Bella giggled and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm ready, Edward." She lifted her face to kiss me and murmured, "I'm so ready."

"I'm ready, too, love," I promised as I kissed her jaw.

I lifted Bella's knee, hitched it around my waist and positioned myself at her entrance. I somehow resisted the overwhelming urge to just push in. I needed to take this very slowly, both for my sake and hers.

Bella began breathing heavily again. "It's okay, Edward," she assured me. "I love you…please…"

I pressed my forehead gently to hers, allowing enough distance so I could look into her eyes. I felt like her eyes were my anchor. They would keep me from losing control.

"I love you, Bella," I breathed as I pushed in slowly.

It was the most astonishing, remarkable, outstanding, beyond belief feeling I've ever felt. Bella was so very warm inside and her body engulfed me with the most succulent pressure. I didn't think there could never be anything better than this, and I wasn't even halfway in yet.

"Aaaaahhh…" she panted. Bella closed the distance between our lips and let out a low groan into my mouth. She tightened her arms around me, urging me on.

I pushed in a bit further and felt her flinch and squeeze her eyes shut. I knew that it was going to hurt her, even if just for a moment, and it devastated me. I stilled, both in hopes to ease her discomfort and to bask in this amazing feeling.

She opened her eyes, kissed me then whispered, "I'm okay, Edward. Keep going."

"Does it hurt very much? I can stop-" I tried to offer.

"Do not stop," she ordered as she used all of her strength to attempt to pull me forward. Of course, I didn't budge from her tugging on me, but I did finally thrust in all the way very slowly.

"Oh," I moaned. "Oh, Bella, love…" I was finally inside my beautiful wife. How had I resisted her for so long?

I pulled out a bit, and then thrust back in carefully.

Bella had a small smile on her face and tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. "Does it feel good, Edward?"

"Baby," I kissed her hard as I continued to move slowly in her. "You feel so good, my love. So good."

She moaned into my mouth again, but I was having a hard time figuring out if her noises were those of pleasure or pain. "Does it still hurt, sweetheart?"

"No," she answered quickly, but I could hear a trace of reluctance in her voice. I resolved myself to proceed carefully. "It doesn't hurt. It did for a minute, but it doesn't hurt now." Bella wrapped her other leg around my waist and I went even deeper. _Oh, God. I am not going to last long._

She raked her fingernails up and down my back gently and it felt so good, I wanted more.

"Harder," I groaned.

Bella looked at me questioningly. "Your nails on my back. It…feels…really…good…" I managed to choke out.

She dug her nails in deep and shoved her tongue into my mouth. Though our kisses were more aggressive than usual, the love and devotion I felt for her was still the underlying force. I desperately hoped that Bella could sense how much I truly adored her.

"I love you, Bella," I murmured against her mouth.

"Love you, too," she replied, breathless.

I caressed my wife's gorgeous face lovingly, continuing to move in and out of her at a slow pace. Too slow it seemed, but I was still fearful of getting carried away.

"You…um, you can go faster," she offered, tightening her legs around me, urging me on.

"Yeah?" I grunted, unsure.

She nodded, smiled at me and moved her hands from my back to my ass and squeezed. It was so bold and sexy and I loved how confident she had become.

I kissed her neck and moved my hand from her face to her perfect breast, squeezing it lovingly. I lavished the other with equal attention before finally reaching down to stroke her where we were joined.

Her hips bucked and she cried out, "Edward! Oh, yes!" She began to whimper incoherently.

Bella met each thrust as I rubbed her more intensely. I wasn't going to last much longer and I wanted her to feel as wonderful as I did.

"Babe…I'm…" she gasped breathlessly. "I'm going to…"

I quickened my pace, but tried not to let go yet. "Me too, baby. I love you, beautiful girl. I love you so much."

Bella's leg began to shake and she screamed out my name so loudly it almost startled me. "Edward! Yes!"

That was all it took for me to fall. I braced both of my hands on the bed and exploded deep inside of her. "Bella…oh baby…I love you," I mumbled through my final thrusts. I finally stilled but wasn't ready to leave the glorious warmth of her body. We kissed leisurely as she stroked my hair tenderly and affectionately.

I carefully slipped out of her and slumped on top of her, careful not to crush her.

Bella fell back against the bed, her chestnut hair fanning out across the pillows. She smiled up at me like I'd just given her the world. She looked so devastatingly beautiful that I wanted to cry.

"Wow…" she sighed, stretching out the word. Bella's eyes were drooping closed as she languidly extended her arms above her head. She started to twist her hips in an attempt to stretch her muscles, but quickly gave up as it seemed like too much effort. "That was…that was just everything…"

"Yeah," I replied dumbly. I was utterly speechless.

"Hey," she said, reaching her arms out. "Come here." She pulled me down and laid my head on her chest. It felt so opposite of how it should be. I should have been the one holding her.

Yet having my face cuddled up with her breasts was not an opportunity I was going to pass up. I kissed each of her nipples, sucking each one gently. Then I placed a slow, open-mouthed kiss above her heart. She sighed and brushed her lips over my hair.

I finally flipped us over so she was laying half on top of me. I stroked her hair and rubbed her back softly.

"Are you okay?" she murmured against my chest.

I chuckled. "I'm so much better than okay, my love. But I should be asking you. Are you alright, Bella? It didn't seem like I hurt you, but you wouldn't have let me know if I did, so-"

"Don't," she cut me off as she pushed herself up to look at me. "It hurt for a second, but after that…" she paused as a brilliant smile lit up her face. "It was amazing."

I smiled in return, so relieved and completely thrilled with how our night had gone. I kissed her quickly then wrapped my arms around her again. She hummed in pleasure as I held her tightly to me. "It was perfect," she sighed, then yawned.

I pulled the blanket up and tucked it around her to protect her from my cold body. "Sleep, my beautiful wife." I kissed her forehead. "Thank you for the absolute best night of my existence."

Bella yawned again, then asked with hope in her voice, "The best ever? Really?"

As her body relaxed, my eyes drifted over to the photo wall that featured snapshots of some of the best times of my life. Each picture sparked a memory for me of what I had previously thought had been the ultimate in happiness for me: Bella in her prom dress, sleeping peacefully in my arms, her delicate hand with my ring on her finger, throwing her arms around me for our first married kiss–yet this night topped them all by far. But I knew tomorrow may be even better, as every day with Bella had always been better than the last.

"The best _so far_, my love. But I look forward to spending eternity trying to surpass it."

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Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

November 22, 2010


	12. Chapter 10

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers:** tg10781, wytchwmn75, sscana **and** ttharman**

**Chapter Ten**

Bella

"Are you ready to start packing, love?" Edward asked. I turned to look at my gorgeous husband standing in our bedroom doorway and tears immediately flooded my eyes. We'd spent the last three weeks—three glorious weeks—on our island.

We'd made love, swam in the beautiful pool, lounged on the beach, explored the island, cuddled up and read our favorite books, watched sappy, romantic movies and made love some more. It was absolutely perfect and I was simply not ready for our honeymoon to be over. It felt like we were all alone in a little bubble, just the two of us on our island. We'd grown so much closer in these three weeks and I didn't want to live in the real world again just yet.

"Oh baby, what's wrong?" he asked sweetly as he quickly crossed the room and took me in his arms. He patted my back reassuringly, and then let me go so he could wipe my tears away.

"I don't want to leave!" I wailed. I was surprised at my emotional outburst, but I couldn't seem to help it. My hormones were making me feel crazy and out of control. I was either suffering from severe PMS or…

"Bella," Edward began in his most soothing voice. "Please take the test. Please-"

"No!" I cut him off. "It's too soon. It would be totally ridiculous to take the test now." If he reminded me one more time that the brand of test he'd been waving in front of my face could detect pregnancy five days _before_ you even missed your period, I'd lose my damn mind.

My period was only four days late. Four days was nothing. I'd been four days late before and I absolutely refused to get my hopes up just yet. Edward had been begging me to take a pregnancy test since the moment I'd woken up on the morning my period was due. In fact, each time after we made love, he'd look at me like he expected my stomach to start growing before his very eyes.

_The morning after our wedding night, I woke up in Edward's arms. It made me think of the beautiful note he'd written me, promising that I would wake up in his arms every day from now on. It was the best, most comforting feeling in the world. I reached over and grabbed his left hand to touch his wedding band. It was a wonderful reminder that yesterday hadn't been just a fantastic dream. _

"_Good morning, Mrs. Cullen," Edward said cheerfully. "What has you smiling like that before your eyes are even open?" _

"_I had the best dream," I said, opening my eyes and grinning up at him. _

"_What was it about?" he asked, quirking his eyebrow at me._

"_I dreamt that I'd married the most perfect man ever created. He took me to a private island for our honeymoon and we made love until I fell asleep."_

_Edward chuckled. "Wow, sounds like some dream."_

"_Oh, it was," I replied, sitting up quickly to kiss him. When I moved, I realized how sore I was, but sore in the best possible way. "But you know what?" I whispered against his lips. _

"_Tell me," he responded._

"_My real life far surpasses even my wildest dreams," I answered as I swung my leg over his so I was now lying on top of him. We were both still naked and I felt him harden against my leg._

_I pushed myself up so my chest was in his face and my lips were at his ear. I ran my fingers through his hair, kissed his ear and licked his neck softly._

_Edward groaned and shifted his hips against me as he kissed my breasts reverently. After he pressed his lips over my heart, I pushed my body back so I was straddling his thighs. I locked eyes with him as I reached forward and stroked him up and down slowly. His eyes widened in surprise as his entire body shuddered. He quietly muttered, "My sexy little vixen." _

_I smiled and leaned down to press my lips to his again. He moaned into my mouth as I sped up my movements. Obviously I had never done anything like this before, but based on the noises he was making, I was pretty confident that I was doing it right. _

"_Oh baby, that feels so amazing. Love you so much," he murmured against my lips. "Your hot little hand…oh God…you're so perfect…" I pulled my face back to look at him. His eyes were closed and he had the most blissful expression on his beautiful face. _

_Edward began thrusting into my hand and without conscious thought, I scooted forward, lined him up with my entrance and sank down on him. It hurt for a brief moment, but it also felt really good. I moaned so loudly I actually startled myself._

"_Holy hell!" Edward shouted as his eyes flew open. _

_I smiled sheepishly as I pressed my hands to his chest and rolled my hips. Again, I let my instincts guide me and thankfully they continued not to fail me. Once he got over the initial shock of my impaling myself on him, Edward smiled brilliantly as he held me around the waist and began to move with me in the most remarkable way. _

"_Edward, you feel so good," I cried. _

"_Oh, beautiful girl," he moaned. "Feel…so…incredible…" I found the fact that he couldn't even form a sentence to be unbelievably sexy._

_I felt a bit smug seeing and hearing how I was able to bring him such pleasure. I'd wanted him this way for so long, but I was also glad that we waited. Knowing that I was making love with my husband—not my boyfriend or even fiancée—made it more special._

_I bent forward to kiss him and it changed the angle at which we were joined. He was so deep in me and I was rubbing up against him in the most perfect way. It felt so, so good. With just a few more thrusts, we climaxed together. _

_We were both shaking and quivering and smiling like fools. I finally collapsed on top of him in a heap. I could hardly catch my breath. I was utterly exhausted and completely satisfied. _

_After a few minutes, Edward rolled me over and propped himself up on his elbow as he leaned over me. A grateful smile lit up his face and he began peppering my face with gentle kisses. "I really love being married to you," he chuckled as he nuzzled my neck. _

"_Yeah, this marriage thing isn't so bad after all," I giggled. _

_Edward grinned at me and reached down to caress my stomach. He flashed me a questioning look. "Do you think maybe…" he trailed off. _

"_No, probably not," I replied. "I think we definitely need to keep trying."_

"It is not ridiculous," he insisted, breaking me from my memory. "Bella, you're late. We are _trying _to get preg-"

"What you're trying is my patience," I snapped rudely. I slapped my hand over my mouth, immediately regretting treating him so poorly. I'd never spoken that way to Edward and he certainly didn't deserve it. I had never felt this out of control. My eyes filled with tears again.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I sobbed, sinking to the floor. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with me."

"I do, but you're too stubborn to admit it," he muttered quietly. He probably didn't mean for me to hear him. I may not have vampire hearing yet, but I'm not deaf.

"What did you say?" I shouted, suddenly feeling angry and defensive all over again.

Edward put his hands up in surrender. "Sweetheart, I'm not trying to upset you. Nothing I say right now will make you feel better, so I'm just going to leave you alone for a bit, okay? I love you," he whispered and began to back out of the room.

"No!" I yelled, clambering to my feet. "Don't leave me!" I ran to him, jumped up and threw my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He caught me easily and hugged me gently while I literally cried on his shoulder.

We stood there in silence for several minutes. "Why aren't you saying anything?" I asked, worried.

Edward set me carefully on my feet and took my hands in his. "Honestly?" he questioned skeptically.

"Of course," I replied, squeezing his hands.

"I'm a little scared of you right now," he answered, hanging his head.

I burst out laughing. _My vampire husband is afraid of me! _"Edward…"

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "I just don't know what to say. Everything I've said to you in the last few days has just upset you. I'm worried that anything I do will just make you mad."

I pulled him by the hand to the foot of our bed and sat down. Edward fell to his knees in front of me looking so lost. I was overcome with shame and guilt. "I'm so sorry, baby. I know I'm acting nuts and having these crazy mood swings. I always get a little out of sorts before my period-"

"Bella," he interrupted. "I think we both know that is not what is going on here."

My first reaction was to disagree with him, but I stopped myself and nodded in defeat. I'd been in denial for the last few days and it was probably time to face the music.

"Did you know that one of the first indicators of pregnancy is mood swings?" he asked cautiously, likely worried that I was about to snap at him again.

"How do you know?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, aside from two stints in medical school," he laughed, "I've been reading about it online. Normally, I take things I find on the internet with a grain of salt, but it actually seems to be a great resource for parents-to-be."

I felt sick. I'd been biting his head off and flying off the handle while he was reading up on signs of pregnancy. This wonderful man wanted nothing more than to have a child with me and I'd been acting like a crazy bitch.

I stroked his hair in a silent apology. "What are the other early symptoms?" I whispered.

"Fatigue," he said, placing a sweet kiss just under my jaw.

"What else?"

"Headaches and backaches," he replied, reaching around me to rub my lower back, no doubt remembering that I'd complained of being sore just last night.

"And?" I continued.

Edward jumped up quickly and sat behind me on the bed, letting his legs fall on either side of mine. "Tender and swollen breasts." He cupped my breasts gently. "Mmmmm, definitely swollen," he breathed in my ear. "Tender?" he asked.

I slumped against him. "Yes," I admitted reluctantly. "But all of those things you mentioned are symptoms of PMS, too."

"Bella," he practically whined. "Don't you want to know? After what we've gone through to make this possible, aren't you on the edge of your seat to know if it worked?" Edward got up and started pacing and tugging at his hair.

"I could just call Alice, but I want to do this the traditional way," he said, wistfully. In my overly sensitive ears, it almost sounded like a threat, but I reined in my craziness because in my heart, I knew he didn't mean it like that.

We'd been strategically avoiding contact with Alice because I, too, wanted to do this the right way. I was just scared out of my mind for either possibility. I would be completely devastated to see a negative pregnancy test. Still, as much as we'd prepared and jumped through hoops to make conceiving a child possible, motherhood was one scary prospect! I wasn't ready to face it yet. I wanted to spend one more day of our honeymoon blissfully unaware. I hoped he'd let me stall for just a little bit longer.

"Alright, I'll take the test," I acquiesced. He smiled in victory. "Just give me one more day, okay? I'll do it first thing tomorrow morning if we can stay here for a few more days." I looked up at him and pouted. "Please, baby?"

"Okay, love. If you want to stay, we can stay," he relented. "I just thought you'd want to get home and see Charlie."

My shoulders shook as I began to cry again.

"Damn it. I can't do anything right. I am such a failure as a husband," Edward said, falling to his knees in front of me again. He rubbed my thighs soothingly. "I'm sorry I said anything. I know you're still upset about what happened with your dad."

I choked back a sob.

"I'm going to shut up now," he said glumly as he sat next to me on the bed and put his arms around me.

"You are not a failure as a husband," I assured him tearfully. "Don't ever say that again. You're wonderful." I turned and buried my face in his chest.

Edward held me and kissed the top of my head, but as promised, he didn't say a word.

Charlie was still very upset with me and I just wasn't ready to face him yet. I had called him a week ago to tell him that I had some news, and he did not take it well.

"_Hi, Dad," I said when he answered the phone. "How are you?"_

"_Bells! I'm so happy to hear from you," he said excitedly. "How's the honeymoon? Are you having fun? Wait, don't answer that. I don't wanna know." He cleared his throat uneasily._

_I giggled. Edward and I had been having such a good time together that neither of us had contacted our family. "I'm great, thanks. It's beautiful here."_

"_I'm glad. Alice told me a little bit about the island. Quite the coincidence with the name, huh?" he asked. I guessed that Alice hadn't told him that we actually owned Belle Île. With Charlie, less was usually more._

"_So, have you been eating at the diner every night or has Sue been around?" I asked, changing the subject. I was hoping that Sue had been spending time with my dad. I hated to think of him being all alone._

_He chuckled. "Yeah, she's been over a few times. I took Seth fishing and it turns out Sue can cook fish almost as good as you can."_

_I smiled. I could tell that he was completely smitten with Sue without him saying anything._

_I knew that Edward could hear Charlie through the phone and he winked at me. Then he nodded, trying to encourage me to tell my dad what I called to tell him. I was stalling, of course. _

"_That's great. So, um, I have s-s-something I need to tell you," I stuttered nervously._

"_It'll be okay," Edward whispered as he sat behind me on the chaise lounge on the deck and rubbed my shoulders._

"_Alright…" Charlie said, the hesitation in his voice obvious even through the phone line._

_I paused, not quite sure how to tell him. _

"_Bella, tell me already. You've got me worried here. Is everything okay?" Charlie asked, concerned._

"_Do you want me to tell him?" Edward asked softly._

_I shook my head. My dad would definitely want to hear this from me._

"_Yes, everything is fine. It's just...EdwardandI decidednottostartcollege untilnextyear..." I said in a rush as all of the air left my lungs._

"_Excuse me?" he asked with irritation in his voice. _

"_Edward and I decided not to start college until next year," I repeated more intelligibly. My heart began to race. Edward had suggested that we let Charlie believe we had gone to New Hampshire after our honeymoon, but I didn't want to lie to my dad. I'd be telling him enough lies soon enough._

"_You're not going to college?" he bellowed. _

"_I will be going to college, Dad. Just not this year," I explained. That was still true. I figured after a few years, I'd be safe around crowds of humans again. "We decided we wanted to travel for a while. Ya know, see the world a little bit and then go to school."_

_I heard a commotion on the other end of the phone. It sounded like a chair scraping across the floor then slamming into a table. "I don't believe this, Isabella." Charlie was a bit out of breath and I guessed he'd started pacing around the kitchen. I could just picture how red his face must be._

"_I knew this was a mistake," he muttered angrily. _

"_What do you mean?" I asked_

"_Letting you get married!" he shouted._

_I turned to look at Edward and his mouth was moving but I couldn't make out what he was saying. His hands were balled into fists. When he met my eyes, he reached out, gesturing for me to hand him the phone. I shook my head and mouthed, "I will handle this."_

"_Charlie, you didn't _let_ me do anything. I am an adult, thank you very much," I responded petulantly. I took a few deep breaths to try to calm myself down. How dare he say that he let me get married? I knew that my father wouldn't be pleased, but I certainly never expected him to react this badly._

"_Isabella Marie Swan," Charlie began. _

"_Cullen," I snapped, cutting him off. _

"_What?" he grumbled._

"_My last name is Cullen," I said through clenched teeth. _

_I heard him inhale sharply and I immediately felt guilty. This was going nowhere fast. I needed to try to redirect the conversation. I'd be losing my close relationship with my dad soon and I didn't want to waste precious time arguing. _

"_Dad," I said softly. "I don't want to fight with you."_

_I heard him take a few deep breaths of his own. "I don't want to fight either, Bells." He paused, clearly still trying to calm himself. "Honey, your education is just so important though. I mean, you got into Dartmouth. I was so proud…" _

"_I'm sorry," I whispered, tearing up. _

"_I don't want to talk about this on the phone, Bella. We can talk when you get back," he said, the disappointment obvious in his voice. "You are coming back to Forks before you start travelling, right?"_

_I nodded, too lost in my own thoughts to realize that he obviously couldn't see me. _

"_Hello? You still there?" Charlie asked._

_I looked at Edward and he gave me a reassuring smile, though I could tell he was not happy with the way Charlie had spoken to me._

"_Yeah, we'll be back soon. Another week or so," I responded. _

"_Alright then," he said sadly. _

"_I love you, Dad," I told him._

_He sighed heavily. "Love you, too, kid." _

_I waited until I heard the click of him hanging up the phone before I burst into tears._

Knowing that I'd upset my father so much broke my heart. I knew that I was making the right decision, but hearing that your parent is disappointed in you is like taking a punch to the gut. Thankfully, Renee had reacted much better when I told her. The free spirit in her was excited that I'd get to see the world. I didn't know how much travelling Edward and I would actually get to do in the next few months since travelling during pregnancy…

I suddenly felt very nauseated at the realization that I mostly likely was carrying a life inside of me. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom and my wonderful, devoted husband held my hair for me while rubbing my back soothingly.

I didn't know if I was feeling sick because I finally allowed myself to admit that I might be pregnant or because the morning sickness was already beginning.

Edward was trying not to look smug as I brushed my teeth, but I caught that look in his eye when I met his gaze in the mirror. I glared at him. "It could be food poisoning, you know," I said snidely. I didn't believe that for a moment, but he was starting to get on my nerves again.

He laughed heartily. I wanted to cry at how devastatingly handsome he was and how young and carefree he looked when he laughed like that. "Right, of course," he said, shaking his head. "How are you feeling now?"

"I feel fine," I confessed. As quickly as the nausea had hit me, it had gone away just as fast. It was very strange.

Edward smiled and nodded as his eyes drifted down to my stomach.

"Quit looking at me like that," I said with a nervous laugh. Now that I wasn't quite so deep in denial, it was kind of cute to see him like this. He was so excited and our child was going to have the best daddy. _I am a very lucky woman._

"Sorry, baby," he said as he took my hand. "Come on, we need to order you some more food to be delivered if we're going to stay here for a few extra days."

He led me to the office and I stretched out on the leather couch while he sat at the desk. "What would you like me to order?" he asked. "Is there anything you're really _craving_?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're really loving this, aren't you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, feigning ignorance. "I simply want to make sure I order what my lovely bride wants."

"Uh huh," I said, standing up and walking towards him. "Just order whatever. You know what I like." I stopped in front of the desk as he typed up the order.

"And as for what I'm craving," I said in my most flirtatious voice. Edward looked at me expectantly. I whipped my tank top off and threw it at him. "I'm craving sex in the pool with my sexy husband." I turned quickly and began to run towards the staircase.

I heard Edward growl behind me, then not even a second later, I was thrown over his shoulder and carried down the stairs. By the time we made it to the deck, all of our clothing had been removed.

I was still hanging off his back as Edward jumped in the pool. Within moments, he had me pinned to the side and my legs wrapped around his waist as he kissed me senseless. "You're very good at distracting me, my love," he said as he sucked lightly on my neck. "Not that I'm complaining."

"I wasn't trying to distract you," I told him breathlessly. "I just want you all the time."

"Even when I'm getting on your nerves?" he asked as he reached under the water to touch me. His perfect, long fingers knew just how to drive me crazy.

I laughed at how absolutely adorable he was. "Yes, even then."

A few moments later when he slowly entered me, I forgot all about why I'd been so annoyed earlier. "Ahhhhhh," I sighed. I felt so complete. Even though it had only been mere hours since we'd last made love, my body missed him.

"Oh, Bella," he moaned. "It still amazes how good you feel, how warm you are inside. I'll never get enough."

I twisted my hands into his hair and smashed my lips against his as I pushed my hips forward to meet each of his thrusts. "I love you, Edward," I moaned into his mouth. "You feel so perfect inside me."

My words spurred him on as he quickened his pace. "I will make love to you slowly later," he grunted. "I just can't go slowly right now."

"Fuck, yes! Faster…harder…" I cried as I dug my heels into his back. Edward and I had gotten very comfortable expressing ourselves in these last three weeks, otherwise I may have blushed at the dirty words coming out of my mouth. Thankfully, Edward seemed to really like it.

We moved together in perfect sync until our climaxes hit us and we fell over the edge together. I was gasping for breath as Edward rested his head against my shoulder.

"I love you so much, Bella," he breathed in my ear. "Anytime you get that craving again, you just let me know."

I giggled. "I will, I promise."

.

.

I could feel Edward's gaze on me before I even opened my eyes. "I know you're awake, beautiful girl," he sang cheerfully. I opened my eyes and saw him sitting up in bed practically vibrating with excitement. He looked like a little boy waiting to open his presents on Christmas morning. _I hope our son is identical to him. _"Come on now. Get your sexy ass in the bathroom and make me the happiest man in the world."

Tears immediately began flowing down my cheeks. _Oh great, here I go with the waterworks again. _"Edward, it's too much pressure," I whimpered. "I'll be sad enough if it's negative, but knowing how devastated you'll be…" My heart suddenly felt very heavy in my chest.

"Shit," he hissed. "Bella, baby, I am so sorry. I'm such a fool." He pulled me into his arms and stroked my hair. "If that test is negative, we'll just try again. And think of how much fun that will be. Please don't feel pressured, love. We're in this together. Okay?"

I nodded against his chest.

We were quiet for a few minutes until he finally asked, "Are you ready?"

Again, I just nodded. I sat up and threw on the t-shirt Edward had worn the day before. I couldn't imagine finding out that I was going to be a mother while naked. It just seemed wrong.

Edward must have felt the same way since he quickly stepped into a pair of sleep-pants. "I'll just wait right here," he said as he sat on the side of the bed facing the ensuite bathroom.

My heart was hammering away as I walked toward the bathroom. Edward had left the test for me on the counter. I stared at it for several minutes. This tiny little piece of plastic was about to change my entire life.

After taking the test, I set it on the counter, washed my hands and returned to the bedroom. I sat next to Edward and grabbed his hand.

"Three minutes," I said robotically. He nodded and squeezed my hand reassuringly.

Edward must have been counting the seconds in his mind because a few minutes later, his head popped up as if a timer had just gone off.

"You go look," I insisted. "I can't do it"

He leaned over and placed a sweet, lingering kiss on my lips. "No matter what it says, I love you forever."

"Love you, too," I responded, barely above a whisper.

Edward got up off the bed and went into the bathroom. I hung my head and stared at my feet, afraid to even look at him.

When I finally looked up, Edward was standing in front of me wearing the most dazzling smile I had ever seen. "Congratulations, Mama."

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

January 27, 2011


	13. Chapter 11

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers:**Meg23287** and **ttharman**

Authors Note: Can you spot the line I borrowed from Stephenie Meyer's _Midnight Sun_?

**Chapter Eleven**

Edward

_Father_

_Papa_

_Dad_

_Daddy_

I stared at the plus sign in the window of the pregnancy test that Bella had placed on the bathroom counter and those words flooded my thoughts. My mind worked quickly as I continued to gaze at this little piece of plastic and I couldn't help but wonder what my child would call me.

I'd always called my father, "Father." When Emmett talked about his human life, he'd refer to his father as "Papa." We sometimes called Carlisle "Dad." In this moment, when I faced the knowledge that my entire existence was about to change, I realized, to my amazement, that I couldn't wait to be called "Daddy."

Although Bella had been displaying all of the signs of pregnancy, I still couldn't help but be astonished that it had worked. My beautiful girl and I had created a child. Besides Bella, that plus sign was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

After tearing my eyes from the test, I glanced up at the mirror and I realized that the smile on my face was one I'd never seen before. I'd never looked so happy, but there was also something different about me that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I hadn't aged in nearly a century, but I suddenly felt like I looked older, more mature, more father-like. _Perhaps becoming a parent ages you. _I chuckled at my ridiculousness and made my way back to the bedroom.

Bella sat on the edge of our bed staring at her feet. When she heard me enter the room, she finally looked up. I didn't need to read her mind to know how anxious she was. Her expressive eyes told me that she was nervous, excited and absolutely terrified.

I was certain that she could tell by the goofy smile I wore that the test was positive, but I still couldn't help but say it aloud. "Congratulations, Mama." I wasn't sure what Bella would like our child to call her. I always called my mother, "Mama," so saying that just felt right to me.

Bella sat frozen for what felt like eternity before she finally blinked. "Really?" she whispered nervously. "We're going to have a baby?"

I nodded happily.

Bella gasped, slapped her hand over her mouth and dashed to the bathroom.

I followed after her, swiftly pulling her hair back as she slumped over the toilet. I hated seeing her sick but I quickly realized I'd have to get used to it. Unfortunately, some women felt sick through their entire pregnancy.

Bella was _actually_ pregnant and her body was going through so many changes. It was truly astounding what a woman's body could do. Soon, Bella's stomach would swell and I'd be able to feel our child moving inside her. I wondered if I'd be able to hear him or her as well. _Don't get your hopes up; he or she is half Swan, after all_.

Thinking of our child, currently forming in Bella's womb, made that elated feeling return and a happy laugh escaped my throat before I could stop it. Laughing while my wife was sick was a terrible thing to do and I immediately stifled myself.

Bella groaned and collapsed back against me. "I can't believe you're laughing at me," she cried. "That is so mean, Edward!"

"Oh, sweetheart, I would never laugh at you," I explained. "I was just thinking about pregnancy and morning sickness when it hit me that you really _are_ pregnant. It was just a happy laugh that I couldn't seem to control."

She crawled into my lap, rested her head just under my chin and wrapped her arms tightly around me. I felt her body begin to shake.

"Shhhh, Bella," I soothed, hating so much to see her cry. "It's okay, love. I know you're scared." I stroked her hair and held her tightly as I continued to whisper softly to her.

A few moments later Bella burst out laughing. "Oh, I'm terrified! But in a good way. It's just… I really _am_ pregnant!" she laughed. She hadn't been crying at all and I realized, after all we'd been through together, her reactions could still surprise me. She pulled away from my hold, grabbed my face and leaned in to press a loud, wet kiss to my cheek.

"Congratulations, Daddy," she said, her lips ghosting over my cheek. "That's what I wanted to say before your son or daughter decided to wreak havoc on my stomach."

Bella jumped up and calmly walked to the sink. She splashed water on her face as I sat there smiling like a fool. _Your son or daughter…_ I really loved the sound of that.

"Son or daughter? You're not so sure about us having a boy now?" I teased.

She shrugged. "I still think it's a boy, but I guess we'll know for sure in a few months." Bella giggled happily as she began brushing her teeth.

"I'm really sorry about yesterday," Bella mumbled, the toothbrush still in her mouth. "I'm sorry for the last few days, really."

I stood behind her, meeting her eyes in the mirror as she rinsed with mouthwash. "Sorry for what?" I asked, feigning ignorance. My normally calm, cool and collected—even under extreme circumstances involving vampires and werewolves—wife had been acting…well, a little nuts.

Bella rolled her eyes then turned to face me. "Oh, my sweet husband," she began as she patted my cheek lovingly. "You don't have to pretend that I haven't been acting like an absolute lunatic." She laughed nervously and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I was almost as sure as you were that I was pregnant. I was just really scared to face it."

"You _are_ happy though, yes?" I murmured as I pressed my lips to the top of her head. I needed the reassurance that Bella was just as happy about our wonderful news as I was.

She looked up at me, tears welling up in her eyes. "You are giving me _everything_, Edward. Things I never even knew I wanted. I never imagined I'd get married, but I absolutely love being your wife." The unshed tears finally fell from her eyes as a breathtaking smile lit up her face.

"And now that I know I'm carrying your child…that it's really real…I love this little person more than I could have even dreamed. We are going to be parents, thanks to you." She took my hand as she rubbed her stomach. "So, to answer your question: yes. I am happy. So very happy."

Bella threw her arms around me again as she burst into uncontrollable sobs. "Happy tears," she assured me when she finally calmed down. "I'm sorry for being so...I don't know…up and down, but I can't seem to help it. Damn hormones."

I chuckled. "Your body is going through a lot right now. You just go ahead and cry when you need to, okay?"

Bella pressed her lips to my chest. "Thank you." She sighed then looked up at me sheepishly. "So, um, I know I said I wasn't craving anything…"

I grinned. "Well, that's not exactly true, love."

She blushed and giggled quietly, no doubt thinking about our lovemaking in the pool the day before. "Oh, I'm still craving _that. _But maybe later, 'kay?"

I patted her bottom and kissed her lips. "I'm going to hold you to that. Now, about this other craving…"

"_Please_ tell me we have eggs," she whined. I found the fact that she had food cravings adorable. "I seriously feel like I _need _to have a mushroom and cheddar omelet right now."

I took her hand and began to lead her to the kitchen. "Coming right up."

While I cooked Bella's breakfast—_thank you, Esme, for encouraging me to watch the Food Network so I could cook for my bride_—we discussed how we were going to tell our family the big news. We realized, of course, that Alice knew before we did, but I was certain she would keep it to herself until we had a chance to tell everyone ourselves.

We agreed to tell my family first, since they already knew that we were trying. It was so early in Bella's pregnancy that we decided not to tell Charlie or Renee just yet. We planned to wait until the end of her first trimester or until she started to show; whichever came first.

Bella was concerned about how her parents would feel about our starting a family so soon in our marriage. I assured her, and silently prayed I was correct, that they'd have no choice but to be pleased when they saw how happy and blessed we were. I hoped I wasn't making her false promises.

I was actually quite worried about how my father-in-law would react. The way he'd spoken to Bella about putting off college didn't sit well with me. I understood where he was coming from, to a point. He obviously had no idea that Bella would literally have all the time in the world to complete her education. When he'd yelled at her and expressed his disappointment, I had to watch Bella's face crumple in pain and hold her as she cried and it made me ache.

I was fearful that he'd react as badly, or likely even worse, to our joyous news. I looked at my beautiful wife, happily spooning eggs that she'd subsequently loaded with hot sauce, into her mouth. I smiled at her and she winked back at me. She was glowing. Bella was truly happy and I didn't want anything to put a damper on that.

"You look so happy," I said lovingly.

She smiled brilliantly and said, "What can I say? I'm just so in love…"

I smiled cheerfully until she finished her thought. "…with this delicious omelet." She giggled and shoveled in another huge bite.

"Oh, Mrs. Cullen, you wound me," I said with mock sadness. "But if makes you this happy, I'll cook eggs for you every day."

And for the remainder of our stay on Belle Île, I did.

.

.

We returned to Forks the day before Bella's nineteenth birthday. Neither Bella nor I had mentioned her birthday and I wondered if she'd be silly enough to think I'd forgotten.

_They're here! Finally!_

Alice's thoughts were the loudest of my family's as we drove up the long driveway. She had kept our secret, but based on the text messages she'd been sending, begging me to come home, she was close to the end of her rope.

I pulled up to the house and Alice was on the porch jumping up and down like a child. She ran to Bella's door and nearly ripped it off in her haste to get to Bella.

"Welcome home!" she shouted as she, a little too roughly in my opinion, pulled Bella out of the car and into her arms. "I missed you so much, Bella!" _I missed you too, Edward. A little bit._

I got out of the car and walked around to their side. "Take it easy, Alice," I warned.

"Oh, of course," she said with regret in her voice. "I'm so sorry, Bella. Are you okay?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "I'm fine," she scoffed. "Edward's over-protectiveness has reached new heights lately."

_He is being way more over-protective than normal, _Rosalie thought. _It must have worked. They're so lucky…_

"So much for being able to tell the family ourselves," I muttered as I took Bella's hand.

Bella looked at me questioningly as I led her up to the house and into the living room. The rest of the family was gathered to greet us. They looked at us expectantly, but no one said anything.

"Um, hi everyone," Bella said shyly, clearly hating being the center of attention as much as ever. She stumbled as she nervously shuffled her feet. I put my arm around her to steady her.

Emmett laughed. "I sure have missed you, Bella. Things are so much more fun with you here." He looked her up and down as I shot daggers at him. _Her boobs look bigger. She's definitely knocked up. Good job, Eddie. I told you that you wouldn't kill her. I expect all the dirty details on how exactly that went down…if you know what I mean. _

I glared at my oaf of a brother and he just grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. _Idiot._

"Welcome home, you two," Esme said kindly, ignoring the exchange between Emmett and me. _Bella is absolutely glowing. I don't want to ask, but if they don't tell us soon, I'm going to burst!_

I grinned at Esme and her face lit up.

"They all know, don't they?" Bella asked me softly, pulling on me to bring my ear close to her mouth. "I thought you said Alice wouldn't tell them."

"She didn't," I replied, knowing that my family could hear our quiet conversation. "Go ahead and tell them, love. I think they'd like to hear you announce our good news."

Bella rolled her eyes. "As if they can't hear every word we're saying right now."

Carlisle smiled warmly at her while Jasper let out a low chuckle.

"Okay, I'll play along," she said quietly. She turned and looked at the smiling faces of our family and took my hand to rest upon her stomach. "We're having a baby!"

"Group hug!" Emmett shouted as he pulled us all together. In all of our years living as a family, we'd never felt more connected than at this moment.

Carlisle caught my eye and beamed at me. _I feel so blessed that the boy who became my first son is now going to make me a grandfather. Congratulations, my son. _

I nodded at him in a silent thank you.

_Aunt Rosalie. Auntie Rose. I like that. _Rose elbowed me in the ribs and smiled at me. "I'm really happy for you."

I elbowed her back and mussed her hair. "Thank you, Auntie Rose."

She smoothed out her hair, annoyed that I'd dare to touch it. She looked at Bella and smiled kindly. While she was still envious, she truly did not begrudge us our happiness and I appreciated that.

When we finally pulled apart, Alice began jumping up and down and clapping. "Bella, wait until you see all of the maternity clothes I've bought you!"

"I can't wait," Bella replied sarcastically.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Carlisle asked. "Have you been taking your vitamins?"

Bella nodded. "I've been pretty tired and I've had some morning sickness, but I feel okay otherwise. And yes, I've been taking my vitamin with lunch every day." Then her stomach growled loudly and she blushed in embarrassment knowing we'd all heard it.

"Oh, Bella, you must be famished," Esme said as she took Bella's hand and led her to the kitchen while I followed behind them. "What would you and my grandchild like to eat?"

Bella looked over her shoulder and smiled at me.

"Eggs," I said, grinning. "With extra hot sauce."

.

.

"Happy Birthday, beautiful girl," I whispered in Bella's ear. She was just beginning to stir and she wasn't quite awake yet.

"I was hoping you forgot," she groaned as she threw her arm over her face.

"Silly, Bella," I admonished. "I didn't know it then, but nineteen years ago when your life began, my life began as well. It is definitely a cause for celebration."

"Stop being sweet," she ordered petulantly. "I hate birthdays." She sat up abruptly and stretched her arms over her head. "Now I'm _two _years older than you. This sucks."

I laughed. She was just so adorable.

"Can I try to cheer you up?" I asked as I covered her face with kisses. "I bet I can make you forget about everything, for a least a little while."

"Won't everyone hear us?" she asked, alarmed.

"No one else is here," I breathed in her ear. "They were kind enough to leave the newlyweds all alone." I kissed down her neck and gently squeezed her gorgeous, slightly larger than normal, breast through her purple lace nightgown.

"Mmmmm," she moaned. She raked her fingernails up and down my back, knowing how crazy it made me. "That feels so good."

I reached down and helped her pull off her nightgown. She lay before me in nothing but a pair of tiny purple panties and I was as awestruck as ever at her beauty. She was exquisite.

"Beautiful," I whispered as I kissed her chest and sucked very lightly on her nipple.

"Yes, Edward," she whimpered. Pregnancy had made her more sensitive in certain areas and I was having a wonderful time discovering them.

Bella dug her fingernails harder into my back. Now that we'd been intimate so many times and I knew the restraint I was capable of, I wasn't as fearful of losing control. Still, I had to be careful. My instinct was to rip the panties off of her and take her hard and fast.

Instead, I carefully removed her panties, stroked her gently with my fingers until she was writhing under me, then I entered her very slowly. _Heaven. _

"Oh, yes!" Bella shouted. "So good…you always feel so good." She took my face in her hands and kissed me passionately as she locked her ankles together around my hips.

My movements became faster and not as careful as our new position allowed me to go deeper, but Bella met each of my thrusts with equal fervor. She roughly pulled at my hair as I kissed her neck, shoulder and her beautiful collarbone.

My mind flashed to a time, not so long ago, when I first admired the mesmerizing way her collarbones curled away from the hollow beneath her throat. I was so wildly attracted to Bella and it was such a foreign feeling to me then. As happy as simply talking to her had made me then, I recalled that feeling of immense sadness I had, thinking I would never be able to touch her in the way I'd just realized I wanted to.

And now that shy girl, who had unknowingly tempted me in so many ways, was my wife. I _could_ touch her, and did so often. Despite all of my fears, I had never hurt her. Not only had I never hurt her, I was able to bring her tremendous pleasure. My joy was indescribable.

"I love you," Bella whispered as she pulled my face to hers. She looked into my eyes and squeezed her muscles tightly creating the most delicious feeling. "You feel so amazing, baby. I love when you're inside me."

"Oh, fuck," I groaned. I didn't often curse in the presence of a lady, but just couldn't help myself. Her words drove me mad with lust. I adored how vocal she was about what she wanted and what she liked. "Bella, I can't even begin to tell you how perfect you feel. So good, love. So, so good."

I flipped us over without breaking our connection. Bella flashed me a wicked grin as she began bouncing up and down on me until she found a rhythm that had her crying out in pleasure. I watched in amazement as her face contorted in bliss. Her breathing was erratic as her orgasm ripped through her. The way her muscles clenched tightly around me had me following quickly.

Bella collapsed on top of me, panting and quivering. I gathered her in my arms and rubbed her back gently. I smoothed her wild hair away from her face and she looked up at me adoringly. I kissed her forehead sweetly then kissed her warm, soft lips.

She sighed contentedly, curled herself around me and ran her fingers up and down my torso, drawing lazy circles on my stomach. We were quiet for several minutes, just enjoying being wrapped in each other's arms.

Finally, Bella broke the silence. "I just realized that this is my last birthday."

I was careful to show no emotion. "How does that make you feel?" I asked.

"Well, Dr. Freud…" Bella responded sarcastically. "I am very happy with the life I've chosen. And I hope my husband is as well." She looked pointedly at me.

I had accepted Bella's choice and in truth, I was happy about it. But hearing the words "last birthday" was rather disconcerting to me. Still, as she reminded me, she'd made her choice and it was one that allowed me to keep her forever. I couldn't be anything but pleased about that.

"I am," I promised. "But I hope you realize that September thirteenth will continue to be a holiday in my eyes."

Bella rolled her eyes and muttered, "Wonderful." I laughed.

"So where is everyone?" she asked.

"They are putting the finishing touches on your birthday present," I explained. "And in case you're wondering, there will be no party and no wrapped gifts." I attempted to appear nonchalant when referring to the disastrous party that Alice had put together last year. But really, if I allowed myself to think too much about it, I'd lose my temper and refuse to let anyone near Bella today.

"No party, huh? That's a relief," she said as she sat up and swung her feet over the side of the bed. She stood up and stretched and I tried not to ogle her too much.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked as she began to move away from the bed.

"Shower," she said as she glanced flirtatiously over her shoulder at me. "Care to join me?"

Before she'd even finished asking, I swept her up into my arms and carried her to the bathroom.

.

.

After Bella took her birthday call from Renee, called Charlie to confirm plans to meet for dinner, and ate her breakfast –eggs, of course– we made our way to see Bella's birthday surprise. It was a short run, but a nice leisurely walk, to our destination.

Esme had the brilliant idea to restore the old cottage on our property so we could have our privacy while still being near our family. It was close enough that we could get to the house quickly, but far enough that I couldn't hear them and they couldn't hear us.

The entire family had pitched in to make it a home for us and I couldn't wait to see it. I had caught a few glimpses in their minds, but I'd yet to see everything. Meanwhile, Bella had no idea where we were headed.

I held her hand as we walked slowly through the woods.

"My birthday present is in the woods?" Bella asked skeptically.

"I hope you don't mind, but this is actually a gift for the three of us," I answered, patting her stomach.

"Now I'm even more curious," she responded, looking puzzled. We were walking on a path that had just been created. Our family had cleared trees and even planted shrubbery along the sides. It was also wide enough for an all-terrain vehicle to pass through easily. If Bella noticed, she didn't say anything.

We finally reached the stream and crossed over it using the bridge that had recently been built. It was solidly built, with close-set rails, so you could see the stream flowing on either side, but not wide enough for a child born with even a fraction of Emmett's curiosity to get stuck or slip through.

I guessed this had been Emmett's project since each piece of wood was painted a different color. It looked like something that belonged at a children's playground. I rolled my eyes, thinking at first that he'd done that to annoy me, but Bella's reaction changed my mind.

"This is so cute," Bella said referring to the multi-colored, child friendly bridge. "Oh, I know! They built us a play house for the baby, right? It's a little premature since it'll be over two years before he can play in it, but it's so sweet of them."

I just shook my head and kissed her temple. "It's not a play house for the baby, love."

We were close enough that I could hear Alice's thoughts. _A play house is such a good idea! Why didn't I think of that? We are so building one!_

I laughed and Bella looked at me, confused.

"You've just given Alice a new project," I explained vaguely as we approached the cottage. I looked over at Bella and her eyes widened when she finally spotted it.

The cottage was carefully constructed from medium-sized grey stones. They looked rough from a distance, but I knew that each stone had been carefully examined to ensure that no sharp edges would cause harm to little hands, or to my accident-prone Bella. Flatter stones made up the roof. The original roof, Esme's research had revealed, had been thatched, but had been replaced due to rot and mold from the persistent rain in our beloved Forks. Ivy crept up the sides of the house, curling around the newly installed windows which featured a glass restricting the light so as not to cause sparkling inside the house and invite questions from inquiring minds. Behind one of those windows a padded bench had been created to give my bride a comfortable spot to wile away the hours lost in her favorite books, or to watch the changing night sky in the future as our little one slept.

The cottage was only 1500 square feet, but I liked that it was quaint and cozy. Esme had planted the same purple flowers out front as she had at our house on Belle Île and that small detail made it immediately feel like home to me.

"This is a house," Bella stated, stunned. "They're giving us a house?"

"Well, technically, it's a cottage," I said with a grin. "We're newlyweds, we're having a baby. Our family thought we deserved some privacy, but they still want us close. Its kind of perfect, don't you think?"

She nodded, wiping a tear from her eye.

"It was built over a hundred years ago," I continued. "It's been restored, but I'm told it still retains it's natural charm. Would you like to go inside?"

She nodded again and took my hand. I rolled my eyes at the giant red ribbon that Alice had stuck to the door.

_You said no wrapping paper, Edward. _Alice thought._ You didn't say anything about bows. _

Our family was gathered to greet us and after quickly wishing Bella a happy birthday and another Emmett-organized group hug, they left us to explore our new home.

I followed Bella as she went from room to room.

The living area had a sofa, loveseat, wall-mounted television and a fireplace. I had seen a meticulously stacked woodpile outside the house before we'd entered. It appeared that Esme and Alice had created another project to keep Emmett from "helping."

The kitchen had new appliances, but they were on the smaller side so as not to overwhelm the space. Bella opened the refrigerator and giggled when she saw three dozen eggs and a jumbo sized bottle of hot sauce with a bow stuck to it.

The smaller bedroom was empty. I had requested that they leave it unfurnished. I wanted the opportunity for Bella and me to pick out things for the baby together.

Our bedroom was a scaled-down replica of our bedroom on Belle Île. It would always bring back fond memories of our honeymoon. Alice had gone the extra mile and replicated the photo wall from our house on Bella's island. She had made sure to show me through her thoughts where she had stashed the extra frames in the cottage in order for us to add to the photographs as we made new memories as a couple and eventually, a family.

Bella opened the closet and found that all of our clothes and shoes had been neatly arranged for us, along with several new items that Alice had picked out. I recognized the green maternity dress immediately and smiled at the memory of Alice's vision of us on Christmas. I knew well enough not to look for the sneakers which had also been present in the vision. Alice would never willingly provide them to Bella, no matter what her premonition showed.

"This is amazing," Bella sighed happily as she stood in front of the mirror above the dresser and locked eyes with me. "I love it."

I stood behind her and fastened the necklace I'd bought around her neck. It was a gold necklace with diamonds and emeralds. Emerald will be the baby's birth stone, but if he comes early, it'll be diamond. I wanted to cover both bases.

"Happy Birthday, my love," I whispered and kissed her ear.

She turned and wrapped her arms around me. I was expecting her to complain about me spending money on a gift for her, but to my surprise, she didn't. "Thank you, Edward. I love you."

"I love you, my beautiful girl," I replied as I kissed the top of her head.

Bella sighed and relaxed against me. "Your family is so supportive of us. First the house on the island and now this… I mean, look at the work they put into that adorable bridge. They're so happy about the baby. We're really lucky to have them."

"We are very lucky," I agreed.

Bella's heart began to race and I could actually feel it hammering away against my chest.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" I asked, worried.

She sighed heavily and blew out a long breath. "I'm really nervous about seeing my dad. I hate that he's upset with me."

I knew nothing I could say would alleviate her worries so I just continued to hold her.

"And I feel like he's going to take one look at me and know I'm pregnant. Then he'll have even more reasons to be mad at me," she said tearfully.

"Oh, love, that's not going to happen," I told her. "You're not showing yet, and you won't for a while. He's not going to know until you're ready to tell him."

"Maybe we should just tell him today," she said softly. "I think I want to get it over with."

"Whatever you want," I said. "And it'll be fine. We're hopelessly in love, we're married, we're financially stable, so what can he say? I really think he's going to happy for us."

_I hope._

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

May 4, 2011


	14. Chapter 12

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers:**ttharman**, **sscana** and **meg23287**

**Chapter Twelve**

Bella

"This is amazing," I sighed happily as I stood in front of the mirror above the dresser and locked eyes with Edward. "I love it." The cottage was absolutely perfect. As much as I loved my new family, I was glad that Edward and I now had a place of our own.

Edward stood behind me and fastened a gold necklace around my neck.

"Happy Birthday, my love," he whispered and kissed my ear.

I turned and wrapped my arms around him. I'm sure he expected that I would complain about him spending money on me, but I was slowly getting used to his generosity. I knew he wouldn't let my birthday pass without giving me a gift. "Thank you, Edward. I love you."

"I love you, my beautiful girl," he replied sweetly.

I sighed and relaxed against his chest. "Your family is so supportive of us. First the house on the island and now this… I mean, look at the work they put into that adorable bridge. They're so happy about the baby. We're really lucky to have them."

"We are very lucky," he agreed.

I started thinking about seeing my dad and how different from the Cullens I expected his reaction would be to our news. Plus, he was already mad at me about delaying starting college. I hadn't seen Charlie in over a month and I was looking forward to it, yet I also dreaded seeing him. This was just another example of my crazy mood swings.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Edward asked, worried.

I sighed heavily and blew out a long breath. "I'm really nervous about seeing my dad. I hate that he's upset with me."

Edward squeezed me tighter, but he didn't say anything.

"And I feel like he's going to take one look at me and know I'm pregnant. Then he'll have even more reasons to be mad at me," I said as the tears began to fall.

"Oh, love, that's not going to happen," he said. "You're not showing yet, and you won't for a while. He's not going to know until you're ready to tell him."

"Maybe we should just tell him today," I whispered. I realized there was no way I could see Charlie and not tell him. While I didn't look any different yet, I knew the fact that I had a secret would be written all over my face. "I think I want to get it over with."

"Whatever you want," Edward said. "And it'll be fine. We're hopelessly in love, we're married, we're financially stable, so what can he say? I really think he's going to happy for us."

I hoped he was right, but I doubted it. There was no way my dad would be happy about my pregnancy. At least not right away. I didn't want to stress myself out anymore than I already was so I stepped away from Edward and looked in the mirror again.

"These stones are really pretty," I said, reaching down to touch my new necklace. "What made you choose emeralds?"

"Emerald is May's birthstone," Edward stated, smiling crookedly at me.

"Okay…" I replied, confused.

"Our little one…" he paused to lovingly rub my belly, "…is due in May; May 6th, if I've counted correctly. The doctor will probably give you a different date though. Most people don't know exactly when they conceived so they calculate it a bit differently."

I giggled. "We don't exactly know when either. It could have been the first night, or the next morning or…" I trailed off.

A glorious smile lit up Edward's gorgeous face. "Ah yes, you're quite right, my love. We were very, um, _active_…every day, several times a day," he said, grinning smugly as he sat at the edge of our lovely new bed.

"Proud of yourself?" I asked, turning around and smirking at my unbelievably sexy husband. It was easy to forget that only a month ago, he'd still been scared that he'd hurt me.

"Immensely," he answered with a wink. "So, how would you feel about christening our new bedroom?"

I squealed happily and jumped on him.

.

.

Charlie had suggested that we meet at the Lodge for dinner since it was the nicest place in Forks. Edward thought that we should go to a fancy restaurant in Port Angeles since we were supposed to be celebrating. I disagreed with the two most important men in my life and insisted that we have a casual meal at the diner. I had no desire to make a big deal of my birthday. Plus, I wanted to meet Charlie on his turf. He was already upset with me so I was more than willing to go out of my way to make him feel comfortable. Plus, I selfishly wanted to break the news to him in public in hopes that he wouldn't freak out as much.

Edward held my hand as we drove to the diner. To say that I was nervous would be a vast understatement. Telling my dad that I was getting married at the tender age of eighteen had been nerve-wracking. Telling him that he was going to be a grandfather only one month into my marriage was absolutely terrifying.

Before I'd moved to Forks, I'd never been very close with Charlie. For most of my life, I only saw him two weeks a year, either when I'd visit him or when we'd meet up for a vacation. We'd also speak on the phone regularly, but neither of us ever had much to say.

Our relationship was so different now. Second only to Edward, my father was the most important person in my life. When I made the decision to move in with my dad, I did so reluctantly. At the time, I never imagined he'd become so very special to me.

Charlie probably didn't realize that I was aware, because I had been so out of it, but I knew each time he comforted me when I cried and screamed in my sleep after Edward had left me. The first three months were a blur to me even now, yet I had always been cognizant of my father's presence. He'd come into my room and soothe me back to sleep when I'd wake up screaming.

After I came out of the trance that I'd essentially been in, things were different. Of course we never talked about it, but Charlie and I had seemed to come to an understanding after that. I always knew he loved me and I hope he knew that I loved him. Still, until then, I don't think we ever felt all that connected. But after what we'd gone through together, we finally were truly a family.

I always knew he cared about me, but living with him, seeing every day how much he loved and worried about me, changed everything. He became not only my father, but also my friend. I wanted him to accept my choices. More than that, I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted him to be there to see me start my family, especially since I wasn't sure how long it would be before it was unsafe for me to stay in his life.

Regardless, I knew that getting married and starting a family at such a young age wasn't what he had in mind for me. Hell, not so long ago, marriage and motherhood were the last things I thought I'd be happy to experience at the age of nineteen. Of course, Charlie had no idea of the true reality of what my future held — and he couldn't know. It was a long shot, but I hoped that I could make my dad see that I was doing what was right for me without giving too much away.

I knew it wouldn't be an easy task, but I still held out hope. He had become such a good dad and I had no doubt that he'd be a fantastic grandfather. I could close my eyes and picture my child sitting in Charlie's lap in his favorite chair, watching baseball. I didn't know if that would ever be possible, but I couldn't help but want it.

"You okay, baby?" Edward asked warily, breaking me from my thoughts. I should have known that he'd hear my heart rate accelerate the closer we got to the diner.

I nodded and squeezed his hand.

We pulled into the parking lot and I was relieved to see that we'd arrived before my dad. It wasn't very crowded, and I was glad for that. I didn't want too big an audience. We settled in to a booth and waited.

A few minutes later, Edward whispered to me that my dad was about to arrive. My heart began to race. Edward put his arm around me and whispered reassurances into my ear.

It helped. A little.

Charlie approached our booth and I stood up to hug him. He seemed taken aback, but he hugged me nonetheless. I held onto him longer and tighter than necessary and I could tell that it made him feel uneasy.

"Sorry, Dad," I said, embarrassed. "I guess I just missed you."

Charlie blushed, patted me on the back and said, "I missed you, too, kid."

I sat next to Edward as Charlie slid into the booth across from us.

"Hello, Chief Swan," Edward greeted him in a welcoming manner.

"Edward," Charlie nodded at him, his tone not nearly as friendly.

We sat there quietly, none of us saying anything. The silence was extremely awkward.

Finally, Charlie reached into his jacket pocket and slid an envelope across the table to me. "Happy Birthday, Bells." He blushed and looked down.

I peeked in the envelope and found a birthday card containing three crisp one hundred dollar bills.

"That was supposed to help you pay for your first semester books," he explained, sounding slightly perturbed. "I guess maybe it can pay for a fancy meal in Paris or wherever instead." He cleared his throat awkwardly.

Edward took a deep breath, but thankfully didn't say anything. He was still miffed about how Charlie had spoken to me on the phone that day.

"Dad…" I began.

"It's okay," he interrupted. "Bella, I'm not mad anymore. I admit though, I was upset at first."

I nodded at him to go on.

"But I realized, you're young and since you now have the resources to do this," he paused and glanced at Edward, "I'm glad you have the opportunity to travel and see places I never even dreamed of seeing."

"You talked to Renee," I said matter of factly, no trace of a question in my voice.

He flushed and nodded sheepishly. "I hope you meant what you said and you'll still go to college though."

"I will. I swear," I promised.

"Good," my dad stated in a way that I knew the subject was now closed.

We ordered our drinks — my dad looked at me funny when I ordered milk instead of Coke — and dinners and then settled into small talk, interlaced with long periods of awkward silence.

We ate quietly and I noticed how skilled Edward was at hiding his food to make it look like he was eating. Someday, I'd have to ask him how he did it.

"So, where is the first destination on your travel schedule?" Charlie asked as he clumsily ripped his napkin into little pieces.

"Um, well, you see, we haven't really made any solid plans yet," I stammered. My hands were shaking as I picked up my glass of milk and took a sip.

Charlie raised his eyebrows at me looking perplexed.

"Um, we'll, err, have to talk about that soon," I mumbled stupidly and looked at Edward for reassurance. We hadn't discussed it since it was really just a cover story.

"We will," Edward said, squeezing my shoulder.

I was acting like a nervous, stuttering fool and my dad definitely noticed. He kept looking at me like he was about to ask me why I was acting so strange, but he stopped himself each time. And every time I was about to break the news, I chickened out.

"So, um, you look real good, Bells," he said. "There's something different about you… Did you get some sun on the island?"

_No, but I created my son on the island. _Just the idea of saying that out loud made me inhale sharply. And of course I started coughing and spluttering like an idiot.

Edward rubbed my back and frantically asked if I was okay.

"I'm fine," I said when I was finally able to speak.

"Okay, Bella, what the hell is wrong with you?" my dad asked brusquely. "Why are you acting so nuts?"

Edward glared at my father. I put my hand on his knee and hoped he realized that gesture meant, "Keep your mouth shut."

Edward nodded at me, covered my hand with his and squeezed it gently.

I took a deep breath.

Then I took another deep breath.

Then another.

My hands were shaking and I was tapping my foot anxiously. I didn't even realize I was doing it until Edward wrapped his ankle around mine to stop me.

"Jesus, Bella, what the hell is going on?" Charlie asked worriedly. "You're starting to scare me here."

"There's nothing to be sc-sc-scared about," I stuttered. "Ev-ev-everything is okay. Better than okay, actually." I tried to smile to reassure him, but I probably just looked like I was in pain.

"Doesn't seem like it," my dad snickered. "Just tell me."

_Here goes nothing…_

"We're having a baby," I whispered very softly, looking down at my lap. Despite my extreme nerves, I knew that this time I was definitely smiling. Since I'd found out that I was pregnant, every time I even thought about our baby, I couldn't help but smile.

"What was that?" Charlie asked. I looked up at him and his face was blank. I wasn't sure if he didn't hear me or if he was going into shock.

"I'm pregnant," I said, only slightly louder than my original confession. This time, I knew he heard me.

Charlie's face quickly went from pink to red; then from red to a very unhealthy looking purple. I realized that he was holding his breath.

"Dad!" I exclaimed, jumping up and sliding into the booth next to him. "Breathe!" I knew that the three other patrons in the diner were looking at us, but I couldn't find it within me to care.

Finally, I heard him suck in a deep breath. He took a few moments to calm himself before he said anything. "I cannot believe you lied to me, Isabella."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"When you told me you were getting _married,_" he said the word "married" with disgust and paused to glower at Edward. "I asked you point blank and you told me that you were not…_pregnant_. You lied right to my damn face."

My eyes welled up with tears and I started to shake. Edward extended his hand and pulled me back to his side of the booth. He put his arm around me and whispered in my ear that everything would be okay and reminded me that my being stressed out wasn't good for the baby.

"We most certainly did not lie to you, sir," Edward said to Charlie through clenched teeth. I knew that he was using all of his restraint not to lose his temper.

"I wasn't talking to you," Charlie hissed angrily. "This is between _me_ and _my_ daughter."

"I realize that, but your daughter is _my_ wife," Edward replied tersely. "And _I_ would appreciate it if you treated her with respect."

Charlie's face returned to that unhealthy purple color.

"Stop," I pleaded. "Edward, it's okay. I can handle this."

He nodded reluctantly, but I could tell he was having a hard time staying calm.

"Dad," I looked pointedly at Charlie. "I didn't lie to you. I promise."

He scoffed.

"We just found out last week," I said softly. "It's very early still and the baby isn't due until May. Do the math, if you must. Until my wedding night, I was a vir-"

"I don't want to hear about it!" Charlie shouted in a panic as he childishly covered his ears.

If things between us weren't so tense, I would have laughed. He looked completely ridiculous.

We were quiet; just sitting there staring at each other. It was beyond awkward.

"I thought your mother explained to you about…_birth control,_"my father finally said. "And I _thought_ you two were responsible adults. How could you let this happen?" My father glared at my husband again.

"Does this mean I'm allowed to speak now, Chief?" Edward sneered. I knew that it was killing him to be scolded like a child, when in reality he was much, much older than my father could even imagine.

"You better watch your tone with me, boy," Charlie snapped.

"Stop it!" I cried out in frustration. "Please, don't fight." I knew that Edward wouldn't really do anything, but my arm automatically reached across his chest to hold him back.

I heard him take a few calming breaths. "Upsetting Bella isn't good for the baby," Edward said evenly. "If we can't talk about this rationally and calmly, then I'm afraid Bella and I are going to have to leave."

Charlie cleared his throat and looked down guiltily.

"Sir, I know you want what's best for your child…" Edward began, sounding much more relaxed than he had just moments before. Charlie looked up at him and when it appeared that he was going to cut him off, Edward said, "…but I also want what's best for mine." He leaned over, pressed his forehead to mine and rubbed my stomach lovingly.

Without thinking about it, I angled my face up and kissed him chastely on his perfect lips. His defending me and our child was so sweet. His over-protectiveness, in this case, was incredibly endearing.

"Oh, God," Charlie gasped. I looked over at him and he was blinking back tears. "My baby is having a baby," he whispered softly.

I could tell in that moment, it finally became real to him. "Dad," I said apprehensively as I reached across the table to try to take his hand.

"I can't do this right now," he said abruptly. He jumped up out of the booth, threw some money down on the table and walked briskly out the door.

I burst into tears. "He hates me!" I cried. I knew everyone was looking at us, but I was too upset to care.

"Shhhh, love," Edward soothed. "He doesn't hate you. He just needs a minute to compose himself. He's waiting outside."

I shook my head. "He's disappointed in me. He thinks we were irresponsible," I sobbed. "He'll probably be even more upset if he finds out it was planned."

"Sweetheart, please calm down," Edward begged as he patted my stomach, gently reminding me of the precious cargo I was carrying.

I took a few steadying breaths and it helped to get my emotions under control. "I'm okay. I'm okay," I said, trying to convince myself as well as Edward.

"Is he still out there?" I asked.

Edward nodded. "His breathing has evened out so I think he's calmed down."

"What is he thinking?" I whispered. I knew that Edward couldn't really _hear_ my dad's thoughts, but he'd once said that he could usually get a feel for what he was thinking.

"Honestly, I think he's really overwhelmed, but I can't get a good read on him at all," Edward confessed wistfully. "As usual, the Swan's minds confound me." He winked charmingly and I knew that he was trying to make me smile, but I was just too overwhelmed myself.

"Do you think he wants to talk to me?" I asked, wiping the tears from my eyes. "Or does he want me to leave him alone?"

"Why don't you go out there and talk with him," he suggested. "I think you two need some time alone."

I nodded. "I need a few minutes," I confessed. Edward put his arms around me and tucked my head under his chin as he gently stroked my hair. Instantly, I felt more relaxed.

"Okay, I think I'm ready," I finally said hesitantly after about five minutes of stalling.

Edward kissed my cheek and nodded toward the door, encouraging me. "I'll be listening and I'll know if you need me."

I kissed him quickly, stood up carefully and walked out, ignoring the gaping-mouthed stares of the nosy residents of this little town that had become my home.

Charlie was sitting, with his head in his hands, on the picnic table just at the edge of the parking lot. When he heard my approach, he looked up at me. He still had tears in his eyes and it just about broke my heart.

I stood a few feet away from him, nervously kicking at the rocks on the ground.

"Knock that off, Bells," he said quietly, not meeting my eyes. "You're liable to trip and break your ankle. Can't have you getting hurt right now…" He scrubbed his hands roughly over his eyes and harshly blew out a long breath.

I froze in my place, not knowing what to do or say.

"Come here," he finally said and reached out his hand. I sat next to him on the bench and he put his arm around me, gently pulling me to his side.

"You're happy about…this…" my dad said shakily.

"Yes, I really am," I reluctantly admitted, speaking very softly.

"And Edward is happy…" he said grudgingly, though I could tell by his inflection that he was stating, not asking.

"Very," I said more resolutely. Happy was a gigantic understatement.

He took a few deep breaths and then squeezed my shoulder. "I don't know what to say, Bella."

"I don't either," I said sadly. "But I hate that you're mad at me." I started crying again.

"Aw, Bells, please don't cry," Charlie begged as he pulled me in for a hug. "Seriously, no more tears, I can't handle it."

I choked back the sob that was threatening to erupt from my throat and nodded furiously against his chest. "I've been crying a lot lately," I finally said as I pulled back to wipe the tears away. "Happy tears though…until now." I hadn't meant for it to sound like a guilt trip, but somehow that is exactly what it sounded like.

Charlie chuckled humorlessly. "Way to make your old man feel like a jerk." He ran his hands through his hair nervously. "I'm sorry for how I reacted."

"I knew you weren't going to be thrilled, Dad," I stated. "Why do you think I've been so tense and jumpy? I actually expected you to pull your gun on Edward, if you want to know the truth."

"Night's not over yet," he muttered.

"Dad," I chastised as I bumped him with my shoulder. "Be nice."

He grinned sheepishly at me. "So, you lure me to a public place, on my night off, knowing my gun is in the car… pretty smart, kid."

I smiled warmly at him. "I take after my dad."

He blew out another deep breath. "You're nineteen…"

"Yep," I said glumly. "Happy Birthday to me."

Charlie sighed and palmed his face. "I was nineteen when you were born," he began, starting to get choked up again. He stood up and began pacing in front of the picnic table. He cleared his throat several times.

I felt myself on the verge of another crying jag. _He's worried that Edward and I are going to end up like he and Renee. _I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to keep the tears at bay. I didn't open my eyes again until I could no longer hear the scuffling of his feet against the gravel.

"And you were the best thing that ever happened to me," he finally continued, reaching out to take both of my hands in his. "It wasn't easy… Lord knows it wasn't easy, but I wouldn't change a thing because I have the most amazing daughter."

He cleared his throat again. "So, what's done is done," he said with a hesitant smile on his face. "Guess I'm gonna be a Grampa."

This time, there was no holding back the tears. "I love you, Daddy," I cried.

"I love you, too, Bella. More than you can even begin to understand," he replied pensively. He looked down toward my stomach and nodded at me. "Soon, though…soon, you'll get it. You'll _never _love anyone more than you love your child."

"I already do," I said timidly. "Since the moment I found out…when it became real to me, I knew I'd do anything for my little one." I rubbed my stomach and smiled shyly at my dad.

Charlie sighed. "You already sound like a mom. Can't believe my little Bells is going to be a mother…"

I nodded bashfully, unsure of what to say.

"Are you feeling okay? Have you been to the doctor yet?" he asked, concerned.

"I feel okay. Tired, a little sick in the mornings, but otherwise, I feel good," I responded. "I called Dr. Snow and he said I didn't need to come in for an appointment until I was about eight weeks and I'm only four at the most…"

Charlie looked at me skeptically.

"I really wish you'd believe me," I mumbled, looking down at the ground.

"I do," he said quickly. "But, please, let's never speak of this again." I looked up and his eyes were pleading.

"No problem," I replied, relieved. Talking with Charlie about my sex life was something I'd never intended to do and I still couldn't believe I blurted out about losing my virginity on my wedding night in the middle of the diner.

We sat there quietly for a few moments.

"Um, Sue made you a birthday cake," Charlie said softly. "Want to go back to the house and have a piece? It's chocolate."

Chocolate cake suddenly sounded like the best thing in the entire world.

I nodded happily and hugged my dad again. "I'll go get Edward and we'll meet you there."

"All right," Charlie agreed. "See you in a few."

I headed back toward the diner and Edward was waiting at the door for me. He smiled and pulled me into his arms. I melted into him, the weight of the evening finally hitting me with full force.

"That went much better than I thought it would, considering how he reacted at first," Edward said carefully. "Are you okay?"

I thought about how lucky I was to have a wonderful family in the Cullens, the love and support of my father and the most amazing husband I couldn't have even dreamed big enough to know to ask for.

I sighed contentedly, safe and happy in the arms of my only love. "I am now."

"I'm glad," Edward said sweetly, kissing the top of my head.

"There's just one thing missing, one thing I absolutely _must_ have," I said, grinning.

"Oh, what's that?" he asked, gently unwrapping himself from me and taking my hand.

I looked up at him, knowing he probably had something else in mind based on that hungry look in his eyes. I smiled smugly and said, "Chocolate cake, of course."

Edward laughed heartily and led me toward the car. "Your wish, my command."

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

May 16, 2011


	15. Chapter 12 outtake

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-reader:**ttharman**

**Chapter Twelve Outtake **

Charlie

"Okay, Bella, what the hell is wrong with you?" I finally asked. My daughter was tripping over her words and shaking like a leaf. Something was definitely up. "Why are you acting so nuts?"

Edward glared at me and it took all of my strength not to reach across the table and slap that dirty look right off his face. I'd accepted —sort of— that Bella had married him, but I didn't have to like it. Truthfully, Edward had grown on me in the last few months. He loved Bella and would do anything for her and that was exactly the type of man I wanted for her. Regardless, he was still the guy that married my baby and took her away from me so soon after I'd gotten her back, so that automatically made him not my favorite person.

Bella began taking long, deep breaths and she looked like she'd seen a ghost or something. She looked absolutely terrified. Her hands were shaking and I heard a sound that I assume was her foot tapping against the floor.

"Jesus, Bella, what the hell is going on?" I asked, concerned. My Bells was normally a pretty cool customer and seeing her so unglued had me worried. "You're starting to scare me here."

"There's nothing to be sc-sc-scared about," she stuttered. "Ev-ev-everything is okay. Better than okay, actually." She tried to smile but I could tell that it was forced. _Something is definitely not right._

"Doesn't seem like it," I said, completely unconvinced. "Just tell me."

She whispered something too quietly for me to hear and she hung her head so I couldn't even read her lips.

"What was that?" I asked.

She looked up at me, seeming confused that I hadn't heard her. "I'm pregnant," she said very softly.

_No! _

_This has to be some sort of practical joke or something. _

_She can't be having a baby. She _is_ a baby! My baby!_

_I knew that boy wasn't right for her. I'm going to make him pay for this._

"Dad!" I heard Bella's distressed sounding yell before I felt her bump into me as she slid into the booth. "Breathe!"

I hadn't even realized I was holding my breath. Finally, I sucked in a deep breath, and the first words I thought of tumbled out of my mouth. "I cannot believe you lied to me, Isabella."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, truly sounding like she didn't know what I meant.

"When you told me you were getting _married,_" I said with disgust as I glared at my teenaged daughter's husband. "I asked you point blank and you told me that you were not…_pregnant_. You lied right to my damn face."

I looked over at Bella and she was tearing up and starting to shake. Edward held out his hand to her across the booth then put his arm around her when she sat down next to him. He was whispering in her ear and I could see how she instantly relaxed when he comforted her.

"We most certainly did not lie to you, sir," Edward said to me through clenched teeth. He looked like _he_ was mad at _me_.

_Oh, I don't think so._

"I wasn't talking to you," I shot back at him. "This is between _me_ and _my_ daughter."

"I realize that, but your daughter is _my_ wife," Edward replied curtly. "And _I_ would appreciate it if you treated her with respect."

I held my breath again and balled up my fists. I wanted to knock him on his arrogant ass in the worst way.

"Stop," Bella begged. "Edward, it's okay. I can handle this."

He nodded reluctantly at her, but he still looked like he wanted deck me.

_Try it, kid. Please, just give me a reason to arrest you. Do it._

"Dad," Bella began, locking eyes with me. "I didn't lie to you. I promise."

I scoffed, but I now knew she was telling the truth. There was no way she'd be able to look me in the eye and lie to me.

"We just found out last week," she said softly. "It's very early still and the baby isn't due until May. Do the math, if you must. Until my wedding night, I was a vir-"

"I don't want to hear about it!" I shouted and covered my ears like a little kid. The last thing in the entire world I wanted to hear about was my daughter's sex life. Even though she was now a married woman, I was quite content to pretend like she didn't have one.

It got quiet as I tried to make sense of my thoughts. I couldn't though. There was nothing about this situation that made any sense to me whatsoever.

"I thought your mother explained to you about…_birth control,_"I finally said. Renee was an airhead, but I knew she'd had "the talk" with Bella. And in so many ways, Bella was more responsible than her mother. This just didn't add up.

"And I _thought_ you two were responsible adults. How could you let this happen?" I shot daggers at Edward. This was all his fault.

"Does this mean I'm allowed to speak now, Chief?" Edward sneered.

_How dare this little shit talk to me like that?_

"You better watch your tone with me, boy," I snapped.

"Stop it!" Bella pleaded, sounding aggravated with the both of us. "Please, don't fight." She put her arm in front of Edward to hold him back.

"Upsetting Bella isn't good for the baby," he said evenly. "If we can't talk about this rationally and calmly, then I'm afraid Bella and I are going to have to leave."

I knew I wasn't thinking clearly and I was acting like a complete jerk, but I just couldn't help it. I cleared my throat and looked down, feeling a bit guilty for upsetting Bella. I hated to see her upset.

"Sir, I know you want what's best for your child…" Edward began, sounding much more polite and composed than he had just moments before.

I looked up at him and I was about to say, "You're God-damned right I want what's best for my child and that doesn't include you knocking her up, you irresponsible little asshole." But before I could say any of that, he continued.

"…but I also want what's best for mine." Edward leaned over, pressed his forehead to Bella's and rubbed her stomach lovingly with a doting smile on his face.

Bella lifted her face, kissed him quickly on the lips and smiled dreamily, looking so joyful.

That's when it hit me.

I wasn't looking at a pair of scared shitless teenagers who were confessing that they'd fucked up royally and were now stuck with a kid.

I was looking at a happy couple who was desperately in love and thrilled to be adding a new member to their little family.

_But half of said happy couple is my little girl…_

"Oh, God," I gasped, blinking back the tears that I didn't realize were in my eyes. "My baby is having a baby," I whispered.

"Dad," Bella said apprehensively as she reached across the table and tried to take my hand. She wanted to comfort me and I was just not ready for that. Plus, I knew the busy-bodies in the diner were looking at us and I didn't want them to see me like this.

"I can't do this right now," I said abruptly. I stood up, threw some money down on the table and walked out the door.

I was almost to my car when I realized what a jerk move it would be if I left. Bella didn't deserve that. Hell, Edward didn't either. He pissed me off with the way he acted toward me, but he was just defending his girlfri- wife. Shit, my baby was his wife. If anyone had acted toward Renee the way I had acted toward Bella, I would have done the same thing. I was glad that Bella had such a fierce protector.

I sat down on the picnic table at the edge of the parking lot, so grateful that no one was there. I needed to get my shit together before I made things worse.

No matter how much I tried to rationalize it, I just couldn't. Bella and Edward were responsible kids and I knew full well they knew about birth control. So how could they let this happen? They have been married four God-damned weeks. And they'd really only been back together less than six months.

I went round and round in my head, but I couldn't come up with an answer. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized it didn't matter if I came up with an answer or not. It was their life and this was obviously what they wanted.

I hung my head and closed my eyes while my mind flooded with pictures of Bella as a baby. She was such a beautiful child. I remembered her first smile so vividly. Tears sprang to my eyes just thinking about how happy a day that had been.

I missed so much of her life, but I was there for the most important moments; when she was born, when she got married and now I get to be there for her as she starts her family. It was all happening way sooner than I'd ever dreamed, but I was damn lucky to be a part of it.

I was about to go back in there and apologize for my reaction when I heard slow, shuffling footsteps coming my way. I looked up to see Bella nervously kicking at the rocks on the ground. It made me nervous because it would be just like her to lose her balance and fall down.

"Knock that off, Bells," I said quietly, looking at her, but not making eye contact. "You're liable to trip and break your ankle. Can't have you getting hurt right now…" I scrubbed my hands roughly over my eyes and harshly blew out a long breath.

Bella froze in her place and didn't say a word.

"Come here," I finally said and reached out my hand. I put my arm around her and pulled her against me when she sat down.

"You're happy about…this…" I said shakily. I don't even know why I asked. I already knew she was.

"Yes, I really am," she reluctantly admitted, speaking very softly.

"And Edward is happy…" I said grudgingly. It wasn't a question. I could tell by the look on his face when he rubbed Bella's stomach how thrilled he was.

"Very," she said more resolutely.

I took a few deep breaths and then squeezed her shoulder. "I don't know what to say, Bella."

"I don't either," she said, sounding so sad and meek. "But I hate that you're mad at me." She started crying again.

"Aw, Bells, please don't cry," I begged as I hugged her. I could never stand to see Bella upset and it especially killed me to see her cry. Whether she cried over a skinned knee as a little girl, a broken heart as a love-struck teenager, or as an adult because her jerk of a father was being an asshole to her, I couldn't take it anymore. "Seriously, no more tears, I can't handle it."

She took a deep, shuddering breath and nodded against my chest.

"I've been crying a lot lately," Bella finally said as she leaned away from me and wiped her eyes. "Happy tears though…until now."

_Wow, kid, way to lay on the guilt trip nice and thick._

I chuckled humorlessly. "Way to make your old man feel like a jerk." I ran my hands through my hair nervously. "I'm sorry for how I reacted."

"I knew you weren't going to be thrilled, Dad," she stated. "Why do you think I've been so tense and jumpy? I actually expected you to pull your gun on Edward, if you want to know the truth."

"Night's not over yet," I muttered.

"Dad," she said in a reprimanding tone as she bumped me with her shoulder. "Be nice."

I grinned at her. "So, you lure me to a public place, on my night off, knowing my gun is in the car… pretty smart, kid."

She smiled tenderly at me, looking so much like the sweet little girl she used to be that I almost started crying again. "I take after my dad."

I blew out another deep breath. She certainly did take after me. "You're nineteen…"

"Yep. Happy Birthday to me," she said sarcastically.

I sighed and put my hands over my face, knowing I most likely _was _going to cry this time. "I was nineteen when you were born," I began, starting to get choked up again. I stood up and began pacing in front of the picnic table. I cleared my throat several times, trying to fight back those damned tears.

"And you were the best thing that ever happened to me," I finally continued, reaching out to take both of her hands in mine, just like I did when she was a little girl and was learning to walk. Soon, Bella would be doing the same with her child.

I thought back on how hard it had been to be a young parent and how it nearly killed me to spend so much time away from Bella after Renee left me.

But would I go back and change it if I could? No way.

"It wasn't easy… Lord knows it wasn't easy, but I wouldn't change a thing because I have the most amazing daughter."

I cleared my throat again. I knew there was no way to change things now, so what was the point in staying pissed off about it? Renee's father had been so mad at us for running off and eloping then getting pregnant so quick that he didn't even see Bella until she was over three months old. I'd be damned if I did anything to cause such a rift that I wouldn't get to see my grandbaby.

"So, what's done is done," I said with a hesitant smile on my face. "Guess I'm gonna be a Grampa."

Bella burst into tears again. "I love you, Daddy," she cried. I could tell how much my acceptance meant to her, not to mention she called me "Daddy." Dammit all to hell if I wasn't on the verge of tears again.

"I love you, too, Bella. More than you can even begin to understand," I responded. I looked down at her still flat stomach and nodded. "Soon, though…soon, you'll get it. You'll _never _love anyone more than you love your child."

"I already do," she said timidly. "Since the moment I found out…when it became real to me, I knew I'd do anything for my little one." She patted her stomach and smiled shyly.

I sighed. "You already sound like a mom. Can't believe my little Bells is going to be a mother…"

She nodded nervously, but didn't say anything. I looked at her again and realized she really did look different. It occurred to me now the suntan I thought she'd gotten was really that pregnancy glow women get.

My daughter was pregnant and I'd been too shocked and upset to even ask how she was feeling. I was such a shit.

"Are you feeling okay? Have you been to the doctor yet?" I asked, concerned.

"I feel okay. Tired, a little sick in the mornings, but otherwise, I feel good," she responded cheerfully. "I called Dr. Snow and he said I didn't need to come in for an appointment until I was about eight weeks and I'm only four at the most…"

I looked at her skeptically. I believed that she wasn't very far along, but I still couldn't help but doubt that before she'd gotten married she was a vir-

_Nope, not gonna go there._

"I really wish you'd believe me," she mumbled, looking down at the ground.

"I do," I said quickly. "But, please, let's never speak of this again." In my mind, they'd done it once, created my grandchild and then never touched each other again. _Fantasy land sure is a great place for the father of a grown daughter to live._

"No problem," she replied, sounding as relieved as I felt.

We sat there quietly for a few moments. I'd almost forgotten that Sue had insisted on making a cake for Bella. I was going to bring it with me, but I wanted Bella to come back to the house. I should have been used to living alone, since before Bella came to live with me, I had been alone for so long. But I really missed her. A lot.

"Um, Sue made you a birthday cake," I said softly. "Want to go back to the house and have a piece? It's chocolate."

Bella's face lit up and she nodded happily before she threw her arms around me again. "I'll go get Edward and we'll meet you there."

"All right," I agreed. "See you in a few."

.

.

I arrived back at the house and dug through the junk drawer to see if there were any birthday candles in there. There weren't of course. I thought about going over to the neighbors to see if I could borrow one as I opened the fridge to grab a beer. I noticed Sue had left a package of birthday candles next to the cake.

I sighed happily. She always seemed to know what I needed. Sue was such a great woman and the more time I spent with her, the more I realized I was falling head-over-heels.

I cracked open the beer, took the cake out of the fridge and placed four candles on top. It was kind of goofy, but that number was for my family: me, Bella, Edward and my grandchild.

Yes, Edward was family. He was not only my son-in-law, but my grandchild's father. I knew I'd have to swallow my pride and apologize for the way I acted at the diner.

I heard the door open and Bella called to me, "Hi, Dad. Just give me a sec, I really have to pee," as she bolted up the stairs. I chuckled. It had been nearly been twenty years but I remembered clearly all the things Renee had dealt with while she was pregnant.

Edward stood between the living room and kitchen, looking more awkward than I'd ever seen him. For such a young kid, he usually carried himself like a confident man.

"Hey, Edward, have a seat," I said, gesturing to the chair across from me.

He nodded and wordlessly sat down.

"Sir, I want to apologize-" he began.

"No," I cut him off. "Me first."

Again, he nodded.

"I owe _you _an apology," I said sincerely. He looked surprised, but didn't say anything. "You were just looking out for your wife and child. And I…well, I really respect you for that."

"Thank you," Edward said kindly. "I appreciate that. But I am sorry for speaking harshly to you. Please accept my apology, sir."

I stood up and reached out my hand to him. He stood too as he shook my hand. His hand was cold but mine was hot and sweaty from nerves so I figured it was probably just me. "Edward, you're my grandkid's father. I'm pretty sure it's about time you called me Charlie."

He smiled and nodded. "Charlie."

"Can he call you 'Dad'?" Bella asked with a giggle as she joined us in the kitchen.

"Don't push it," I grumbled half-heartedly. I smiled at her as she stood between Edward and me and put her arms around both of our waists. "Ready for some cake?"

Her eyes lit up again and she nodded eagerly. I hadn't seen her this excited for cake since she was five years old. I turned and lit the candles to hide the emotion in my eyes. When I finally composed myself, I turned back to Bella and said, "Make a wish."

Bella smiled and shook her head. She looked to me, then to Edward and sighed happily as she rubbed her belly again. "I already got my wish."

.

.

I let myself into Billy's house Sunday morning, bright and early like always. It was the best time of day and I knew the fish would be biting.

Jacob came out of his room and I noticed he looked even taller than the last time I'd seen him. He'd be eight feet tall before he turns eighteen if he keeps it up. All of his friends were giants, too. They sure did grow them big on the reservation.

"Morning, Charlie," Jake greeted me. "Dad's still getting ready; he'll be out in a minute."

I nodded at him and plopped down on the couch.

"So," Jake began awkwardly. "Um, how's Bella doing?"

I knew that Jake was happy with Leah now, but I also knew that Bella was his first love. That's the kind of thing that's not so easy to get over. He and Bella didn't talk much anymore, and I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it from Sue and Billy, so I decided to just tell him.

"Have a seat, Jake," I suggested.

"Already?" he whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear him. He looked upset, and I wondered if somehow he already knew. "Damn, I didn't think it would be so soon…"

"What are you babbling out?" I asked.

He shook his head and said, "Nothing, nothing. So, what's up?"

"I'm gonna be a Grampa," I said proudly. The idea of it had really grown on me and while I was a little sad Bella had grown up so fast, I was also more than a little excited.

Jake looked at me like I was crazy, then he finally burst out laughing. "Good one, Charlie."

"You think I'd joke about something like this?" I asked skeptically.

He jumped up and started pacing and tugging at his hair. He was mumbling something over and over but I couldn't make out what he was saying.

"That is impossible!" he finally yelled at me. "Bella can't be pregnant. How did this happen?"

I chuckled. "Well, son, when a man and a woman love each other… ugh, Jake, we're talking about my daughter here. Do you really need me to spell it out for you? I'm pretty sure your dad has already had the talk with you."

He looked like he was going to puke. "I'm serious! It is not possible!"

I rolled my eyes at him, confused about his extreme reaction to the news.

"And Edward is the father?" he asked.

"Of course, he is," I responded. "Why in the hell are you asking such a ridiculous question?"

"I gotta go," he said and ran out of the house like his ass was on fire.

.

.

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

June 10, 2011


	16. Chapter 13

Beta: **HollettLA** (the best beta in the fandom)

Pre-readers: **ttharman, meg23287, barburella and NoWayWithWords**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Edward

"I told you," Lauren Mallory hissed, too quietly for Bella's human ears to hear, leaning over to Tyler Crowley. "Why else would he have married her?"

Bella was now eight weeks along, and we'd just arrived for our first doctor's appointment. Unfortunately, Lauren and Tyler were the only other people we saw in the waiting room.

Tyler rolled his eyes at Lauren then glanced over at us. _Makes sense. Only an idiot would get married for any other reason. _He twisted the ring on his left hand and shook his head sadly.

I squeezed Bella's hand as we walked up to the receptionist. Bella smiled politely at Lauren and Tyler as we passed them. Tyler winked at her and, a little too cheerfully for both my and Lauren's liking, called, "Hey, Bella."

"Isabella Cullen," Bella told the receptionist. "I have my first prenatal appointment at 10:30."

"Of course, dear," she responded with a genuine smile. "Congratulations." She handed Bella a clipboard and instructed her to fill out the stack of forms.

We sat down as far from Lauren and Tyler as possible, but in the small waiting room, we were still too close for comfort.

"So," Lauren began with fake enthusiasm. "You're having a baby, too." She rubbed her stomach dramatically.

Bella nodded shyly and began filling out the forms.

"Congratulations, Edward," Lauren said flirtatiously. _How is he even better looking now than he was before? Bella is such a lucky bitch. _ "You'll make such a great dad."

Tyler rolled his eyes again and started playing around with his cell phone.

"Thanks," I murmured then began to pretend to read a magazine. I wanted to tell her watch her mouth when talking about my wife, and if she'd said it out loud, I would have.

I should have been used to half-assed, fake congratulations by now. Jacob Black, for example, gave us the most insincere congratulations imaginable when he showed up at my parents' house demanding to know how Bella could possibly be pregnant. After Jasper calmed him down, Bella convinced him to listen to Carlisle's explanation of how our little one was human. He finally stopped mentally plotting ways to murder me, told Bella how _happy_ he was for her before he ran away as fast as his two legs could carry him. Bella had her head buried in my chest, so she didn't see his clothes go flying as he phased at the edge of the forest.

Jessica Stanley was also less than thrilled about our good news. She cornered me in the grocery store late one evening while I was buying eggs, hot sauce, pickles and ranch dressing. Jessica took one look in my basket and her thoughts were so loud, I could have heard them in Alaska. She, like Lauren, truly believed I'd only married Bella because she was pregnant. While I didn't care what these vapid girls thought, I couldn't help but find it offensive on Bella's behalf. How could they not see that I was the lucky one who got to marry Bella, not the other way around?

"Lauren Crowley," the nurse called from the doorway. Lauren brushed her hair out of her face with her left hand, clearly wanting us to notice her wedding band. Again, Bella politely smiled and went back to filling out the forms. Lauren moaned and groaned as she pretended to have a hard time standing up.

"Tyler," she snapped. "A little help here."

Tyler reluctantly stood and helped her up. He slumped back in his seat as Lauren followed the nurse. She whipped her head around and glared at him.

"What?" he groused. "You really need me to come with you while you pee in a cup?"

Lauren shot him a hateful look, flipped her hair over her shoulder and walked away.

For the third time in five minutes, he rolled his eyes. I couldn't help but be completely disgusted with him. He was so immature, and I could only hope, for the baby's sake, that he'd grow up before Lauren gave birth. With Lauren as a mother, this kid needed all the help it could get.

Tyler looked at me and shrugged. "This isn't her first appointment," he explained. "They'll weigh her, make her pee in a cup and ask her how she's feeling. Why do I need to be in there for that?"

_I don't know, maybe the possibility of hearing your child's heartbeat?_ I ignored him as I continued to not read my magazine.

I'd never forget the first time I heard my baby's heartbeat. A few days after her birthday, Bella was lying on the couch in our cottage reading _Wuthering Heights_ yet again. I sat on the floor in front of her reading _What to Expect When You're Expecting_, enjoying the feeling of Bella running her fingers absentmindedly through my hair.

It was so peaceful and I was enjoying the quiet, since it's so rare for me. All I could hear was the gentle rain on the roof, the shuffle of paper as we turned the pages of our books and Bella's rhythmic heartbeat. Even in the noisiest crowd, I could always identify that sound.

Suddenly, I heard a faint heartbeat in addition to Bella's - but faster than hers. I was startled and began to worry that someone was close to our cottage. I couldn't hear anyone's thoughts though. It took me a moment, but I finally realized what it was.

I dropped my book and turned to Bella, and I clearly frightened her with the frantic look on my face.

"What is it? What's wrong?" she asked, worried.

"Shhhh," I begged as I rested my hand on her stomach. "Don't say anything, just for a moment, please." I lifted her shirt, pressed my ear to her stomach, and the second heartbeat in my ears got louder.

"Oh, baby," I whispered. "Hello, little one." I kissed Bella's stomach then kissed my gorgeous wife's lips.

"I hear him," I said in complete astonishment. "I hear his heart beating."

"Oh my god!" Bella exclaimed as she burst into tears. "Really? You hear him?"

I nodded and hugged her tightly.

She squeezed me back then pulled my head down to her belly again. "What does it sound like? Oh that's a dumb question. I know what a heartbeat sounds like. I mean, does it sound right?" She spoke quickly and nervously, and she looked so damn cute I couldn't help but chuckle.

"He sounds perfect," I assured her. I kissed her stomach again and sighed contentedly.

Hearing the heartbeats of the two most important people in my life was such a sweet moment. One that was about to interrupted my meddling sister.

Alice burst into the cottage, shoved me out of the way, and laid her head down on Bella's stomach. _That's my nephew in there. Good strong heartbeat, little guy. _She was quiet for a few moments then she sighed quietly.

"Sorry for interrupting, but I just couldn't wait any longer! I wanted to hear him, too," she said. I noticed that it was the first time Alice had ever referred to the baby as "him" or as her "nephew."

Bella gasped. "You said 'him'."

Alice flashed me a sheepish look. "Oh, hell. I was going to try to keep it a surprise for a little longer. I've been so careful with my thoughts. I had such great plans for how I was going to tell you."

She shrugged then finally exclaimed, "Congratulations! It's a boy!"

I playfully shoved Alice out of the way and scooped up Bella. I kissed her until she ran out of breath. "You were right, love." I set her down carefully and stood behind her with my arms wrapped protectively around her belly.

She smiled cheerfully and shrugged. "Eh, I had a 50-50 shot." She grinned at Alice and said, "I'm no fortune teller."

Alice laughed. "We need to go shopping! I can't wait to dress him! Edward, I can even buy you matching outfits. It'll be so precious!"

"Edward?" Bella whispered nervously, breaking me from my thoughts. "It's asking for your family's medical history. What should I put?"

I kissed her forehead and took the clipboard from her. I couldn't very well put that my parents had died from the Spanish Influenza, so I fabricated their medical history and handed it back to Bella. She checked off a few more boxes then signed her name. Seeing "Isabella Cullen" as opposed to "Isabella Swan" still made me smile.

"Don't worry, sweetheart," I assured her. "Any medical problems on my side of the family have long since been cured." Bella handed me the clipboard when she was finished, and I checked over the forms then got up to hand them to the receptionist.

The middle-aged receptionist, whose nametag read "Nancy Stevens," blushed as she took the clipboard from me. _So young, so handsome. What a beautiful child they'll have._

"Thank you, sweetie," Nancy giggled. "Congratulations again. Your girlfriend is absolutely glowing."

"She's my wife, but thank you," I responded coolly. Did anyone in this little town really not know that the chief's daughter and young doctor's son had gotten married?

"Oh, of course," she replied. "I think my son Lee mentioned that some classmates of his had gotten married. You make a beautiful couple." _But if Lee got married and had a kid right out of high school, I'd kill him._

She continued to smile at me, her thoughts not betraying her happy expression.

"Thanks," I mumbled again as I returned to Bella's side.

Bella looped her arm through mine and rested her head on my shoulder. "I don't know why, but I'm nervous. Do you think _I'll_ be able to hear the heartbeat today?" She was so jealous that she was the only one in our family, besides Charlie of course, who hadn't heard it yet.

I closed my eyes and tuned out all other sounds around me but my wife's and son's heartbeats. They were the best sounds in the world.

I grinned at her. "I'm sure you'll _finally _get to hear it."

She slapped my arm playfully. "I can't help it. I feel left out," she grumbled.

"Think of it this way," I began. "You'll get to feel him kick first. You'll have a bond with him no one else will ever have."

She nodded then hung her head. "And I get to push him out, too. Lucky me."

"I'd do it for you if I could," I offered.

"Of all the husbands that tell their wives that," Bella said as she leaned into me again, "I think you're probably the only one who really means it." She kissed me sweetly and brushed the hair off my forehead.

"Isabella Cullen," the nurse called. I jumped up and reached my hand out to Bella. I began following her when the nurse stopped me.

"Mr. Cullen, why don't you wait out here?" Nurse Ratchet suggested.

I blanched. I wanted to be there for every part of this.

"Mrs. Cullen is going to have to provide a urine sample first," she said softly. "I'll come get you in just a moment."

I nodded sadly and Bella smiled at me before following the nurse down the hall.

I returned to my seat and tried not to pout. _Esme is right, I _am_ a child sometimes._

Tyler plopped down in the seat next to me. "Sucks, doesn't it?" _I'm not ready to be a dad; I don't know what I was thinking. Trusting Lauren to take her pill every day. I'm such an idiot._

I looked at him incredulously. And even though I knew what he meant, I asked, "What do you mean?"

"Having a kid at our age," he explained. "I mean, I'm trying to make the best of it, but I'm really pissed about this whole thing. I was supposed to go to U-Dub and I'm stuck at Port Angeles Community College. I was supposed to be living in a dorm, going to frat parties, and now I'm living in Lauren's parents' basement. You know what I mean, right? We really fucked up, huh?"

Tyler was looking to me as someone he could commiserate with, but he was sorely mistaken. I couldn't identify with him at all.

I knew I shouldn't bother getting into this conversation with him, but I couldn't help myself. "Speak for yourself, Tyler. I'm thrilled to be having a baby."

He guffawed loudly and Nancy shot him a pointed look. "Sorry," he mouthed to her. He looked back at me and said, "You can't be serious."

"Of course, I'm serious," I stated definitively.

He looked at me blankly, and again, I didn't know why I bothered to continue this conversation. "Tyler, if you're so miserable, why did you and Lauren get married? Why not consider adoption? Or…"

He shrugged. "As soon as Lauren found out she was pregnant, she got off on how everyone was paying attention to her. She didn't even care that it was negative attention." _Attention whore that she is._

"Her parents are kind of old-fashioned," he continued. "And they convinced my parents that I needed to 'do the right thing'". His voice deepened, mimicking his father. "Now, I'm stuck…" _With Lauren and a kid I don't even want._

"A child is a blessing," I said emphatically. I looked into his eyes and apparently my gaze was a bit too intense since he shrunk back away from me.

"Right, of course," he muttered. "Congratulations." _Cullen's a freak. _He stood up, awkwardly returned to his original seat and began typing on his phone. He was sending text messages to everyone he could think of to tell them how crazy he thought I was. If he knew that this baby was more than planned and the hoops we'd jumped through to make it happen, he'd really think I was crazy.

Most of our former classmates were away at college, yet I knew our baby was still big news to the gossip hounds of Forks.

Angela and Ben were the only friends we had told about the baby. They were away at school in Seattle, but we made a special trip to visit them. They were both genuinely happy for us, though I heard Ben doing the math in his head. He blushed and shrugged sheepishly when I told him mid-thought that our little miracle was a honeymoon baby.

I picked up the magazine again and this time got engrossed in an article about breastfeeding. Bella and I hadn't talked about it yet, but I hoped she planned to breastfeed. It's better for the baby, but I also couldn't get the image out of my head of how natural and beautiful Bella would look nursing our baby boy.

"Mr. Cullen," the nurse, who I hated a little less now, called from the doorway. "You can come on in now."

I jumped up and forced myself to walk at a human pace as I followed her to the exam room. Bella looked so cute sitting there in her paper gown. When I told her so, she rolled her eyes at me.

Dr. Snow joined us a few minutes later. He checked over Bella's chart and asked her several questions. Based on the date of her last menstrual cycle, he estimated that her due date was May 10th and that she was ten weeks along.

Our wedding was exactly eight weeks ago and knowing the pregnancy calendar begins two weeks before conception, it seemed that we conceived on our wedding night. It was silly, but I was quite proud of myself for that.

Dr. Snow performed an internal ultrasound, and I tried to not dwell on the fact that he was seeing the most intimate parts of my wife. His thoughts were strictly clinical, lucky for him. I tend not to be at my most rational where Bella is concerned.

Bella held my hand and locked eyes with me to try to distract herself from what was going on. I didn't imagine it would be very comfortable for her.

"Ah, there we are," Dr. Snow said cheerily. "There's baby Cullen."

The picture wasn't perfect, but I could see our baby! I could see the thumping of his heart and it matched the beautiful sound I'd been hearing for the last couple of weeks.

Bella's eyes filled with tears when she finally heard the heartbeat. She squeezed my hand and brought my fingers up to her lips.

"It's so fast," she marveled. "It's supposed to be like that, right?

I nodded as Dr. Snow said, "Sounds perfect." He pointed out the baby's features and I could tell Bella was completely overwhelmed. In truth, so was I.

"Would you like me to print some pictures?" Dr. Snow asked.

"Yes, please," Bella tearfully responded. "I promised my mom I'd send a picture to her as soon as I could."

To our surprise, Renee had been very happy to find out that she was going to be a grandmother. However, she did make us promise that the baby would call her "Nay Nay," instead of "Grandma". Bella cried when we talked about it later, knowing that Renee likely wouldn't get to spend much time with her grandchild at all. We still had a lot of decisions to make, but I tried not to dwell on it and just enjoy this time in our lives. This would be our only baby, and we wanted to live in the moment as much we could.

We discussed our travel plans with Dr. Snow and he agreed with what Carlisle had already told us: that Bella was fine to travel up until her third trimester as long as she was feeling up to it.

Travelling had been our cover story for not starting college right away, but I still planned to take Bella on several trips. She'd never been further east than Albuquerque and hadn't even visited her mother in Florida yet. Jacksonville was to be our first stop, followed by London, Paris and Dublin.

Dr. Snow congratulated us again and instructed Bella to listen to her body and call him if she had any questions. He handed her the ultrasound pictures, instructed her to make another appointment for four weeks from now and left the room quietly.

Bella immediately burst into tears. I held her and rubbed her back soothingly. I was getting pretty good at deciphering her cries — whether they were happy, sad, frustrated or scared. This one seemed to be a combination of happy and scared.

I wiped her eyes and she gave me a watery smile. "It's real now," she whispered. She rubbed her slightly bloated stomach. "I knew it was real, I knew he was in there, but I heard him, I saw him. He's real."

I knew exactly what she meant. I looked at the ultrasound picture again and nodded. "He's real."

**.**

**.**

"Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order please?" These were words I never thought would be shouted at me through a decrepit voice box at a fast food restaurant, but I was wrong. When your wife is thirteen weeks pregnant and thrilled that the morning sickness has finally abated and decides she wants tacos at 11:00 p.m. on a Tuesday night, you get in your car and go.

I had to go all the way to Port Angeles, but I made it in less than thirty minutes. Bella was not an unreasonable person by any stretch of the imagination, but even she admitted that being pregnant made her feel completely out of control at times.

Times like this.

Bella had eaten dinner like normal. Then she had ice cream. Then she had pretzels with peanut butter and M&M's because she _needed _salty and sweet. The peanut butter was for protein since she was determined to eat as healthy as possible. _Totally reasonable, to a pregnant woman at least._

When she told me that she had to have tacos, that she couldn't sleep because she couldn't get the thought out of her head, I decided not to mention that Taco Bell probably wasn't the best option if healthy eating was her main concern.

I placed my order, paid the giggling teenage girl that waited on me and drove as quickly as I could back to Forks. When I arrived, Bella was sound asleep.

I couldn't help but laugh. And I laughed harder when Bella mumbled, "Mmmmm…tacos," as she rolled over.

I was about to leave the room and throw away the foul-smelling fast food when Bella shot up. "Hand it over, please?" She pointed to the bag. "It smells so good."

I resisted the urge to gag and placed it on the tray I'd arranged in front of her. _Anything for Bella. _

It was amazing how happy and content she looked after eating those damn tacos. I just smiled, more than happy to indulge her. When she got up to use the bathroom and brush her teeth again, I couldn't help but stare at her stomach. It had gone from slightly bloated to full-on baby belly almost overnight. She looked like she'd swallowed a small basketball, and she looked more adorable than ever.

She complained about how fat she was getting, though she'd only gained eight pounds, but I'd catch her looking in the mirror, rubbing her belly with a smile on her face. Bella was utterly breathtaking, and I was the luckiest creature on the planet.

**.**

**.**

"Can I get you anything else, sir?" the overly friendly flight attendant asked me again. Bella and I were only an hour in to our flight from Florida to London after our stay in Jacksonville and the flight attendant had stopped by our seats three times already.

"No thank you, but my wife would like some milk, please," I responded with a hesitant smile. Bella smiled smugly at her, and she nodded and mumbled, "Of course," before she scurried away.

Bella was now fifteen weeks pregnant and the heartburn she suffered from almost daily was making her miserable. She had enjoyed her visit with Renee, but her mother hovered over her nearly every second we were there. She also regaled her with stories of what an awful pregnancy she'd had and gave her constant tips on how to handle all of the unpleasant pregnancy symptoms she was dealing with.

"Does she not see the ring on your finger?" Bella hissed. I hid my smile. Bella was rarely jealous and territorial and I sort of enjoyed seeing this side of her. Briefly. "And did you have to encourage her?"

Okay, so it seemed irrational Bella was going to make an appearance.

"Sweetheart," I began.

Bella slumped in her seat. "Forget it," she murmured. "I know I'm being crazy."

She fiddled again with the lumbar support button on the console of her seat, presumably to find just the right amount of pressure to ease the ache in her lower back. As someone who had not done much flying, Bella was enchanted by the amenities of first class. She had reclined her seat all the way back as soon as we'd boarded and then collapsed into a fit of giggles when she found she could not sit back up to take the menu the flight attendant was trying to hand her moments later.

She had carefully studied the dinner offerings and quickly became frustrated when she couldn't decide. I suggested that she get one of everything, and Bella looked at me like I was crazy. I could see the wheels turning in her mind after a moment though.

"You order half of everything, and I'll order the other half," she suggested in a small voice.

I nodded and kissed her forehead. As usual, I could deny her nothing.

When the flight attendant returned to deliver Bella's milk, she carefully avoided looking at me so as not to set off my jealous wife. She glanced down at Bella's stomach, which was now a very obvious baby bump. "Heartburn?" she asked.

Bella nodded.

"It's the worst isn't it?" she asked knowingly. "I had it almost every day when I was pregnant."

"I feel like I could spit fire out of my mouth!" Bella exclaimed. "No matter what I do, it won't go away."

"Oh honey, I hear ya," the flight attendant agreed. "I'm Chrissie. Let me know if I can get you anything else." She patted Bella's shoulder before she walked away.

Bella leaned her head against my shoulder and said, "She's really nice." I nodded, but didn't say anything about the one-eighty she'd done in her opinion of the flight attendant. I was getting accustomed to the mood swings, and I had learned that oftentimes it was best to keep my mouth shut.

After the in-flight meal, Chrissie stopped by our seats and offered Bella some peppermints and gum. "It actually helps with the heartburn," she told us.

"Thanks, I'll try anything," Bella responded gratefully.

Bella popped the peppermint into her mouth then leaned over to kiss me. "Thanks for putting up with my craziness."

I returned her kiss and stroked her cheek. "You're not crazy. You're growing a baby. You're entitled to feel a little out of sorts." I chose my words carefully.

Bella yawned and I cradled my arms around her. "Sleep, my love," I whispered in her ear.

"I'm really excited about going to London," Bella said sleepily. "You're the best husband ever." She drifted off to sleep a few moments later.

And like I had so many times, since before our relationship even began, I happily watched her sleep. Eventually, I closed my eyes, splayed my hand across Bella's stomach and focused on the melodic heartbeats of the loves of my life.

**.**

**.**

Thanks for reading!

Phoenix Fan1

March 23, 2012


	17. Note

Sorry, this is not an update. I just had to get this stuff off of my heart [ Sydney_Alice's readers will get that reference :) ]

I remember when 107 Year Old Virgin posted a note when she finished writing FAP. I'm paraphrasing of course; I don't remember exactly what her note said word for word but I remember the sentiment behind it. She explained how her constant need to check her email, tweets, fan fic traffic, etc was affecting her marriage. I think her note mentioned that she'd tried to step back, not check email or tweet as much but knowing those emails were out there and tweets were being unanswered, was too distracting for her. All of those things made her husband feel ignored and unloved. I remember thinking he was kind of a jerk for wanting her to give up her hobby and pay more attention to him.

I was wrong.

I now find myself in the same situation. Well, sort of. I have no where near the following 107 had, but still, I get where she was coming from. If I'm not tweeting, checking Facebook (more on that later) writing (barely since I haven't written anything lately), I'm reading fan fiction. Constantly. Obsessively. I never thought it would take up so much of my time, take up so much of my life, but it has.

I love tweeting with the wonderful friends I've made, I love getting reviews for my story. I LOVE reading Twilight fan fiction. The creativity of this fandom astounds me and I have gotten so emotionally invested in the stories I've read. I've laughed, I've cried, I've raged. I had no idea how words on a page could affect me so deeply.

And what can I say about Twitter… the friends I've made have turned out to be people I like more than my real life friends! I confided that I might be pregnant to my Twitter friends before I even told my husband or my sister. I've gotten advice from you wonderful people; shared stories about my life. You've shared your lives with me. It's been incredible.

Now comes the crappy part. I just can't do it anymore. My twitter friends already know all about me but you fic readers who aren't on twitter might not so here's a glimpse into my life: I've been married almost 9 years. I have two daughters, ages 6 and 1. I work full time. I have a big extended family and my house is the gathering place for my husband's group of friends. I almost always have something else I _should _be doing when I'm tweeting, Facebooking, writing or reading. Friends and family come over, and instead of visiting and being social, I sit there ignoring them with my iPhone never leaving my hands.

Two things have happened recently that have finally put my family over the edge. The first thing is Facebook. I finally created a Facebook page because that was the only place I knew of that was keeping track of the stories that FFn pulled. My husband was really pissed that I joined FB. To him, it was just one more thing that was getting my attention over him and our kids. He simply griped about it at first, but eventually he blew up at me over it. And my personality is such that I immediately go on the defensive and bark back. But then I stop and think about what the person said and most times I realize that I was wrong. In this case, that's exactly what happened.

The second thing was what I have referred to as the best and worst purchase of my life: my beloved iPad. I love my iPad but my family hates it. Simply because I'm ALWAYS on it. Reading, tweeting, etc. A few weeks ago, my daughter told me that I must have a "boring brain" if all I want to do is read. I laughed it off, told her that one day she'd love reading as much as I do. But the more I thought about it, the more upset I got. I shouldn't be seen as boring to my 6 year old. She should think I'm one of the most fun people to be around. When she gets a little older, I fully expect her to see me as boring and crotchety, but not now when she's still so young.

And again, the more I thought about it, the more I realized she was right. What does it say about me that I'd rather sit on the couch with my iPad on my lap reading my stories, than be out and about playing with my kids? Of course everyone needs their quiet time to sit and read, but I spend FAR too much time doing that. My little one probably thinks my iPhone and iPad are attached my body since it's all she's ever known.

Like 107, I've tried to step back. But my addictive personality has made it really difficult. For me, it's not easy to simply not check twitter or not read the update that is screaming "READ ME NOW!" from my inbox. I feel like I'm missing out when my twitter friends are talking back and forth and I'm not a part of it. And I will miss it immensely but time with my family is more important and I have to put them first. The fact that my husband feels ignored, that my kids think I'd rather not play with them just hurts me too much.

This is not an easy decision to make but after big fight with my husband last week, I've been doing a lot of soul searching and I've decided to delete my Twitter account. And it kills me to do it because, even though I don't really know those people, I have come to consider them my friends. I'll be deleting Facebook, too.

And I won't be writing anymore. Once in a while, I get PM's asking me if I'll be updating soon. Those messages thrill me because it means someone actually cares enough about my story to ask about it but they also make me sad because I know I just don't have the time to write anything and I feel guilty. I don't know if I should pull my story. I don't want to because I may find time to continue it one day. But maybe I should because we all know how much it sucks to have an incomplete story out there. I don't know what to do.

There is no way I can give up reading fan fic completely. And I know I shouldn't have to give it up, because it's something I truly enjoy but I have to be more responsible about it. I shouldn't make my family eat dinner late because I got an update and I _have_ to read it immediately. Or miss my baby girl's second step because I'm too busy tweeting about her first.

I know some of you reading this may think I'm a drama queen and should just disappear from the fandom and be done with it. And maybe I should have but I just couldn't do it. I wanted to take the time to explain myself to those of you who care.

The stories on FFn, the writers and readers who became my friends mean so much to me. It is with a very heavy heart that I am stepping away.

Forgive the Oscar speech but in closing I have to thank some people. (I'll refer to them as their twitter handles.) Readers/writers/twitter friends who I adore and will miss so much: **ttharman, cicig_1982, tracid28, sscana, ashma0407, smokeyrosey, fangmom, wytchwmn75, wheather79, petegirlsmom, barburella, wendyherrington, shasta53, djsmommie, jengreen03, nowaywithwords **and** sydney_alice.** You ladies are simply wonderful and I am so incredibly sorry if I forgot anyone. I'm sure I did and will realize who I forgot and hate myself later. Sigh.

And I hope this doesn't offend any of my other writer friends, but the stories of **SexyLexiCullen **(specifically Instructions Not Included) and **YellowHyacinth** (specifically my all time favorite story, Age of Consent) have touched my heart so deeply that I'll never forget them. And I've had such fun talking to them on Twitter.

And finally, **Lisa (HollettLA)** my beta - crap, now I'm crying - is just the best. She's a fantastic editor, but she means so much more to me than that. She gives great advice, always has an open ear, err, eye since our communication is done through text, but you know what I mean ;) Her friendship has meant so much to me. I'm a dork, but Lisa I'm being honest when I say, like Dorothy to the Scarecrow at the end of Wizard of Oz, "I'm going to miss you most of all."

I'll keep Twitter open and PM's enabled for a little while in case you want to respond, but you don't have to. Just know that I will miss you all so much! Thanks for reading my story, sharing your stories with me and for being my friends.

Phoenix Fan1

June 28, 2012


	18. Note 2

Sorry for another fake out/non update. I'm a wordy bitch and had a few more things to say…

It has been suggested to me that I may want to consider letting someone take over my story and complete it. I'm open to that idea. If you would like to, or know of anyone who would, please let me know. Also, feel free to spread the word via Twitter and Facebook. I'd appreciate it! I loved my story so much and if it could be continued, I'd be thrilled! I haven't disabled PM's and I don't plan to anytime soon. :)

I have deleted my Twitter and Facebook accounts. I had a long talk with my husband over the weekend and finally explained to him how much you all meant to me. He's definitely more sympathetic now, but he's still thrilled that I finally have my priorities straight! Our ninth anniversary is Thursday and I know by our tenth, we'll be in a much better place than we are now.

Again, thank you all for your understanding. The reviews and PM's I've gotten were so sweet and supportive! I was blown away by the outpouring of kind words and well wishes I received! Many of you shared your stories with me and I know now that I'm not the only one that has struggled with how addicting FFn and social media can be. Stay strong ladies (and gents)!

I have disabled email alerts to my phone, but I'll be checking my email during my downtime at work. If you'd like to keep in touch, I'd love to hear from you! phoenix_fan_1 yahoo . com

Thank you all again for your love and support! I can't even begin to put into words what you all mean to me!

Phoenix Fan1

July, 2 2012


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